Читать книгу Josh Billings on Ice, and Other Things - Billings Josh - Страница 9

The author ov this proverb waz either a very shrude man, or he acksidentily spoke what he didn't think.

Honesta iz, in mi opinyun, a mere matter ov polisy.

Man iz, waz, and alwus will be, a dishonest critter by natur.

It iz az natral for him tew steal when he wants tew, az it iz tew blo hiz noze.

In order tew git sosiety into decent shape, so that the masheen could be run without a continual bust, it waz absolutely necessary that man should make himself honest.

If that hadn't hav bin did, it wouldn't hav bin safe tew leave a saw-mill out of doors after dark. Hence honesta bekum a matter ov polisy, and it works well.

The fear ov the law here, and the law hereafter, haz furnished us sum very clever specimens of Christianity.

Serpoze thare waz no law agin 2 wives, how menny men iz thare in yure naberhood, that wouldn't sustain the law?

I hav thought that aul the virtues, and aul the affekskuns, (except the few which are instinkts, and which we and the dogs have just about alike,) are mere opprashuns of polisy.

Ov course the virtews improve by hoeing, and mankind haz bekum better, just az they hav bekum richer, by keeping their munny and morals at 10 per cent. interest.

Menny folks are down on luxurys, and plum puddin, but i aint; the more puddin folks hav, the more they will develop.

Stop the hanker in human natur for any more plum puddin, and nu bonnets, and in about 450 years, men and wimmin would all go tew grass, az Nebucunesser did.

Once more, honesta and virtew, in the lump, are not natral, but matters ov polisy; i may be wrong about this, but if i am, enny boddy else kan git wrong the same way i hav, by asking himself about hiz own human natur.

Human natur iz the same aul over north amerika, except in those places whare they subsist by playing poker, and thare it depends a good deal upon the number of aces in a pack; i hav seen sum packs that had 9 aces in them, upon the principle that 5 aces will beat 4 aces and a king.