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Principle 1: Be Positive The Power of Interpersonal Energy

Our passion for the work we collectively do is electric and contagious

Pre-assessment question: Is your passion for the work you do electric, contagious and attractive?

The human body is a vastly complex electrical system. Your brain sends signals to the heart to keep it pumping, to your lungs to take in oxygen and send it into the bloodstream, your eyes send input to the brain that it “decodes” and interprets. The brain is the center of electrical activity in the body. In fact, the brain creates enough energy at any one time to power a 15-20-watt light bulb!

Almost everything on earth has an electrical system. Quartz crystals emit tiny electrical pulses, which are used to power and regulate wristwatches. A potato creates a small amount of voltage that can power a small electrical device using two dissimilar metals and the juice of the potato.² We are all connected to our surroundings and each other in fundamental and powerful ways. These interpersonal relationships have a profound impact on your energy.

Many people experience being either “drained of energy” or “filled with energy” by others. We associate this energy with the “vibes” being given off, whether good or bad. Many people, regardless of their belief in energy transfer, can attest to a person or group of people “draining” their energy. The fact of the matter is that humans can absorb and emit electrical current, which can have more of an effect than you may imagine. In some cases, it could change the path of one’s day and possibly even one’s life.³

Team Vibes

You know what it’s like when someone comes to work in a great mood and, just through their simple joviality, inspire the entire team to perform better that day!

It’s amazing how much our emotions can affect those around us. Most people who get fired lose their jobs because the boss or co-workers are sick and tired of their attitude and behavior. It has very little to do with their skill set.

Your emotions influence people like ripples in the water. You’ve seen what happens when you drop a stone into calm water. The concentric rings caused by the rock spread out until they reach the shore or disappear, influencing the water all around them; like your emotions influence people around you.

Go to work each day with an attitude that it’s going to be a great day. See how your positive attitude can be a tool when speaking with customers. If you are happy and upbeat with them, they’ll feel more confident in working with you—and you will WOW more customers. Use that positive and contagious energy when interacting with your co-workers, and it has the same ripple effect. You will feel more confident as you see your influence and can create more WOW Experiences for customers and colleagues.

Why does a positive attitude have such a big impact on your ability to create WOW Experiences? Positive attitudes precede positive outcomes. You have the ability to lead your team to win in their value creation.

Practice it. Look for ways and opportunities to share your positive energy with co-workers and customers. Serve customers and your co-workers in unexpected ways without expectation of compensation or recognition. Then, at the end of the day, consider the emotional connections you have created and you’ll likely experience a profound sense of joy and fulfillment.

Why Be Positive?

Imagine that you are shopping for a particular new car at the car dealership. You find one and feel that the car is right. In fact, it’s the one you have always wanted. The price is right, and the timing is right. The stars are aligned for you this time because everything is perfect, except for one little thing. You can’t put your finger on it until the sales guy opens his mouth and then it hits you. It’s the person selling the car. Something is off, but you can’t pinpoint exactly what. What is that feeling? Well, it may the person’s energy. Negative energy, just like positive energy is contagious.

The first principle in the Pattern for Excellence is to Be Positive. When you are positive, you give energy to others; whereas, when you are negative, you take it away. Where positive energy gives, negative energy takes. Of course, many outside forces and circumstances can contribute to or undermine your positive energy source. You want to make sure you’re actively working to keep your attitude positive so that you constantly give energy to others rather than take it. How often do you work on your energy? What physically are you doing to create positive energy? Take a minute to ask yourself these questions, discover the right answers, and begin on the path to more positive attitudes and actions.

An Example from Home

My wife had just picked up my oldest daughter, Bela, from school. Her day at school had not gone so well, and so she found herself in a negative state when she got in the car. An argument ensued, and my wife resolved to phone me once they returned home.

