Читать книгу Life's a Laugh - Valerie Miličević - Страница 7

Part 1 Bonnie Scotland and the School Years

I guess you could say that the rot set in at primary school in Scotland. I was a rebel even then. I remember playing truant and raiding Mrs McFee’s crab apple tree and on another occasion, leading an expedition down the neighbouring quarry, all of us children tied together with ropes.

At St John and Columba's high school I was a complete duffer at maths.

One day I asked my dad to help me with my algebra homework. My dad was a bit of a maths fundi which I could never understand as, times being tight, he left school at fourteen years to join Chatham dockyard, transferring to Rosyth dockyard when I was two and a half.

“Griffin (no respect!) Come here!” Oh heck, what has my dad done now! Approaching his desk, he said, “What is the meaning of this!”. “Well Sir, it was a bit diff diff. .” “Oh, I know YOU didn't do it! I want to meet your father”. “My f f father Sir?” “Yes, I want to know how your father solved my algebraic equation in six lines when it's taken me the whole bloody blackboard!”

Being a myope, I was seated in the front row of the maths class. Rarely wearing my specs, I couldn't see much of what was going on. Gradually, I moved back, a few rows at a time until I was seated in the back row. A sharp shifty to the right saw me out the door and sitting quietly in a corner of the art room next door, gazing in awe at all the artistic endeavours going on around me. After a few weeks the art master, Mr C, said if I was going to sit there for hours, I might as well join in. And so, it was that I got my Higher Art! Not that I went to Art College. I couldn't wait to get out into the big wide world!

One week we were due to have an art inspection. The day before I suggested we play a joke on Mr. C. We would redecorate the art room. Each of us had to bring in certain articles from home, a wig, beanies, ribbons, streamers, toilet rolls and an onion and carrot. We were to arrive very early and set to work. The result was priceless! Then we scarpered to await Mr C's arrival.

Mouth agape, specs falling down his nose, he couldn't believe his eyes! But we felt so sorry for him that we couldn't bear it any longer and emerged from our hiding places. We soon had the art system room restored to its original pristine condition, but I'm quite sure Mr. C regretted ever inviting me to join his art class! But it had made school life so much more interesting and fun. Soon after I was made Head Girl, to teach me to set an example to others. Thus, ended all my shenanigans!

Awaiting the results of my Higher Leaving Certificate, my dad suggested I sit the Civil Service exam. When the results were released, I had scored good marks and was thus allowed to choose which ministry I preferred and being a people person, I opted for the Ministry of Labour. After three month's training in my home town, I was transferred to London, to the Hotel and Catering employment exchange in Tin Pan Alley.