Social Life
OR The Manners and Customs of Polite Society
CONTAINING THE RULES OF ETIQUETTE FOR ALL OCCASIONS AND FORMING A COMPLETE GUIDE TO SELF-CULTURE IN CONVERSATION, DRESS, DEPORTMENT, CORRESPONDENCE, THE CARE OF CHILDREN AND THE HOME.
BY MAUD C. COOKE, The Well-known and Popular Author .
EMBELLISHED WITH COLORED PHOTOTYPES.
PREFACE.
The Essence of Etiquette.
The Influence of Good Manners.
The Marks of True Politeness.
The Great Value of Courtesy.
Rules of Etiquette.
An English Custom.
You May Introduce Yourself.
A Custom Out of Date.
Forms of Introduction.
What Should Follow the Introduction.
A Lady’s Wishes Should be Respected.
SALUTATIONS.
Removing the Hat.
The Privilege of Recognition.
Returning Salutations.
Shaking Hands.
Words of Salutation.
The Good Listener.
Suitable Topics.
Misuse of Quotations.
“Small Talk.”
A Valuable Source of Knowledge.
Cultivate Your Mind.
“Drawing Out Others.”
The Passion for Argument.
Wit and Humor.
Evil Speaking.
“Telling Stories.”
Absent-Mindedness.
Profuse Compliments.
Contradictions and Interjections.
Voice and Manner.
Conversational Sins.
Use of the Lips and Facial Expressions.
Control Your Temper.
Misuse of Initials.
Visiting Cards.
Style of the Card.
Size of the Card.
Engraving the Name.
Address on Cards.
Cards for Gentlemen.
Cards for Receptions.
Foreign Phrases.
P.P.C. Cards.
Turning Down the Corners.
How to Leave Cards.
Number of Cards to be Left.
Calls upon Young Ladies.
How to Send Cards.
When to Leave Cards.
Entertainments and Calls.
Other Hints.
Various Cards.
Acknowledgment of Inquiry Cards.
Length of Visits.
The Art of Leaving.
When Ready to Leave, Go at Once.
First Calls.
Substitute for First Call.
Morning and Evening Visits.
Sunday Visits.
Reception Days.
“Not at Home,” “Engaged.”
Visiting List.
Visits Between Ladies and Gentlemen.
“Out of Society.”
Conduct of the Hostess.
Entertaining Callers.
Conduct of the Guests.
Deference to Ladies.
What Not to Do.
The Reception-Room.
Note Paper for Invitations.
Invitation Cards.
Written Regrets.
Uninvited Guests.
Inviting Married People.
Dinners.
Asking for Invitations.
Evening Parties, Balls and “At Homes.”
Masquerades.
Musicales, Soirées and Matinées.
Garden Parties.
Breakfasts, Luncheons and Suppers.
Teas and “Kettledrums.”
Kaffee Klatsch.
Suppers.
Coming-out Parties.
Receptions.
Weddings.
How Invitations are Sent.
Wedding Invitations.
Announcement Cards.
Wedding Anniversaries.
“No Presents Received.”
Revise the Visiting List.
Answering an Invitation.
Accepting a Dinner Invitation.
Accepting a Dinner Invitation.
Declining a Dinner Invitation.
Persons in Mourning.
Addressing the Answer.
Wedding Invitations.
Wedding Anniversaries.
Theater and Opera Parties.
Luncheons and Suppers.
Other Invitations.
Refusing After Acceptance.
What Not to Do.
Errors of Love-Making.
How to Carry on Courtship.
A Case to the Point.
Choice of Associates.
First Steps.
Character.
Disposition.
Trifling.
Etiquette of Making and Receiving Gifts.
Proposals of Marriage.
Unbecoming Haste.
How to Deal with Objections.
Sealing the Vow.
A Full Understanding.
Important Trifles.
Love Feeds on Love.
The Best of all Possessions.
The Source of Miseries.
How to Cherish Love.
Conduct Toward Parents.
Length of Engagements.
Broken Engagements.
Etiquette of Married Life.
The Art of Agreeableness.
Duty Toward One Another.
Home Attire.
Household and Personal Expenses.
A Pleasant Disposition.
Boarding Versus Home Life.
Paying for the Cards.
Naming the Day.
Announcing the Engagement.
Wedding Gifts.
List of Invitations.
Ushers.
“The Best Man.”
Bridemaids.
A Church Wedding.
After the Ceremony.
The Reception.
Refreshments.
Rehearsals.
The Wedding Breakfast.
Departure.
Home Weddings.
Invitations to Church Weddings.
Dress for the Occasion.
Morning Costume.
A Quiet Wedding.
Re-marriage.
The Ring.
Reception Days.
WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES.
Suitable Presents.
Speeches and Congratulations.
Courtesies of Married Life.
What Women Admire.
What Men Desire.
Fault-Finding.
Home Conversation.
Slang and Exaggerations.
Some Do’s for Girls.
Young Ladies, Take Heed.
