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PART III

Experiencing God and Victory

“For we are his workmanship,

created in Christ Jesus

for good works,

which God prepared beforehand,

that we should walk in them.”…

“and you will know the truth,

and the truth will set you free.”

(Ephesians 2:10 & John 8:32 ESV)

Okay, friends and family. Let’s Praise God for what He’s been doing the last ten years and what Kelly and I have been blessed to be a part of:

“The steps of a man are established by the Lord,

when he delights in his way.” (Psalms 37:23 ESV)

The Bait and the Hook

You know, just because we, as sinners, seek God and ask for forgiveness, invite God into our heart and life, and choose to become children of God, that doesn’t mean, the enemy, who has been the monkey on our shoulder, just goes away and leaves us alone. Oh no, not so! He is ever-present to find situations in which to tell us lies; lies that sound so perfectly logical to our reasoning and thinking. Even today, I continue to seek counsel and encouragement from mentors God has put in my life.

So here I was ten years ago…Me, Donnie Foster, a new child who had been born by redemption into God’s family by the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. My heart was new but I was still in the old flesh and Satan knew well the weakest parts of my flesh. When I gave my heart and life to Jesus, Satan lost a warrior in his infantry of evil and wasn’t taking it too well, “But God”… God’s grace proved to be stronger and purer than any darts Satan hurled at me.

When I finally got clean, Satan lost one of the kingpins in his legion of evil-doers. Satan doesn’t give up a guy like me without a fight. We’d like to think when we change our lives and have something holy and righteous to cling to, he panics and just slithers back into the dark hole, coils up, and mumbles, “Okay.” Oh no! By this time, he’s very familiar with our weak spots and he knows in what areas of sin and disobedience we are most likely to cave and he’s right there dangling the bait like the sinister devil he is. He knows exactly which lies to tell us. My first encounter, after my newfound life in Christ, showed up early one morning and there was the bait: shoved directly into my shirt pocket!

I was at a new chapter of my life, surrounded by godly men and women who mentored me, prayed for me, encouraged me, and held me accountable. I was clean and growing, day by day, by faith in Jesus.

I had a delivery job with an office supply company. I drove a delivery truck and worked 8-12 hours a day. I showed up early for work on this particular morning. It was still dark. The sun was just breaking above the horizon. I parked my vehicle and made my way to the office. I signed in, got my roster and assignments for the day, and headed out to my delivery truck. As I approached my load to be delivered, a co-worker met me on the dock and stuck something in my shirt pocket. “Here, Foster, this will make your day go better.” No other pleasantries were exchanged. He kept walking and so did I.

Well out of sight of anyone, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a fresh marijuana joint. Oh God, no! Satan’s lies began to haunt me as they had done for decades. I heard the same old lies, the same old deceitful thoughts: “It’s just one joint.” “Could just one more really hurt my new image?” I was tormented by the thought that I could smoke it en route to my first delivery and its effects would serve me long into the hours before noon. I toyed with it, looping it through my fingers for a few seconds. “Who would know?” “By the time I got home in the evening, the effects would be worn off and there would be no tell-tale odor of smoldering weed.” “It would definitely be the last one I will ever enjoy.” Lies!

It was the bait of temptation I was fondling! And when the dangling bait, like the slippery, slimy slug on the hook is taken, the hook is planted well into the flesh of the deceived! God’s Word is very plain:

“…But each person is tempted

when he is lured

and enticed by his own desire.

Then desire, when it has conceived,

gives birth to sin,

and sin when it is fully grown

brings forth death.”

(James 1:13-15 ESV)

Take the bait and you’ll be just like the gullible fish flopping on the rocks on the shore, suffocating through his own enticement, and led away to a destructive delusion. Why? Because he was seduced by something the flesh enjoys for a brief period and, just like that floundering fish, he takes the bait for a brief moment of self-satisfaction of the flesh.

The Holy Spirit of God welled up inside me, trying to suffocate the desire to just once more yield to one of the things that I lived for, to give myself pleasure for so many years, and weed was the hardest for me to give up. Satan had slithered back across my shoulders in an attempt to make me fall, to lose my footing on the solid rock of ages. I was being allowed to be put to the test.

