Читать книгу Conversations with the Psychologist - Veronica Semenova - Страница 11

Question: “Hello! I’m very afraid of flying. After the birth of my children, this fear has turned into panic. On board the plane, especially when taking off, landing, or during any turbulence, I immediately think that the plane is going down and we are all going to die. I begin to tremble, break into cold sweat, and have difficulty breathing. I understand that this is an exaggerated reaction, but I can not help myself. On the plane, everyone feels sorry for me. They try to calm me, and my children look at me in horror. I understand that I am probably transferring my fear to them. What should I do?”

According to statistics, every third person is worried about traveling on an airplane. And every ten will never overcome the fear of stepping on board a plane. Fear of flying, or aerophobia, is one of the most common fears.

We are afraid of flights because we do not have control on the plane. We cannot stop the aircraft to get out, as we could do when riding in a car. But ask yourself, what do we really control in life? Are we able to influence all events?

People may be run over by cars on a pedestrian crossing not because they were crossing the road recklessly, but because they are not able to control the actions of the driver of a car rushing into them. A short circuit may happen in your neighbor’s apartment, starting a fire in your apartment building, and again, you are not able to control these events or change them.

You may be pick pocketed by thieves in the supermarket or, as the banal proverb says, “On the street, a brick may fall on your head.”

Dangers surround us from all sides. Does this mean that we need to build a fireproof, waterproof, anti-radioactive, hermetic, sterile bunker, lock ourselves in it, and stay “safe”? Or would we better live our lives, no matter how long or short they may be, enjoying the company of our dear family and friends and being able to travel, learn new things, work, do our hobbies, watch our children grow and succeed in life, taste delicious food and wine, and enjoy beautiful sunsets and sunrises? None of us can be fully sheltered from troubles, illnesses, or accidents. And we can not keep everything under control.

They say that the risk of dying in a plane crash is 500,000 times less than the risk of dying in a car accident. Comparing the number of daily flights and passengers with the number of airplanes accidents and deaths, you will find that airplane crashes are very rare. According to statistics, on average, more than 5 billion people fly on planes each year, of which 400—500 die in airplane crashes. That is only one out of 10 million passengers. It’s as if one person per year died in New York, Moscow, or London!

But, for some reason, even when studying the statistics, many people who are afraid of flying think that, despite the calming data, misfortune will happen specifically to them. They will be among those 400—500 people who will die this year, and it’s their plane that will crash. And the fear thrives!

Fear is a natural psycho-physiological reaction, the purpose of which is to help a person mobilize when an unusual or unsafe situation happens. It is normal when the emotion of fear occurs as a response to a specific threat or a source of stress, and it intensifies when you are called upon to make a choice.

Anxiety disorder and fear of flying can be counted as one. It is an excessive, frequent, and unreasonable level of anxiety in the process of expecting or finding yourself in a certain situation causing anxiety.

Among anxiety disorders, the fear of flying is quite common. There are two types of anxiety associated with flying: the natural excitement before the flight, which is a manifestation of a healthy instinct for self-preservation, and a pronounced pathological anxiety. When the intensity, frequency, or duration of fear before flight exceeds the conventional limits of the norm and the fear becomes permanent, and when a person is not able to control, adequately perceive, or logically assess what is happening, we talk about a clinically significant manifestation of aerophobia.

Manifestation of Phobia

Aerophobia in most cases manifests itself in the same scenario. A few days before the upcoming flight, the person begins to experience fear, nausea, and stomach cramps. Once at the airport, the sticky sensation of fear increases. There is a heaviness in the legs, and cold sweats break out. When on the plane, the heart pounds, the head feels empty, and there is the sensation of a lack of oxygen. With every flight, the sensations become more and more frightening and all-consuming. At that stage, the person is even afraid to hear that he has to fly.

True fear does not give a person a chance for self-control. That is, it completely absorbs the individual. Then this fear governs the person, forcing him to avoid flying. If traveling by air cannot be avoided in any way, then the person’s nervous tension reaches its limit during the flight.

However, anxiety in aerophobia is not directly related to the instinct of self-preservation. It is almost always not related to reality, but is aimed at the future. Anxiety is completely irrational and focuses on an “imaginary” threat. Often, aerophobia manifests itself in people who have never traveled on a plane and who have never witnessed an air crash. Nevertheless, their anxiety is enormous, intense, and firmly fixed in both the consciousness and subconscious.