Some Do’s for Boys.
Guard the Voice.
How to Treat Servants.
Have Rules and Enforce Them.
Rights of Others.
Power of Example.
Keeping Promises.
Talebearing.
Truthfulness.
Respectfulness.
Obedience.
Manner of Address.
Interrupting Conversation.
“Showing Off.”
Reproof Before Others.
Cleanliness and Order.
Home Hints.
“Visiting.”
Slang, Profanity, Intemperance.
At Table.
Leaving the Table.
Invitations.
Host and Hostess.
Whom to Invite.
Seating the Guests.
Laying the Table.
A Well-Furnished Sideboard.
Table Decorations.
Lighting the Table.
Serving the Dinner.
How the Dishes are to be Passed.
Serving the Different Courses.
The Menu.
Favors.
Wines, and How to Serve Them.
Gracefully Declined.
Order of Precedence.
Informal and Easy.
French Terms.
Right or Left Arm?
Further Hints.
American Dinner Services.
Directions to Waiters.
Salads and Desserts.
Dinner Dress.
Coming and Going.
Functions.
Dinner Favors.
The Breakfast Table.
Knives, Forks and Napkins.
The Dinner Table.
The Supper Table.
The Lunch Table.
Signs of Ill-Breeding.
The Fork.
The Spoon.
The Knife.
Adam’s Knives and Forks.
Napkin and Finger-Bowl.
Avoiding Fruit Stains.
General Table Etiquette.
How to Treat Waiters.
Sundry Rules and Hints.
Use of Knife and Fork.
Disgusting Habits.
Fruits.
Invitations.
Receiving.
Should Make Every One Happy.
Making Things Easy for the Hostess.
Entertainment.
Duties of the Guests.
Beware of too Much Reserve.
Hours of Arrival and Departure.
RECEPTIONS.
Evening Receptions.
Morning Receptions or Matinées.
Correct Dress.
SUPPER PARTIES.
A Simple Supper.
A Game Supper.
A Fish Supper.
General Arrangements.
Concerning the Music.
Refreshments.
Host and Hostess.
Arrival and Departure.
The Escort.
Receiving Ladies.
General Rules for Observance.
Formality of Introductions.
Attentions Paid to Ladies.
For Ladies.
DANCING.
The Most Desirable Dances.
No Favorites to be Allowed.
Private Balls Given in Public.
Public Balls.
MASQUERADES.
Choice of Costumes.
Suitable Dress.
Receiving Guests.
The Entertainment.
Invitations.
Duty of Guests.
MUSICALES.
Arranging the Program.
Arrangement of Performers and Guests.
LAWN PARTIES.
Amusements to be Provided.
Tables and Refreshments.
Seats.
Lawn Parties for Charity.
Concerning the Viands.
Bill of Fare for Breakfast.
Wedding Breakfast Menu.
A Bachelor Breakfast.
A Golden-Rod Breakfast.
Choice Blending of Colors.
LUNCHEONS.
Luncheon Refreshments.
Entering the Dining-Room.
Lunch or Luncheon.
Luncheon Favors.
Some Betrothal Luncheons.
Blue and White Tableware.
A Dresden Luncheon.
CONCERNING TEAS.
High Tea.
Menu.
Five O’clock Teas, or “At Homes.”
The Five O’clock Tea Table.
Pages.
Receiving Friends.
The Eatables.
“Bringing Out” a Débutante.
Gentlemen Visitors.
How to Leave.
An Afternoon Tea-Saucer.
“Pink and Blue Teas.”
Invitations for Theater Parties.
Dress for the Opera.
Picnic Parties.
What to Eat.
Tongue and Sandwiches.
Chaperons.
A Marshmallow Toast.
Roof Parties.
Bachelor’s Parties.
A Flower Party.
Bicycle Teas.
A Barn Party.
Bachelor Women and their Entertainments.
A Sandwich Spread.
Private Theatricals.
A Social Evening.
Authors’ Parties
Firelight Parties
Conversaziones.
A Country Dinner.
Etiquette of Card Playing and Games.
Outdoor Amusements.
Hunting Parties.
Archery, Lawn Tennis and Croquet.
Boating and Yachting.
Children’s Parties.
The Christening.
Attendance at the Ceremony.
Godfathers and Godmothers.
Candle Party.
Christening Gifts.
Dainty Presents for the Newcomer.
Some Birthday Superstitions.
CONFIRMATION.
GRADUATION.
Avoid all Extravagance.
Funeral Invitations.
Showing Respect for the Dead.
To a Lady on the Death of her Husband.
To a Friend on the Death of Her Sister.
To a Friend on the Death of His Brother.
To a Friend on the Death of Her Child.
To a Friend on a Sudden Reverse of Fortune.
Etiquette in Church.
Etiquette of Fairs.
Etiquette of Shopping.
Etiquette of the Theatre, Opera and Concert.
Between the Acts.
Etiquette of the Street.
Evading a Long Talk.
ETIQUETTE OF RIDING.