I recognized it! Yes, I toyed with the temptation through the weakness of the flesh, but now I had a new power, an unnatural power; a power not within the heart or mind of natural man. I clutched the joint in my sweaty palm, turned, and walked back into the office where I knew my co-worker was finishing up his paperwork. I stomped up to him and said, “Hey!” I crushed the joint in front of him and let it fall on the desk and said, “This was the old Donnie. The new Donnie doesn’t need this anymore” and I turned and walked out.

Friends, my feet felt as though they barely touched the concrete beneath me because there was so much joy and power in my heart. I felt the power of victory by the power of God alive in me. Yes, there is power in the blood…in the precious blood of the lamb that washed my heart clean. My heart sang it:

“Would you be free from the burden of sin?

There’s power in the blood, power in the blood.

Would you o’er evil a victory win?

There’s wonderful power in the blood.”

(Lewis F. Jones 1899)

One thing I teach the guys I’m mentoring. Your character is very important. Character is who you are when you’re all alone. All alone…that’s who you are.

They Call Me “CBP”

All Things Becoming New

Soon after the release of Face Down in 2009, opportunities were beginning to come my way. I frequently had the privilege of sharing my testimony with several men’s groups. Pastors around the area also gave me the pleasure of sharing my story of sweet deliverance from their pulpits. I could feel the power I know Moses felt when God said, “I will help

I definitely was not a speaker but I figured if God could use a donkey to speak to Balaam, he could certainly use this donkey to speak!!! (Read the account. It’s great. Numbers Chapter 22.)

I could feel the grace of God bless my words as God anointed my tongue and I learned to share – not from my head – but from my heart.

One thing I learned real quick was that I couldn’t speak about my God without getting choked up. I always felt like such a spectacle! As soon as I started to speak, God would touch my heart and the tears would start and they flowed freely. It was nearly impossible for me to share without becoming a blubbering idiot for Jesus!

It was so awesome. I loved being looked at as a fool for Jesus! I love being looked at as a spectacle as the Apostle Paul described when he said, “For it seems to me that God has displayed us apostles at the end of the procession, like prisoners appointed for death. We have become a spectacle to the whole world, to angels as well as to men. We are fools for Christ.” (I Corinthians 4:9-10 NIV). I love that! What an honor! I lived my whole life being a lost fool for Satan, which led to my death and destruction, but Jesus snatched me out of that pit and now I am a redeemed fool for Jesus that leads to eternal life!! I am a hope-filled fool, unashamed of my beautiful Lord and Savior! I embraced every opportunity! My kids call me a CBP – Cry Baby Preacher!! Isn’t that awesome! I love it!

“For the message of the Cross is foolishness

to those who are perishing,

but to us who are being saved

it is the power of God. For it is written:

‘I will destroy the wisdom of the wise,

And bring to nothing

the understanding of the prudent.’

Where is the wise?

Where is the scribe?

Where is the disputer of this age?

Has not God made foolish

the wisdom of this world?”

(I Corinthians 1:18-20 NKJV)

Learning, Learning and Learning to “Watch”

Power-washing…On A Horizontal Level!

Yes, I’d been making daily office deliveries for about four years as an independent contractor. I owned my own box truck and Gus, one of the customers I delivered to on a regular basis, was a mechanic but, he was running a power-washing business out of his garage on the side. He also was the man to whom I took my old box truck for repairs or servicing when needed. From time to time he’d say, “Foster, you need to buy this power-washing business. I’m getting too old for this and I’m ready to sell it.”

“Thanks, but no thanks, Gus. I’m good right where I am,” was always my reply. Little did I know that God was working behind the scenes, ordering my steps toward another chapter in my life.

From time to time, there were contract reviews and business upgrades in the office supply company. One huge change they made was to no longer reimburse the independent contractor for fuel expenses. I wasn’t real happy about that. Kelly and I were barely making ends meet as it was. I couldn’t afford to foot the enormous gas bill my box truck would acquire every month. I began to reconsider my position and talk with people about the possibility of changing jobs. I didn’t think it was right for fuel expenses to fall on the independent driver.

I called Gary. Gary is a dear friend and Christian brother and mentor. I sought his insight into the idea of finding a different job. And then I brought up the possibility of buying this power-washing company that Gus had been offering me. It sounded like it was something not only I could benefit from, but it could benefit others less fortunate than I.

