Читать книгу Are You the One for Me? - Barbara Angelis De - Страница 7

Falling in love is a magical and powerful experience. Each kiss, each conversation, each moment in the beginning seems so right, so perfect. But soon attraction and infatuation become a ‘relationship,’ and we are brought down to earth with the challenging realities of sharing our life with another human being. And as those first enchanted weeks turn into months, one day we find ourselves asking: ‘Is this person right for me?’

If you’ve ever been in a serious relationship, you’ve asked yourself this question—before you made a commitment, before you got married, or, if the relationship didn’t work, before you decided to leave for good.

I used to hear this question every day when I had a radio talk show in Los Angeles. I received more phone calls about this problem than any other.

‘I love my boyfriend, but I’m afraid to make a commitment and marry him. What if I meet someone I love more in a few years? How can I tell if we’re compatible enough?’

‘I’ve been dating a woman for two years, but she has children I don’t get along with. Do you think this relationship can work?’

‘My husband and I argue all the time. He refuses to go to counseling and we hardly ever have sex anymore. I love him and don’t want to hurt the children, but I’m totally miserable How can I be sure it’s really over before I leave?’

‘I’ve just come out of a very painful relationship. I want to find a partner to share my life with, but I’m afraid of getting hurt again How can I tell the next time if I’m with someone who is wrong for me before my heart gets broken?’

I understand the pain and turmoil these people are going through, because I’ve been through it, too. Since my first serious relationship at seventeen, and, until recently, I fell in love without giving serious consideration to whether the person was right for me, let alone whether they loved me enough. Someone showed up, and if he had something lovable about him, I would start a relationship. I’d convince myself he was ‘the one’ only to find out that we were incompatible and watch the relationship fail. Then I would feel sorry for myself and wonder what I was doing wrong.

After too many heartbreaks, I was forced to face the sad truth: In spite of my experience, education, and my intense desire to be happy, I continually chose partners who were not right for me. I was falling in love with the wrong people for the wrong reasons.

I’m happy to say, I’ve spent the past five years of my life learning how to help myself and others make better love choices, and the results have been truly amazing. When it was time to choose a topic for my third book, I knew right away what it would be. My first two books were about how to love; this book is about whom to love. It’s about knowing when someone is right for you, and avoiding those who are wrong. I hope that what you learn in this book will give you the understanding and support you need to create the passionate and fulfilling relationship you deserve.