THE ETIQUETTE OF BOATING.
Assisting Ladies to Their Seats.
Who Should Row.
A Popular Exercise.
A Cycler’s Guide.
Maids Do Duty.
A Man’s Duty.
Assisting the Lady.
On the Road.
For Protection Against Dogs.
A Few Don’ts for Cyclers.
Women’s Bicycle Rides.
Length of the Ride.
Skirts are an Abomination.
A Pace Indicator.
Don’t Dodge a Bicycle.
Observing the Rules.
Introduction of Friends.
Barring Out Disputed Questions.
Presiding at a Woman’s Club.
Order of Business.
Influence of Women.
Effect of Cultured Manners.
A Sympathetic Nature.
Power through Repose.
A Good Listener.
How Men are Spoiled.
Who Bows First?
“Lady” or “Gentleman?”
Misuse of the Term “Lady.”
A Promissory Note.
A Joint Note.
A Receipt on Account.
A Receipt in Full.
Form for a Bill.
What and What Not to Say.
Various Hints on Etiquette.
First Attentions for Ladies.
Minor Usages of the Best Society.
Breaches of Etiquette.
The Recognized Head.
Formal Calls.
Ministers from Foreign Countries.
The Three Languages.
Harmonious Development of the Body.
Relaxing the Muscles.
Art of Breathing.
Position of the Shoulders.
Standing and Walking.
Stair-Climbing.
Art of “Letting Go.”
On Corset Wearing.
General Remarks.
Stout and Thin.
Tall or Short.
Decorations.
Décolleté Costume.
Graceful Sleeves.
Purchasing.
The Young Girl.
Diamonds and Precious Stones.
Plump Women.
Black Satin and Sparkling Jets.
Complexion Determines Dress Colors.
Combinations of Color.
Red Hair, with Brown Eyes.
Red Hair, with Gray or Green Eyes.
The Ineffective Type.
Stylish and Appropriate Jewels.
Black Hair, Rather Sallow Skin.
Black Hair, Clear Skin, Blue Eyes.
Chestnut Hair, Fair Skin, Blue Eyes.
Almost Any Color.
Gray Hair.
The Black Gown.
Various Hints.
The Choice of Colors.
Harmony and Contrast of Colors.
Dress at Home.
The General Fitness.
Common-Sense Sleeves.
Gloves and Shoes.
Artifices of the Toilet.
When to Wear Jewels.
Use of Scents and Flowers.
The Face Veil.
When to Wear Gloves.
When to Wear Low-cut Gowns.
Ball Dress.
Opera Dress.
Theater Costume.
Dinner Dress.
Traveling Notes.
Bridal Dress.
Bridemaid’s Dress.
What Wedding Guests Wear.
Ordinary Evening Dress.
Dress for Church.
Receiving Calls.
Calling or Visiting Costume.
Walking Dress.
Carriage Dress.
Dress for Lent.
Dress for Riding.
Lawn Parties.
Picnics and Excursions.
Croquet, Archery, Skating, Etc.
Bathing Dress.
Yachting Dress.
Dress for Gentlemen.
Evening Dress for Gentlemen.
Morning Dress for Gentlemen.
Wedding Dress for Gentlemen.
Gloves for Gentlemen.
General Hints.
Evening Suit for Boys.
A Rare Accomplishment.
The Style,
Grammar and Orthography.
Handwriting, Paper and Ink
Common Abbreviations.
The Proper Salutation.
Use of the Husband’s Name.
Punctuation Marks.
Writing the Superscription.
Points to be Remembered.
Titles.
Domestic Titles.
Social and Friendly Letters.
Letters of Introduction.
A Letter of Recommendation
Letters of Condolence
Letters of Congratulation
Proposals, Engagements, “Naming the Day,”
Notes Accompanying a Gift
Notes of Apology
Notes of Postponement
Notes of Request or Refusal
Business Letters
Answers to Advertisements
Some Don’ts and Do’s for Letter-Writers.
Fireplaces and Windows.
Stairways.
Woodwork.
Doors.
A Door Divan.
An Improvised Bookcase.
Screens.
Draperies.
Some Useful Bits of Furniture.
A Hanging Desk.
A Window Desk.
A Hall Chest.
Cozy Corners.
Plenty of Pillows.
A Corner Closet.
Piano Decoration.
Lighting.
Decorating.
Home of the Soul.
Some Lovely Rooms.
As to Furniture.
Pictures.
Mottoes.
Treatment for a Rough Skin.
Reducing Flesh.
Refreshing Sleep.
How to Take Care of the Eyes.
The Hair and How to Take Care of It.
An Excellent Head Covering.
Recipe for the Complexion.
Care of the Lips.
Remedies for the Lips.
Smoothing Out the Wrinkles.
The Feminine Waist.
Beautiful Arms.
Treatment for the Hands.
Scissors and Nail-brush.
To Cure Burning of the Skin.
Remedy for Chilblains.
Foot-Wear.
