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AT BILLINGSVILLE

Oct. 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, & 20th

JOSH BILLINGS, REPORTER

Agrikultur iz the mother ov provisions; she iz also the grandmother.

If it want for agricultur, thare wouldn't be enny beans, and if it want for enny beans, thare wouldn't be enny suckertash.

Agrikultur waz fust diskovered by Cain, and has been diskovered since to be an honest way to get a hard living.

Pumpkins owes aul her success tew agrikultur, so duz lettis, and bukwheat.

The Billingsville agrikultural society opened Oct. ten, and waz a powerful success.

The reciepts ov the Agrikultural Fair waz upwards ov $30,000 (if mi memry serves me rite, and i think she duz.)

The Hon. Virgil Bickerstaff, the next agrikultural member ov Congress from our district, sold the agrikultur pools.

FUST DAY

A puss ov ten dollars was trotted for by sucking colts, that had never trotted before for munny.

Thare waz thirteen entries.

Thare waz 60,000 people on the track to witness the rase, (if mi memry serves me rite, and i think she duz.)

The puss was won amid vociferous exclamashuns by a red colt, and the waving ov handkerchiefs, with a strip in his face, and the fainting ov several fust-class females, and one white foot behind.

SEKOND DAY

It rained like a perpendikular aul day, and no trotting could be had, so the audience aul went hum, cussing and swaring, and offering tew bet four tew six on the Pete Tucker colt.

THIRD DAY

The sun highsted up in the east more butyfuller than i ever saw her before, (if mi memry serves me rite, and i think she does.)

It waz a fust rate day for agrikultur, or enny other man.

A puss ov 30 dollars waz trotted for, by sum 2 year old colts.

This rase did not attract much affection, on account ov the time being so slow.

Time, 2 minnits and 38 seconds.

FOURTH DAY

This waz fur 3 or 4 years old, who hadn't never beat 2.25.

Thare waz 26 entrys; they couldn't aul trot tew once, so they took turns.

This rase waz won after a bitter contest, by Pete Tucker's colt.

He waz immediately offered a thousand dollars and a fust-rate farm, well-stocked, for the colt, by three different agrikultural men, but with a grate deal ov indignant good sense, he skorned to stoop so low.

Pete Tucker, and his whole family, are aul hoss.

FIFTH DAY

It rained agin like thunder and lightning, and the day waz spent in betting on the weight ov hosses.

Sevral good hoss-swops waz also did.

One man swopped two hosses fur one; this struck me as a devilish good thing, but everyboddy else said it waz soft.

At the end ov the fifth day i cum away.

I got so full ov hoss, that ever since when i laff i kant keep from whinnering.

The fare waz kept up for 10 daze, and sum red hot time waz made.

I think 2 minnits and 10 sekunds waz made, (if my memry serves me rite, and i think she duz.)

I forgot tew say that thare was two yoke ov oxens on the ground, beside sevral yokes ov sheep and a pile ov carrots, and some worsted work, but they didn't seem to attrakt enny simpathy.

The people hanker fur pure agrikultural hoss-trots.