Читать книгу A Quest for Healing – A Story of Love - EBOOK - Wendy Carol Abelson RNCP ROHP - Страница 15

On January 22, 1987, I awoke with joy bubbling through me. I was about to catch the noon hour flight to Los Angeles. Michael would be there waiting for me!

No one had warned me that going through customs was a serious matter. Sometimes my innocent view of the world caused me a few eye-opening experiences. One of these scenarios was now staring me in the face. A woman stood before me drilling me with questions. She asked the questions at such a fast pace that I found it difficult to even remember my name. After my interrogation, I wondered what else customs would involve. To my relief, this part of the journey was finished.

The plane sat at the end of the runway. I looked out the window as the sun shone upon my face. My heart pounded as I heard the engines preparing for takeoff. We were soon flying off toward the sun.

After landing in Los Angeles, I walked through the airport to the luggage area. The airport was larger than I had imagined. It seemed to go on for miles. I found my suitcase and began to search for Michael. I could feel someone looking at me from behind. As I turned my head, I saw the smiling face of my friend. “Michael!” I said with enthusiasm.

“Sorry I’m late,” said Michael as he put his arms around me. We walked out the door and Michael put my luggage into the van. “You look very calm and relaxed.” Michael had expected me to be afraid of traveling by myself because of my health. My love for Michael and the desire to see him was greater than any fear.

“Are those real palm trees?” I asked excitedly. Of course they were real palm trees. It was a silly question.

“They’re real,” laughed Michael.

“Those are the first palm trees that I’ve seen in my entire life!” I felt like a newborn baby seeing the world for the first time. There were beautiful tropical plants of magnificent shapes and colors. Everything was captivating and exciting.

We followed the highway along the coast. The evening sunlight danced across the horizon as I caught the last glimmer of rays. These soon faded and were replaced by small lights that flickered across the ocean.

“I’m curious what the Sage Experience is going to be like,” I said hesitantly.

“It will be good for you to do the seminar without me,” grinned Michael mischievously.

“You’re not doing the seminar with me!” My stomach tightened. I was uncomfortable with the idea of having to face a room full of strangers alone.

“I thought you would get more out of it this way.” Michael placed his hand into mine. “Hey, it’s your birthday! I never pay much attention to my birthdays anymore. That’s probably why I forgot yours.”

We arrived in Santa Barbara where Michael was staying. He unloaded my luggage, while I walked up the orange tile steps that lead to a Spanish-style home. The house was very close to Miramar Beach and I could hear the sound of the waves in the background. “The backyard has a great garden too,” said Michael.

“How did you find this wonderful place?”

“That’s the way life goes for me,” said Michael. “You send out the thought of what you want and let the Universe take care of the rest.”

After settling into what would be my home for the week, Michael took me on a tour of downtown Santa Barbara. The white stucco buildings with red brick roofs gave the town the flair of a Spanish village. “It’s very beautiful here,” I sighed while taking in the sights.

We went into a Japanese restaurant where Michael’s friend Tony was waiting for us. “Thank goodness you’re here,” said Tony. “I’m just starving and I was about to start without you.”

“The food here is great,” said Michael. He suggested that we share an entree filled with a variety of seafood. “I hope you know that sushi is raw fish.”

“Really?” I asked with disbelief. “If you can stomach the stuff, then so can I.” My trip was definitely going to be one of new experiences.

“There are wonderful places to explore around Santa Barbara. You will have to stop by my crystal shop too,” said Tony. He owned a store that carried quartz crystals from all over the world.

The waitress brought our soup and a plate full of raw seafood. My stomach began to churn with disgust, as I saw what resembled a few pieces of thinly sliced fish from the supermarket meat section. Prawns, squid and red snapper looked different when cooked!

“Go ahead and try one,” Michael prodded with a grin. “It’s good with a little horseradish.”

Reluctantly, I popped a prawn into my mouth. “It’s good!” I said in amazement. The three of us greedily devoured our meal without any misgivings about the fact we were eating raw fish.

We drove back to Miramar around midnight. Before retiring for the night, I decided to take a shower. It had been a long day, and I was tired. The warm water felt marvelous as it rolled down my body.

Michael was in the living room sitting in front of the fireplace. “Where would you like me to sleep?” I asked as I towel dried my hair.

“You can sleep in my room.” These words brought a ray of hope. I wondered if Michael would remember what I had asked months previously.

Silence filled the house as I waited for what seemed like an endless period of time. Michael finally climbed into bed and he snuggled very close to me. Michael had remembered my request. My past relationships with men had been traumatic experiences. Michael understood my fears and he respected them. He became the first man that I could trust completely.

