Читать книгу The Communication Playbook - Teri Kwal Gamble - Страница 155

Beliefs regarding gender-appropriate behavior not only influence how we see ourselves but also how we relate to others. Some people treat others differently simply because of their gender. In fact, many people persist in dressing boy and girl babies in different colors and styles. Our experiences during our formative years influence our later views of gender, affecting our identity and self-perceptions. For this reason, when asked to describe their characteristics, men mention qualities such as initiative, control, and ambition. Women, in contrast, lead with qualities such as creativity, concern for others, and consideration. Generally, men in the United States derive their self-esteem from their achievements, status, and income, while women derive their self-esteem based on appearance and relationships.⁵³

Unfortunately, many women develop less positive self-concepts than do men. Our society expects those who identify as female to be nurturing, unaggressive, deferential, and emotionally expressive. Because of this expectation, women with female identities are rewarded for having pleasing appearances, revealing their feelings, and being forgiving and helpful to others. Starting at a young age, girls are more likely to be self-critical and self-doubting than boys. Although women of all ages tend to value relationships, adolescent girls in particular can become so preoccupied with pleasing others that they metaphorically “bend themselves into pretzels.”⁵⁴ Do you find this true?

Men are more apt to develop an independent sense of self. Because men are expected to be strong, resilient, ambitious, in control of their emotions, and successful, they experience positive reinforcement for displaying these characteristics. Independence is central to their lives and often leads to those with masculine identities feeling better about themselves than do those with feminine identities.⁵⁵

Although appearance traditionally has played little role in the self-image of men, in recent years this has changed. More emphasis is now placed on the looks and builds of men, with extreme muscularity or thinness often the goal. For the most part, media present and reinforce prevalent conceptions of masculinity and femininity although they also can pave the way for societal acceptance of alternative conceptions.

All too frequently, rigid categorization creates communication problems. For example, beginning with the war in Iraq, we witnessed an evolution in the Pentagon’s and public’s perceptions of the positions in which women and men could serve in the military. Women and men, including trans women and men, have served in combat roles, come under attack, and been injured and killed. Whereas many are able to reconcile the traditional feminine role with that of a soldier in combat, others find it difficult to juxtapose contrasting perceptions. In fact, in 2017, the president of the United States ordered the military to reevaluate the presence of transgender soldiers in the military. Is this based on fact or prejudice? Where do you stand?