Читать книгу Conversations with the Psychologist - Veronica Semenova - Страница 9

Question: “August is finally here, and it’s time to think about a vacation. My husband and I work hard all year and feel we need to get some rest. Unfortunately, no matter how well we plan our vacation, we come back from the trip tired every time, as if we did not rest. What is the problem? What should we do to ensure that long-awaited holidays will really allow us to rest and come back refreshed?”

Our life itself is one great journey: a journey where we learn, grow, and get experience. Traveling on vacation can bring pleasant emotions and help you rest. It’s a chance to see the world, change your point of view, and expand the boundaries of your personality. And, finally, the journey is the best lesson you can afford.

When we travel, we expand our outlook, gain new knowledge, change, and get rid of outdated beliefs.

Some more advantages of traveling:

• Travel will help you become more self-confident. You will see and, perhaps, get acquainted with people who are different from you, behave differently, and live different lives. Some things may surprise you and some may cause you to feel grateful for the life you are fortunate to live. Meeting new people during a journey is always interesting and informative, as the people we meet have different experiences, worldviews, perhaps come from quite different environments.

• You will improve relationships with your loved ones. Often, conflicts and relationship problems happen because we get tired of our routines. Changing the environment and getting new, bright experiences during the trip will allow you to look at your relationships from a new angle.

• You may give up judgments such as “I’m too old/poor/stupid/sick” in order to travel. You will see that not only do young and strong people travel around the world, but also old people and the disabled, mothers with children, and so on. Travel demonstrates that life is worth living. It beats finding excuses about why this or that cannot be done.

• After each trip, you will feel as if you have completed one more lesson in the school of life. Besides, you did it with fun and excitement. You immersed yourself in another culture, met new people, tasted unfamiliar food, and gave yourself a chance to change your outlook on the world. You will also see your life from a completely different perspective, and may notice many new opportunities for self-development.

But in order for the vacation and your planned travel to really become a holiday, try not to forget about certain rules.

• Before you leave, try to finish all the important (and not very important) things at work and at home. Most of all, we get tired of unfinished business. If it is not possible to complete all pending tasks, then try at least to leave that unfinished business at home and not carry “worrying” about it with you on your trip. This could cloud the joy of your vacation days.

• Do not make too many plans for your vacation. Let your vacation life be a bit spontaneous. Do what you want, and if something was planned but you do not want to do it, ask yourself: “Do I really need to do this?”

• Try to rid yourself of hustle, at least during your vacation. We are always in a rush – we try to do several things at the same time, and feel guilty if we don’t. But, after all, vacation is for rest, not for continuing an endless race.

• Go to bed and get up when you want. Forget about the alarm clock. And eat meals only when you’re hungry, not because it’s time and you have nothing better to do.

• Try not to overload yourself with excursions and sightseeing-they require a lot of energy and may tire you more than a full day of work.

• The most important approach is to learn to enjoy ordinary things – the sun, the nature around you, the company of your loved ones, your health. Don’t focus on everyday troubles. The ability to enjoy life helps you live your life with joy all year round, not just during vacation.

Also, do not allow any familiar “role” dictate how you should behave. We take on social roles in life that support our self-esteem, allowing us to look good in our own eyes. For example: someone you know may like to travel and travels a lot, but after each trip, he does not talk about wonderful things and places he has seen, but only about how much hassle and troubles he encountered.

His baggage was lost, the plane was delayed, the hotel service was bad, the weather wasn’t good, he was cheated at a restaurant, and so on. Most likely, this person is using such descriptions of his travel to criticize these experience and thus feel better. And the social role this person bears doesn’t allow him to enjoy the trip, but rather leads him to travel in order to have a reason to complain and receive sympathy from those who hear these stories. After all, in any such story, there are two themes: “how much I suffered” and “what a hero I am.”

Optimists and pessimists look at the same world, but see it very differently. Anyone who travels with a positive outlook will find something interesting and exciting even in the poorest of environments. A more optimistic person will most likely have a more enjoyable and successful trip than a pessimist. In this sense, “lucky” and “unlucky” travelers are in an equal position-everyone just finds their own role.

The key to emotional wellbeing in life and on a short journey equally depends on being able to accept yourself as you are, defining any experience or new meeting as being positive, valuable, and welcome.

The Greek poet Constantinos Cavafy wrote, in his poem “Ithaca” (on Odysseus’ travels as depicted in Homer’s ancient Greek epic poem “Iliad and Odyssey’): “As you set out for Ithaka, pray your road is a long one, full of adventure, full of discovery… But don’t hurry the journey at all. Better if it lasts for years, so you’re old by the time you reach the island, wealthy with all you’ve gained on the way, not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.”

It is all about the journey, and our life is a journey itself that is more important than reaching the final destination. And thanks to this view of life in general and every journey in particular, one can work out a positive outlook for travel.

No matter where you go (whether to a five-star hotel; on a hike with a tent; or a hitchhiking tour of Europe), what’s important is the experiences and knowledge you will bring back from those journeys.

Travel is not a way to escape from yourself and your problems. As the old saying tells us, “No matter where you go, you will always take yourself with you.” Our life is a physical reflection of our thinking. Therefore, by improving our inner world and filling ourselves with a positive outlook and interest in our own life and the lives of others, we begin to see and understand more, and our life becomes more rich and happy.

Safe travels and good rest!