Without a word, she handed the phone over to my daughter as I answered the call. As I said hello, I quickly realized that Bela was on the other end of the phone and was not her usual self. Something mean had been said about her at school. It had pushed a normally happy girl straight to a place of severe negativity. The effect she had on everyone around her, however, was alarming. I asked her if she realized that her attitude was making everyone else feel negative, that it was sapping their energy: “Bela, do you see how your negative energy is contagious? You are feeling down, and it is making you exhausted. And you’re exhausting everyone else around you. Bela, I think you’re a Giver. What I have seen from you is that your positive energy makes other people happy, while negative energy sucks the positive energy right out of others.”

What is most interesting about this event is that Bela had no idea how profoundly her behavior was affecting those around her. Our energy, whether negative or positive, profoundly affects others.

Dispositional Optimism

Dispositional optimism is the general expectation that good, not bad things, will happen. In 1985, two scientists, Michael Scheier and Charles Carver, were seeking to understand the connection between good health and a positive attitude. They created the idea of dispositional optimism. They even created a dispositional optimism scale in an attempt to measure the degree of positivity.

Today, over 30 years later, more than 3,000 scientific studies have used this scale to connect positivity to good health. The Power of Positive Thinking is not junk science. It’s proven science, repeated thousands of times and shows that positive thinking or optimism plays an essential role in your physical health, your success, and your quality of life.

As one researcher, Hans Villarica, reports: “We know why optimists do better than pessimists. The answer lies in the differences between the coping strategies they use. Optimists are problem solvers who try to improve the situation. When they are unable to solve the issue; they’re also more likely than pessimists to accept that reality and move on. Physically, they’re more likely to engage in behaviors that help protect against disease and promote recovery from illness. They’re less likely to smoke, drink, and have poor diets, and more likely to exercise, sleep well, and adhere to rehab programs. Pessimists tend to deny, avoid, and distort problems and to dwell on their negative feelings. It’s easy to see now why pessimists don’t do so well compared to optimists.”⁴

Some life lessons come to us easily—others, not so much. In this chapter, we are looking at our reactions to both external and internal stimuli. I’ll share some of the positive principles that I used to overcome my darkest moments. And, I’ll share some techniques that I have practiced in my journey toward positivity as well as some ideas about how energy can be both given and taken.

Be Electric and Contagious

How would you respond if the people closest to you asked, “What is it about your attitude that is so electric and contagious?” Can you imagine being so powerfully positive that it impacts the disposition of everyone around you?

Consider the happiest person you know. Is their attitude contagious or does it bug you? Socially, would you rather go out to dinner and be with a couple who is constantly bitter towards others or a couple who is happy and enthusiastic about life?

Be careful how you answer; the people with whom you surround yourself help define who you are. Sometimes we tend to limit ourselves when we commit time to the wrong social groups. Some people can become a negative influence and keep us from being our best. Do the people around you help you have a good attitude? On a scale of 1-10, how good? How do you know? Do you know the story about the frog in hot water? If you put a frog in cool water and slowly raise the temperature of the water, the frog doesn’t notice and eventually gets boiled. Sometimes we don’t realize the effect a situation has on us. Don’t be a frog!

I like to think that everyone can have an electric and contagiously positive attitude. Some are born with a greater tendency towards positivity, the rest of us have to work actively at it daily.

Several years ago, when I was new to the world of sales, I was told, “Brigham, you can’t sell.” Can you believe that? The person didn’t know me. He didn’t respect my capacity to become an incredible success, to learn powerful tools and create meaningful relationships with customers. Of course, I disagreed with his assessment of me, but I purposed to devour every sales book I could find. I wanted to leave absolutely no doubt that he was dead wrong. In the end, my work made me a much better salesman, and a more successful businessman.

If that manager were to read this book, he would probably expect me to thank him for providing me with powerful motivation. That might be true, but it’s equally true that I don’t appreciate him. If he had chosen to encourage me, I would venture to say it would have had the same impact but without all of the collateral damage to my confidence and self-worth! Everyone needs positive reinforcement. If he had chosen to be positive and to treat me with dignity, I could have seen him as a mentor and not as someone to avoid.