The symptoms of aerophobia include:

– racing heart

– chest pain

– increased sweating

– nausea and the urge to vomit

– a frequent urge to urinate

– tremor of the extremities

– difficulty breathing

– headaches

– pallor or redness of the face

– difficulty focusing

– irritability, nervousness, and restlessness

– difficulty falling and/or staying asleep, or “nightmares”

– feeling lightheaded

With an attack of aerophobia, the symptoms intensify, rapidly progress, and, reaching a peak, manifest as a panic attack, the repetition of which develops into a panic disorder.

What can help?

Before the Flight

First, ask yourself: why did you decide to be afraid of planes? Why did you decide that you would die in a plane crash? Our fate is unknown to us, and it is impossible to predict when and where our lives will end. An awareness and acceptance of the fact that in some situations the outcome does not directly depend on us can significantly reduce anxiety. Surrender control over how and when you leave this world to the discretion of your destiny and focus on living your life fully, joyfully, and with pleasure.

The human mind is structured in such a way that when a disturbing situation is discussed out loud, anxiety and emotional tension are significantly reduced. Therefore, it is important to establish the primary cause of the anxiety associated with the fear of flying, discussing this matter in a calm environment.

What exactly are you afraid of? Early death? Pain and suffering? The fact that your affairs (financial, property, personal correspondence, “skeletons in the closet”) will not be sorted out at the time of your death? Perhaps you did not have time to say “I love you” to your family, or did not have time to ask someone for forgiveness? Not sure who will raise your children (if they are still small)?

You can find solutions to each of these fears. In some cases, accepting and preparing for the worst case scenario helps get rid of fear. For example, the solutions could involve drafting your will and informing relatives about where this will be kept in case of your death. Or letting go of grudges and reconciling with the people you regret having had conflict with. Or reminding your loved ones of how much you love them.

Logical reasoning will also help you realize that a plane crash death is instantaneous and is not associated with pain or suffering, unlike, for example, what people experience when they are dying from cancer.

Today, many mobile applications are available that allow real-time monitoring of all planes currently in the air, charting their arrival at each airport. Thousands of flights a day are simultaneously in the air, taking off and landing at destination airports. Your flight is not the only one and certainly will not be the last in your life.

Those experiencing aerophobia should study how planes actually fly. You can watch documentaries or go to a special center with air trainers. After such training, you will not be disturbed by strange sounds you might hear either upon takeoff or during the flight. You will learn that turbulence zones and making several turns before approaching for landing are standard flying situations that are not dangerous.

During the Flight

Don’t be afraid to inform the flight attendants of your fear. Say hello to the pilot, if you have an opportunity. It is usually calming to see a professional in uniform who is behaving confidently.

It’s good to plan in advance what you will be doing during the flight. For example, you can watch a movie, listen to music or an audiobook, read a magazine or a book, or take a computer with you and work. The idea is to give yourself a distraction.

Many people are able to calm themselves with a tasty snack or drink. However, beware of drinks containing caffeine, as they may stir up an already-agitated nervous system. Try to drink a lot of water, because the cabin air is very dry. Some try to calm their panic by drinking alcohol. This is unlikely to help, and it can really make you feel worse. It is also not advisable to take strong medication on board, as medicines can affect you differently at high altitude. Remember: the fear of flying is not a disease that needs to be treated with medications.

Take a walk down the aisle and stretch your legs and arms. Such exercises will help restore your blood circulation. When you sit down, do some exercises for your feet, hands, arms, and shoulders.

If you feel that panic is beginning to overwhelm you, try to talk to the passenger next to you. Share with them that you have a fear of flying and that it’s hard for you to overcome it. Perhaps your new acquaintance will tell you something interesting and help distract you from frightening fantasies.

If none of these tips helps, close your eyes, take deep breaths and make even deeper exhales, focussing only on the positive experiences that this trip will bring.

After the Flight

If the fear is turning into an anxiety disorder, consult a specialist psychologist who works with fear. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is especially helpful in coping with irrational beliefs and anxieties. The task of the psychologist is to give an accurate, logical explanation for the physical symptoms associated with fear.

For example, a person should understand that rapid heartbeat is not a sign of a heart attack, but the result of an exaggerated reaction to a stressor. A fearful person needs to completely get rid of the uncertainty and ambiguity of what is happening to him before there can be a clear plan for reducing anxiety. Therapy will teach you to control your condition instead of trying to control the situation. The most effective way of getting rid of the fear of flying on an airplane is to fly as often as possible to retrain your internal response to fear.

Have a good flight!