The next morning, Michael and I went for a drive into the hills where a Buddhist temple was located. The view of the surrounding area was absolutely stunning. The countryside was green and alive with vibrant rainbow color. Mountains stretched across the horizon behind the temple and the ocean lay before us, way down below.

As we viewed this gorgeous scene that surrounded us, I felt an incredible unity with Michael. For a brief moment, I lost myself in Michael’s soul and it felt like I became him. It was a feeling beyond the description of words or my understanding. A strange look came over Michael’s face. I wondered if he had also experienced the unusual connection. “What are you thinking about?” asked Michael.

“Nothing really,” I replied, avoiding the question. I still wondered what had taken place.

Michael stretched his arms above his head. “I was planning on doing some type of exercise every day when I first arrived here. I haven’t found the motivation to do it yet,” said Michael as he watched a woman running down a path.

“The key is discipline,” I said. “But when I force myself to do something, the result is frustration. I want things to happen easily and naturally.”

“All we really have to do is stop believing that our goals are difficult to achieve,” said Michael.

“That makes sense.” However, was it that easy? A balance was needed between discipline and spontaneity.

“Children’s lives are about play and cherishing the simple joys of life. Adults need to learn from this example and take more time for things like this.” Michael sat on a wide railing, and swung his legs back and forth like a five-year-old.

“I want to spend more time having fun, but fears seem to get in the way. A few weeks ago, I went through a phase of being afraid to leave the house. That’s never happened to me before.”

“I went through the same thing a few weeks ago,” said Michael.

“You mean we were experiencing the same fear at the same time?” I asked.

“That’s interesting,” said Michael.

I looked out across the water and sighed. “Why can’t life be this much fun all the time?”

“It can be, Wendy. It can be.”

We entered the doors to the temple and quietly took a seat near the back. A woman was at the altar doing a ceremony. We watched closely as she completed the ancient ritual. The altar was finished in gold and was very elaborate in comparison to the simplicity of the room.

Silence and peace permeated the space, allowing me to hear my heart beat. Energy began to move up my spine at an amazing rate. I wondered why I felt this energy with such intensity when I was near Michael.

I closed my eyes and began to visualize a white light surrounding my body. There were books written about people with cancer helping themselves through visualization techniques. A temple seemed like a good place to do a meditation for healing.

My thoughts began to drift as I pondered over life’s mysteries. I wanted to know more about God, not from a doctrine point of view, but from the knowledge that was within me. It was my belief that the different religions had the same basic message of love. Love was the key to all knowledge and harmony. It saddened me when people separated themselves from others because their beliefs were not the same.

Beside the temple, there was a quaint little bookstore where the smell of sandalwood incense filled the air. “These books are about Eastern philosophy and reincarnation,” said Michael. Reincarnation was the belief that we have lived many previous lives for experience and learning.

“Do you think I have known you in another life?” I asked curiously.

“Probably,” said Michael as he glanced at his watch. It seemed like he was avoiding another one of my questions. “I told Tony that we would stop by this afternoon. Is that alright with you?”

“Sure. As long as I have time to eat dinner before Sage.”

Tony was in the kitchen standing on a ladder when we arrived. “You two can help me paint,” said Tony.

“I don’t have time,” said Michael, to my relief.

“Oh, sure you do,” insisted Tony.

“We have to pick up some groceries for dinner and then I’m dropping Wendy off at the community center. It’s the first night of Sage,” said Michael. These words made my muscles tighten.

“I’m going to a seminar in San Francisco next weekend. You should do it too,” said Tony as he looked at me. “Dan Millman will be a guest speaker.” I was interested in seeing this author because I had talked to him on the phone. There were many authors with whom I had corresponded. It had been a part of my quest for healing.

“I’ll have to give this seminar some thought. I’d like to meet Dan Millman,” I said as Michael and I headed toward the door. In Tony’s hall entrance, I noticed a large picture of a man with curly black hair.

“That is a picture of Sai Baba,” said Michael. He explained that Tony had been to India to see this Divine person. I was not fully paying attention to what Michael was saying because my thoughts were focused on getting to the Sage Experience on time, but Sai Baba would soon become an important part of my life.

As the evening sun faded, Michael drove me to the community center. A large crowd of people had gathered for the seminar. It was apparent that everyone had signed up for Sage with at least one friend. I only knew Michael, and he would soon be leaving. “This isn’t easy for me,” I said with a quiet voice.