Interjection….

[By this time, my son Cam and I had already begun a Sunday evening street ministry with the homeless (I will talk about that later when I talk about the MISFITS). Cam and I were out every Sunday evening with McDonald’s cheeseburgers, offering homeless citizens a hand up to have a better and purposeful life. I was looking for a way to further assist some of these guys on the street other than just offering them a Sunday evening cheeseburger. My heart’s desire was to give them a hand up; not a handout. I wanted to help find work and purpose for them. This power-washing opportunity seemed to be the ideal solution. If I could acquire the business, I could hire them and offer them a ‘hand up’ in the reconstruction of their lives. It seemed perfect.]

With the opportunity to have my own business on the horizon, it seemed strange but, as Gary helped us move through the preparation of this new venture, I began to realize just how God was taking this full circle: Gary seemed interested in helping us with the power-washing business, first giving me a hand up so I could, in turn, offer a hand up to those in need: Fort Wayne’s homeless. The next thing I knew, Gary and I were into serious conversations about this offer and Kelly and I were in serious prayer about making this change. Within six months Gary offered me a “hand up” to purchase the power-washing business. It seemed that God was moving toward that goal so I decided to leave my job as an office supply driver. But not just yet. God had one more run for me to make.

Crystal Blue

I was on my way to make an office delivery on one of the main thoroughfares that run through the north side of Fort Wayne. Just as I crossed the bridge over Highway 69, a motorcyclist up ahead began to lose control of his bike. The rider on the back of the bike was thrown from the bike and her body went airborne and slammed up against another truck. I stopped immediately and ran to the young woman, who lay motionless on the street. I checked for pulse and respiration but found none so, I began to perform CPR on her. For every CPR press, I prayed over her, praying…praying…“Please, God, please!” Soon she started to come back and she opened her eyes. They were the most beautiful crystal blue eyes I’d ever seen but a peaceful soul was not reflected in them. I was concerned for her soul. I was sure her neck was broken. Trying to cradle her head and keep her conscious I started talking to her.

“Miss…miss…listen to me. C’mon! Stay with me here! Do you know Jesus? Do you want to know Jesus? Listen to me! Jesus! Do you want to know him? If you want to know Jesus, blink your eyes for me.”

She gave me a deliberate blink and I began to pray. Until the EMTs arrived, I prayed over her and talked to her about Jesus and how much He loved her. I assured her the blink of her eyes spoke her desire for an answer to His knock on the door of her heart. I assured her He looked into her heart and knew she was asking Him to come in. Between reassuring, I would pray.

I heard the sirens of the medics getting close, so I just continued to pray and say, “Jesus loves you! Jesus loves you!” After the medics drove away with her, I continued to pray.

Later, I was able to connect with her father and I went to the hospital to see her. I was told she had passed away but I had the joy of telling her father that his daughter had died with Jesus in her heart and she was now with Him. God be praised!

But I knew it was time to sell the box truck and move on. I laid my resignation on my boss’s desk and walked away for the last time.

Okay…now I really needed to talk to Gary. Sometime later I was on my phone!

“Gary. I just quit my job and Kelly and I are interested in purchasing that power-washing opportunity if you’re still willing to help us.” There was a brief silence on the line and Gary finally responded with, “Well, Donnie, sometimes God throws you a curveball, but you can hit it anyway!” and just like that, Kelly and I became the owners of Allwork Pressure Cleaning, our own power-washing business. Thank you, Jesus!

This was perfect. God put it together…of course, it was perfect! Once again, God used what I thought was a negative disturbance in my life and turned it into a blessing! I hired guys who needed that hand up…that second chance at life…that encouraging shove to make a living for themselves in an effort to get off the streets. Some of the guys I hired had families. So the “hand up” plan went full circle. I was given a “hand up” by a friend and Christian brother who offered to help me purchase this business so we, in turn, could offer a hand up to men desiring to turn their lives around. God’s wheel of provision runs full circle to accomplish his will…every time!

In addition to this big old power-washing truck, the business package came with its own list of customers and clientele. All we needed to do was establish a working relationship with them. I did the work and Kelly put it all together behind the scenes. We worked the power-washing business for six years.