Positive people always assume the best in others first. It is essential to condition ourselves to look at life in a positive light, not just when it is easy but more importantly, when it is difficult. Keeping a positive attitude gives us the ability to help others gain a positive attitude.

Use the Power of Positive Language

Communicating a positive message about your organization is key to creating a WOW Experience and building your brand. But how is this accomplished over the phone when there are no non-verbal cues for customers?

Here are six simple tips for using the power of positive language when communicating on the phone.

1 Use their name. Using a customer’s name is the first way to create a connection. Ask for it early, and include it naturally in the conversation—but don’t abuse it. Don’t be afraid to ask the customer how to pronounce it and spell it. Your callers will value this personal touch. If you need to, write it down.

2 Be sincere. Customers know when you aren’t genuine—they can hear it in your words and tone of voice. Start the conversation by identifying yourself, your company and your purpose. Giving customers this basic information and telling them what you’ll provide helps to put them at ease right from the start. Sincerity engenders a feeling of authenticity which allows the customer a feeling of freedom to explain their situation and ask questions unhindered.

3 Answer questions. Once the tone is set for the conversation, give the caller answers using positive language. Using phrases such as “I can’t do that,” “ I don’t know,” and “just a second” frustrates callers; instead, focus in on how you can help by stating what you can do. Answering questions sincerely and positively builds patience, calms angry callers and helps turn them into satisfied customers.

4 Speak clearly. If you’ve spoken on the phone with a CSR who is mumbling or difficult to understand, you know how frustrating and tense that is. Focus on speaking clearly, using simple words and phrases which make constructive problem solving easier for both parties. Avoid jargon that is complicated and which only people within the company understand.

5 Project a positive attitude. Smile when you answer the phone. It will connect you with the caller. Slow down your rate of speech and vary your inflection to communicate your interest. A natural, enthusiastic, and attentive attitude helps customers feel

6 comfortable. Always be aware of how your rate of speech, pitch and overall tone affects the call.

7 WOW the customer. Leaving the customer more than satisfied is the best way to create a WOW Experience. Following the Pattern for Excellence enables you to connect with customers, anticipate their needs and WOW them.

Stop Negative Speech and Behavior

There’s far more to this sage advice than simply being nice. Being positive is a state of mind that requires action with our body; it requires you to do something physical, not just mental. It is easier to be positive when life is going well, but it’s an entirely different matter when life isn’t necessarily going your way. At those points, positivity can be hard to find. Negativity, however, seems easier to find and embrace if you do not prepare for its inevitable occurrence.

Consider the last time you had to interact with a glass-half-empty kind of person. “Glass half empty” is probably putting it lightly. What about the last time you spoke to a person who was being so negative that it began to make you feel negative? I’m betting it wasn’t very long ago. Why do negative people ruffle our feathers? I find that the ripple effect that comes from one negative attitude can be incredibly damaging to the overall attitude of a larger group. In effect, any person who brings negativity into the office becomes an invisible sales killer.

Humans are a frail bunch, capable of finding ways to put each other down with the intention of lifting ourselves up. However, if you spend a moment thinking about it, you realize it simply does not work that way. It never has. Thus, it becomes your job to stop behaving in this negative manner.

To limit negativity and foster positivity, try doing four things: 1) train yourself to speak highly of others; 2) be honest with them in the most positive light possible; 3) speak about others with kindness; and 4) consider the potential greatness of each person with whom you interact.

Note that each of these four actions is proactive. Being proactive is “creating or controlling a situation by causing something to happen rather than responding to it after it has happened” —Google Free Dictionary. We foster positivity in ourselves, by proactively being positive, because positivity is separate and distinct from non-negativity.

My good friend, Mark Matteson, once told me: “Brigham, your future is so bright that it makes my eyes burn.” I felt certain that I was one of a select few that received a compliment like that from Mark. Since then, I have heard him say the same many times to others, but at that moment, it had a positive impact. And by the way, it did not diminish the positive impact the words had on me. It, in fact, gave me more appreciation for how Mark has mastered the art of building others up.