Читать книгу The Secret of Happy Parents: How to Stay in Love as a Couple and True to Yourself - Steve Biddulph - Страница 25

What human beings like in another person is pretty universal. Are they kind – to us, and to other people? (How do they treat their mother?) Are they funny – not the try-hard, jokester kind of funny, but good humoured about life, including its difficulties. (Why do the singles columns always have SOH – sense of humour – along with ‘likes romantic walks, candlelight dinners’, etc. Do they really mean: ‘Has to be able to put up with me being a drunk, losing the family car in a card game?’ You can just imagine the conversation six months down the track: ‘ So I burnt the house down – where’s your Sense Of Humour?’ While we’re on the subject, why do the singles ads never say ‘Good at washing up’ or ‘Excellent with crying babies’? And how about those that say ‘Children not a problem’? Who are they kidding? But we digress.)

Are they realistic, clear-headed, practical? These are likeable qualities, and very valuable in a partner-to-be. Do they have beliefs and values that you admire, and are they doing something more than just spouting words about these things ?

There are other qualities we like too, of course, that are not quite so deep. Lots of people marry or move in with someone because they like their hair, or those cute dimples, or that heaving bosom, or their country music collection. Good luck to them.

A note of caution. Our hormones can be our worst enemy at this stage. From the mid-teens on, nature wants us in love and breeding fast, so a certain amount of applying the brakes is needed. You make the best choices when you are not in such a hurry. That’s why it’s a good idea at any age to fill up your need to like and be liked with friendships of many kinds, before you get into the tangle of involving yourself in a couple. Loneliness blurs your judgement – believe it.