At the six-year mark, God would once again show me his sovereignty through difficulties. God allowed me to be removed from the power-washing business through a serious injury. During those six years, the business was proving itself successful from a business point of view but…be careful… Satan was lurking in the trenches, setting me up for a major spiritual attack and he used an on-the-job injury.

“…Though he fall,

he shall not be utterly cast down:

for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.”

(Psalm 37:24 KJV)

The Injury

One thing we can be sure of. When we become too content with our life, the best way God uses to get our attention is to interfere with our comfort. God is always one up on the enemy of this world and God saw it coming. If the enemy can’t trap you one way, he’ll try another. It was in that sixth year of power-washing that God allowed Satan to test me through an on-the-job accident. So basically, God directed me into the business but when His time was right, He directed me out of the business, and because of it, I became a stronger man in my Christian walk and more prepared to stand beside young men who needed an advocate in the courtrooms. Jesus never fails! This is how it happened.

As is the enemy’s sinister way, he always attacks us where he knows we are the weakest and the flesh is the most vulnerable. “But…God”…God has ten thousand-plus servants to defeat the enemy’s onslaughts of attack. Hence the whole armor of God is to be worn.

“Put on the whole armour of God,

that ye may be able to stand

against the wiles of the devil.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood,

but against principalities, against powers,

against the rulers of the darkness of this world,

against spiritual wickedness in high places…

Praying always

with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit,

and watching thereunto

with all perseverance and supplication for all saints…”

(Ephesians 6:11-18 KJV)

Watching…watch for it…watch “with perseverance and supplication….” I learned what it meant “to watch” for the powers of darkness that try to pierce the armor of God. I almost missed it.

I was power-washing the parking lot of a business late one night when I took a dreadful fall. My hips and my spine were already seriously injured from a ladder fall years before. At the time of the fall, I received prosthetic hip replacements. This time when I hit the concrete I again did serious injury to my hips. That fall resurrected those old back and hip problems and the pain became excruciating.

Within 24 hours, I was sitting in the office of a pain management physician. His quick evaluation determined that I just needed time to heal and pain meds to ease my discomfort. I explained my work to this physician and told him that I needed to be able to carry on with my workload. Power-washing is hard work and requires strength and stamina of body. He was quick to write the prescription I needed. By this time, the demons of hell were snickering in the shadows of what was to come.

You see, this wasn’t just any pain management doctor. The enemy knew just who should be assigned to my case and here’s why: several years after my encounter with this physician, his name made all the state and local headlines. He was arrested for over-prescribing pain medications to patients, several resulting in death. Because I was an addict, Satan knew my weakness and he was setting me up for a huge, over-the-top crash! If he couldn’t make me fall for another marijuana joint in my pocket…he would try in a more subtle approach…catch me off guard…trap me without me knowing I was being trapped with something a little heavier than weed.

Get that armor on and…watch “with perseverance and supplication”!

You know, there is an account in the Old Testament when Satan thought he was powerful enough to attack one of God’s children and turn his struggling life against the principals and oracles of God, so he went before God. “The Lord said to Satan, ‘Where have you come from?’ Satan answered the Lord, ‘Oh, just roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.’ Then the Lord said to Satan, ‘Have you considered my servant Job?’” God knew what Satan was up to…looking to destroy someone’s faith in God.

Folks, that is the way Satan works. The Word says, “He roams to and fro, seeking whom he may devour.” (I Peter 5:8 NIV) In this instance concerning Job, Satan directly asked God, “Would Job worship you if he got nothing out of it? You have always protected him and his family…You bless everything he does… But now suppose you take away everything he has—he will curse you to your face!”

“All right,” the Lord said to Satan, “everything he has is in your power, but you must not hurt Job himself.”

I envision myself with power-washing wand in hand and Satan approaches God and says, “See that Foster guy, down there? I know his weakness. How about I challenge him and he’ll relapse and fall back into drugs and I won’t even have to tempt him?” Sinister and devious, Satan set out to challenge my heart, but God was still in control and when it was all said and done, God’s will embarrassed the enemy because God used it for His glory! Amen! Here’s the way it happened:

God is never taken by surprise by anything. Never! In the same breath, let me say that, when He finds you strong enough to withstand the enemy’s attacks, He will make a way of escape and walk you through every stage if you keep your eyes on Him!

