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I + you = us

Jesus said:

“That all may be one:

as thou, Father, art in me and I in thee.

that they also may be one in us,

that they may be made perfect in one”

(John 17: 21-23).

“That may be one, as you are in me and I in you.” Two lives called to be one us. “Yours and mine.” Two lives as two rivers, each with its own water and its own current. By joining the two rivers each brings his own water, current, color, temperature, and can be observed at the beginning of the new river, even the differences in both waters. As we get deep in its new course. It's a new reality. A unit is created. In marriage the same is true: at first “I” and “you”, to penetrate in the history of the couple discovered that mingled in the us.

This construction of us started a day like any other, but yet so different... we saw, we met and we experienced to no longer be strangers. We felt that between the two of us there was something identical and distinct that attracted ... it is what we call love... or: the common vocation to be a couple.

Was it coincidence? Many believe so. But actually, that was neither a fluke nor destiny, rather it was God that bound those hands together and placed between his weaving the story of two lives. Until that time, they were two separate stories, afterwards there are no longer two stories or two wandering rivers, but one story, the untold story of “us”. It is the story of you and also the story God as told through you. A story that no longer can live individually, each on his way, not even the two by themselves, but both and Him.

What once seemed like a child’s game suddenly became a commitment and a reality. A new world was created, a happiness that was to be built, two lives to be transformed into one. Perhaps both dreamed of that song by the group Mocedades which said:

Like a promise, you are, you are [to me]

Like a summer morning.

Like a smile, you are, you are [to me]

That's how, that's how, you are [that's how I perceive you]

You are like my hope, you are, you are [to me]

Like a fresh rain in my hands

Like a strong breeze, you are, you are [to me]

That's how, that's how, you are [that's how I perceive you]

You are the warmth in my home

You are (You are something like,)

Like the fire in my fireplace (something

like the fire from my fireplace)

You are (You are something like,)

The wheat of my bread (my love,

you are something like that).

Like my poem, you are, you are [to me]

Like a guitar in the night,

you are all my horizon, you are [to me]

That's how, that's how, you are [that's how I perceive you]

While both lives, along with the Lord, weave marital history. He accompanies them permanently to encourage and help them grow with fullness as a unit, but they will need to ask how to grow in this unit, which is not simply not be separated, but to achieve being one unit.

Is it still promises to build happiness? Are they summer mornings or autumn, the cold and cloudy days which have invaded them? Is there still a smile or just a bitter seriousness between the two? Is there hope or do they no longer expect anything from each other? Is there a fresh rain or a torrent of bad temper and selfishness? Is there a strong breeze supporting each other or a storm that produces loneliness? Are they a source of water or are they thirsty and looking for other “waters” from outside the couple? Is there warmth in their home or is there only cold and frigid areas? Are there still guitars of joy although there are nights of sorrow, or does love no longer sing in their lives? Are they still the horizons for each other or are they looking for new horizons?

Marriage requires constant work. Never forget that. “That they may be one ...”.

To discuss as a couple

1. What marriage experiences make us that “we”?

2. What aspects of our lives need polishing to stop belonging to the “I” or “you” and start being “we”?

3. Discuss the questions inserted in the text.

To pray together

Lord Jesus,

we want to be one

as the reality you live with the Father.

But we know it is not easy to

iron out all that still does not allow

a perfect unity.

Your grace, Lord,

As today,

Continue to help us grow

In this so beautiful relationship that we have

Proposed: to be one.

Join us to never separate,

being the one for the other,

Promise summer morning, smile, hope,

cool rain, strong breeze, source of water, warmth,

Guitar of joy, horizons ...

May we always be one ...

between us and you ...

Amen.