Читать книгу Anger Management For Dummies - W. Doyle Gentry - Страница 10

In This Chapter

▶ Understanding the adaptive possibilities of anger

▶ Spotting your anger buttons

▶ Identifying how, when, and where you express anger

▶ Seeing problems that accompany anger

How do you know when you have an anger problem? Some people say that any time you get angry, that’s a problem. Others disagree, arguing that anger is never a problem as long as it communicates that something is wrong in your life.

Cheryl, Stan, and Amber all work for an engineering firm. They have annual reviews scheduled for this week. All three experience some anger but express it very differently.

Cheryl’s boss tells her that her work is amazing but that other staff members have complained about her frequent irritability. Cheryl feels her pulse rate increase and her face redden, “I can’t understand that; I never get angry with anyone,” she insists, “I get everything done for everyone and this is the thanks I get?”

Stan often expresses his anger at work by slamming doors and yelling. His boss tells him that his emotions are out of control. He recommends that Stan attend anger-management classes. Stan slams the performance review on his desk and shouts, “How the hell do you expect me to act when everyone around me is an incompetent fool?”

Amber’s boss gives her a solid review. He asks her whether she has any concerns or complaints. She hesitates for a moment and calmly remarks, “Actually, I am upset and even a bit angry that a couple of my colleagues suffer from anger problems that distract me and hurt our workgroup’s morale.”

Perhaps you can tell that Amber manages her anger effectively, whereas Cheryl and Stan have problems with anger. In this chapter, we take the mystery out of trying to decide who does and doesn’t have too much anger. We help you determine whether you have anger that needs managing. We explain how people express anger in different ways and review a few problems that all too often accompany anger. But before reviewing the nature of anger problems, we show you how anger isn’t always a bad thing.