“All you need to remember is that God will never let you down;

he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit;

he’ll always be there to help you come through it.”

(I Corinthians 10:13 MSG)

I took the pain meds as prescribed by the attending physician but, as often happens, the body eventually becomes tolerant of their effects so you need something stronger. The meds were keeping the pain at a minimum, which allowed me to continue working every day but the dosages were getting stronger.

What was really happening here? I had absolutely no desire to return to my old way of life. At first, I didn’t even consider that relapse might be happening. I was happy, blessed, and growing in Jesus but the subtlety of Satan’s attacks is often not evident until it’s too late.

Popping pain meds became BAIT! Dependency! Lies! I was beginning to believe all those old lies Satan told me for years “…you need these pain pills to keep working…you can’t do the work without them…these are legally prescribed meds to help you…These pills are managing your pain, keeping it a tolerable level…It’s okay!… You have to keep going, Donnie!”

All we had to do was call the doctor’s office to tell him the pills weren’t working anymore and he would increase the strength or give me something new. At one point, I was on five different prescriptions for pain and the dosages were very high. “But God”…praise God! He showed me “how to watch” for the attacks of spiritual wickedness. Both Kelly’s and my eyes were opened and we saw the handwriting on the wall…I came to the realization I was unintentionally heading back down into the pit and it was happening without my attention! You can’t slow down a downward spiral. You’ve got to get out of the vortex!

Dear reader, please understand, on the level of conscious addiction, I had absolutely no fleshly desire to go back into that lifestyle. The realization of it happening scared me! I was simply trying to keep going and keep up the integrity of my business and my work ethic, but I was being sucked into doing it Satan’s way!

”But God”…one day, once again, God said, “Enough.” Praise His Name, he opened my and Kelly’s blinded eyes. We realized what was happening. I still needed help for the pain to do my job so, at one point, we tried to be in better control of the meds. We decided Kelly was to be in charge of my pain meds; to keep them under lock and key and I was no longer free to take them as needed. It worked but it didn’t work. Doing it the right way wasn’t masking the pain. I needed help.

By this time my body was depending on the pain meds both physically and mentally. Because of the pain, I was justifying the use of the opioids since they were allowing me to carry on with my business and do all the other things I had been doing…good things…things with my family and service for the Lord. The attack was so devious and sinister, we almost missed it. I called my long-time counselor and mentor, Wyatt, and said, “Wyatt, I can’t do this anymore. I’m losing and I need help.”

I still had the business to run and still had to make a living for my family, so I continued working. It was no longer just my back and hips hurting. Satan wasn’t satisfied that his plan for a fall in the parking lot didn’t work so he set me up for another injury. This time it was in a restroom of one of the fast-food eateries in town. I was power-washing one of the restrooms after hours, so the floor and my shoes were wet and greasy. My feet went out from under me and I struck my neck against a steel door frame.

Now I was struggling with severe pain and the fall resulted in fractured vertebrae in my neck. I was pulling and lugging 200 feet of high-power pressure hose so, of course, the pain in my neck was intensified.

I continued with meds but this time it was under a very controlled program. With the neck injury, I now had a new medical team of neurological physicians. After several trials with different meds, braces, etc., they finally decided to fuse the injury in my neck but I was still experiencing severe discomfort in my hips and back, so I was still using pain medications under more attentive supervision. “But God”…yes, but God also turned this into a gift and a blessing! Praise Him! Here’s how he did it! Once again God laid to shame the demons of hell.

After the fusion in my neck, I was sitting at home recovering and watching television one day, when I saw a commercial that said, “Detox in the comfort of your own home.” I copied down the contact information and made the call. The help came from a northeastern Indiana opiate treatment center.

I made the call and told them my story. Yes, they could definitely help me but I had to be opioid-free for seventy-two hours before they could do anything. Seventy-two hours…three days with no pain meds and a healing neck fusion! Could I do that?

I knew I couldn’t do it and still continue working. I told Kelly to pray and I went upstairs to my bedroom and locked the door. I did not come out for three days. It was a horrible three days of intense pain as well as the withdrawal backlash.