“You’ll be fine. I’ll see you around midnight.” Michael embraced me. I felt like a little kid who did not want to let go of her Mommy. I could confidently teach a class of College students how to dance, but mingling with a crowd in a social environment was incredibly difficult.

The crowd made its way into the community center to begin the seminar. We worked on what was called processes for the rest of the evening. Each one was a tool for dealing with buried emotions.

When midnight arrived, I was happy to see the face of my dear friend. I felt empty and confused as Michael drove me home. I knew that I was looking for something inside myself, but I still did not know what it was. All I knew was that I was searching.

“Why don’t you take a hot bath by candlelight? It’s a great way to relax. I’ll make you some tea,” said Michael as we entered his house. He seemed to sense my frustration.

The candle flickered as I leaned back into the water. My mind was swimming with thoughts. Was it true that someone had been healed of cancer when Michael was at the last Sage Experience? Would Sage help me to release myself from the bondage of illness? Did anyone know what life was about? I sipped on a hot cup of herbal tea and thought about the answers.

Saturday and Sunday felt like two of the longest days of my life. I was beyond exhaustion from doing psychological processes at eight in the morning until long after midnight. It was believed that when a person became that tired, defense mechanisms disappeared. The walls would come down and a person could reach emotions that were not at the surface level of awareness.

I enjoyed the love and support of the group, but I could not find any emotions that were hidden inside me. There would be people crying as they discovered their pain, while I felt like I was missing something. If I was acting out a particular emotion like anger, it was only drama.

Sage had helped many people. I could see this by their glowing faces. They had obviously released major emotional burdens, and, as a result, they were experiencing a state of bliss. I pretended to be happy, but I felt disappointed.

Tony’s voice echoed in my mind. “You only get what you put into it.” I had tried to put my heart into it, but much of my attention had been placed on trying to stay awake. My kidneys were aching and I felt weak.

Michael came into the community center with curiosity written all over his face. My body was shaking with exhaustion and I was relieved to see him. I silently followed Michael out to the van. “What did you think?” asked Michael as we drove down the street.

It took me a long time to answer. “I’m not sure.”

“When I did Sage, the important thing for me was the unconditional love and support that I experienced.”

“Yes, unconditional love was definitely a part of the Sage experience,” I said grinning.

“Would you like to walk along the beach?” asked Michael, as we pulled into the driveway of his house.

“That sounds like a marvelous idea. I need to release the stress from today. Some fresh air would be great.” I slipped on my running shoes and we walked down the steps to the beach. I could hear the sound of the waves becoming louder. The last step to the beach was very high. Michael jumped down first and then he reached out his arms to help me. He gently lowered me onto the sand.

We strolled along the beach, sharing ideas and dreams. Michael had many interests and aspirations. “I want to make sculptures out of crystals,” said Michael. “I feel more alive when I’m using my creative energies.”

“I guess that’s why I receive so much pleasure from dancing,” I said.

Michael and I followed a path that lead to a garden with a large sculpture that was shaped like the letter M. A mysterious glow emanated from it, as the incandescent floodlights shone from below. “That’s wild,” said Michael. “I’ve never seen this place and we were just talking about sculptures.”

“It’s the first letter of your name and mine too if we turned it upside down. Neat coincidence.”

“Nothing happens by coincidence,” Michael reminded me.

The Biltmore Hotel was around the corner. We found a magnificent garden with arching trellises. Each was covered with colorful sweet-smelling flowers. “This reminds me of a garden in Singapore. Maybe one day I’ll show it to you.” The thought of traveling with Michael was exciting.

We stood before two French doors that lead to the hotel restaurant. There were beautiful plants inside and tables set with a flare of elegance. “I don’t believe it, Michael! This is the same scene from one of the dreams I had about you.” I described the details of the dream as Michael listened with interest.

“Your dreams can be intriguing,” said Michael.

“Yes, they often tell me about the future.”

“Did you gain any insights from Sage?” asked Michael as we began to walk home.

“Not really. I’m feeling a little frustrated over it. I want answers and I want them now.”

“Would you like to see a channeler tomorrow?” asked Michael. “I’ve made an appointment. Maybe you can find answers to why this health stuff is happening.”

The curious side of me wanted to go, while the skeptical side questioned whether it was a waste of money. “This trip has been about new experiences. I might as well include channeling into my repertoire.”

“Verna will be doing our channeling. She is an associate of the man who channeled on Shirley MacLaine’s movie, Out on a Limb,” said Michael. I wondered if Michael was correct about Verna being associated with Kevin Ryerson. The idea of this was comforting because Kevin was well known for his work. “They say it is difficult to get an appointment with Kevin since the movie. He’s booked solid.”