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Dealing with Unsociable Behaviour: 1–4 years old What to expect
ОглавлениеToddlers are as much maligned as teenagers; they are labelled rebellious, defiant, even impossible. And yes they can be all those things. In fact these two development stages are similar, as the children are battling for independence. Our mission as parents from day one is to help, guide and educate them towards that independence.
However, a few valuable points to remember about toddlers are:
They have a short attention span
They do not have the ability to see the consequences of their actions
They are curious about everything
They are easily distracted
First, never forget that you are an adult. You are a responsible adult who can have a mortgage, drive a car, reproduce and earn a living. Your children may not yet be two, they probably can’t hold a pencil correctly, hold a conversation or control their bowels. So there’s no reason they should get the better of you, is there? Is there?
At around two your toddlers will start to assert themselves as the battle for their ultimate goal, independence, begins, which will incorporate winning and losing a few battles along the way. This two-year period is actually the time when they suss out what sort of parents you are and how much they will be able to get away with in the future. Their respect for you starts here. Crack it now and life will be easier for all of you. Although your children won’t recognize it, they will feel reassured and safe knowing that their parents are there constantly guiding, helping, correcting and leading them on their long road to independence.
Children need, and subconsciously want, boundaries and they need to know what they are. Keep rules simple so that they can understand, such as they are not allowed to hit the cat, or bang their sit-on car into the cupboard. Once they know their boundaries they will try and cross them.
Very often they will watch for your reaction as they do it, as if to say, ‘So what are you going to do about it?’ Do something about it. Stop them immediately. In these examples, remove the cat or the car and tell them why. They will be so much happier for it (so will the cat).
When toddlers start to disagree with you it’s not because they’re being disrespectful, they just have a different opinion. If you were to have a toddler that just sat quietly in the corner and obeyed your every command, then worry!