Three days with no pain meds. My desire to return to my old lifestyle still scared me to think of it so I knew God was in this and relapse never became an issue. I reached out for assistance from a reputable physician to help with the withdrawal but every day I consciously fought against it, struggling to do what had to be done.

Now friends, I truly believe all this was a prelude to Satan’s orchestration to get me to return to the point of full-blown addiction to opioids. “But God.”… Praise the Lord for those words. God released ten thousand-plus servants to quench all the fiery darts of the evil one. For three days, God sat by me while I was in cold-turkey detox. I was in bed, shaking, vomiting, sweating, losing muscle control, suffering from insomnia…it was a horrible three days.

At the end of the three-day withdrawal, I awoke from the first restful sleep I had. I sat up and felt I had the victory; My body was calm, no more shaking and sweating, and I had slept my first calm sleep in days. I knew my body was finally cleansed of the drugs because, of all things, I wanted a burrito! Victory! I went downstairs and asked Kelly to please go get me a burrito. I was clean! Doesn’t everyone celebrate with a burrito?

I kept the appointment with the opioid treatment center. I again shared my story and also left them a copy of my book. They were eager to help by offering me what they called “comfort meds.” I accepted them through the withdrawal period because I was eager to receive my first injection of a comfort med called Vivitrol.

It was only then that I learned the reason for the seventy-two-hour drug-free requirement. The reason I had to be opioid-free for three days was that, if there were still any opioids at all in my system, the first shot of Vivitrol could be fatal. After I tested opioid-free, the shot was administered. My experience with Vivitrol was another anointed blessing from God.

Vivitrol works in the brain and interferes with the craving for opioids. It works like a manhole cover by blocking opioid receptors in the brain, thus helping patients to prevent a dangerous return to opioid dependence and desire. Also, once the shot is given, if opioids are taken, there would be no high or euphoric reaction from the drug. One injection works for 21-30 days, after which you can receive another injection. If I needed help from day twenty-one to day 30, there were oral options for those few days.

I stayed on the Vivitrol treatment for approximately 6 months and came away with no cravings or desire for opioids or any chemically produced pain medications. My neck continued to heal from the fusion. I still dealt with pain but I refused to take anything for it. I totally gave it over to God and I felt God’s touch on my body. Since then, I have resorted to using homeopathic countermeasures and trust the rest to God. The biggest help was God removing me from the power-washing work and, through His grace, my problems have been minimized and are tolerable.

The enemy lost again! Thank you, Jesus!

After I could no longer work with the injuries, I sold the power-washing business to Tiso, one of my guys who accepted my hand up to him with a job. He’s still running the business today.

Again, God was directing my steps through this struggle. Here again, God’s timing is perfect for all things. Had I not been a victim of Satan’s attack, I would not have known anything about Vivitrol.

It was shortly after my Vivitrol treatments that I started working as a court advocate for guys arrested for drug charges. Having experienced success with Vivitrol, I could faithfully promote its use. Once again, I could speak from experience! I knew it worked and I became a very vocal spokesperson with testimony before judges in the court system for this treatment of opioid addiction instead of incarcerating the user. Incarceration for opioid dependency does not work but Vivitrol does. Do you see how God is always one up on Satan? I hope Satan and his demons were royally embarrassed by how God, once again, turned his attack into something positive and glorifying to his Deity! Nothing gets by God!

I do praise the name of my Most Holy God. Because you see, dear reader, through this experience…once again, Satan meant it for harm, to try to destroy my testimony but the sovereignty and righteousness of God allowed it for GOOD!

Just a thought: God spent four chapters in the book of Job asking Job questions Job could not answer. So, who are we to second guess what God allows in our lives? We are here for his purpose and his alone! Like Job, more and more I was learning first-hand that God holds everything in my life. It wasn’t my well-planned steps to reach this point. God directed my steps to bring me to this point, letting me learn more and more about who He is and His trustworthiness.

My finding this treatment center was totally because of the Lord. It scared me to death to think I might return to my old life habits. I knew I did not ever again want that so I praise my merciful God for showing me what was happening and thus thwarting Satan’s attack on my flesh. I sing it to the glory of God!

There is Victory in Jesus! My Savior forever!

(Hymn by E.M. Bartlett © 1939)