Читать книгу The Truth about Relationships - Stefan Blom - Страница 24

Take turns to speak

When you share your upsets, you have to accept that you will need to take turns to speak about what is really in your hearts and on your minds, without interrupting each other or fighting. This is not an invitation to fight – it is an invitation to speak, to exchange your inner dialogues.

The best thing you can do for your relationship is to try, always, to have the best conversation you can have.

This conversation may not be a perfect conversation. Conversations are not meant to be perfect – they are meant to show interest in, and understanding of, each other’s real thoughts and feelings. One of the best ways to have them is to give each other a turn to speak, respectfully.

A good conversation is not always a dialogue. A monologue – a conversation in which one person does most of the talking and the other listens and acknowledges – can be a very powerful process. If you struggle to listen without interrupting and fighting, try to take turns to do most of the talking. Try your best to listen and understand when it is not your turn to talk.

Questions to ask about your relationship

•Who wants to take the first turn to speak?

•How can we decide whose turn it is to speak?

•What can we do if we feel we might lose track of our thoughts while the other person is speaking?

•What can we do when we keep interrupting each other?