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Email From A Blind Woman Once Fearing A Storm…

Dearest World:

I was born blind…

So what’s the big deal? Some people are born without limbs. I feel so sorry for them because they don’t have my gift of insight through five heightened other senses!

Maybe they feel sorry for me too because their deficits grant advantages unknown to me. Wait, I just heard the answer from a quadriplegic. There’s one sending me a message now from fields in Bosnia…

However, that’s besides the point of this story: I was petrified of thunder and lightening! It rendered me a quivering helpless bowl of congealed chicken gravy!

Did I mention I was born blind?

I suffered from Astrapophobia. Why can’t Psychiatrists have simpler names for this like other phobias, e.g. a fear of obesity is called obesophobia? Really! And thanks to doctors, society has now developed a fear of long words-Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia. Yes, they’ve even pulled out of their proverbial black bags a word for that!

My reasons for being an astrapophobic blind woman were simple:

I had this recurring dream where I was struck by lightening rendering me sighted! The thunder was so noisy. I was scared. Running and blind, I’d get bumped and bruised. I’d trip then fall scampering trying to hide anywhere- even under the bed when sheets couldn’t protect enough from contact’s strike.

I awakened fatigued, bleeding and bruised in actuality! In my dream, my cherished five senses stopped functioning. I became irrational. Inexplicably upon awakening, I was still in this state! Blood stained sheets didn’t help either.

I remembered feeling scared losing all advantages I’d come to depend on having been born blind.

Silly fear…sillier dream you say? It was so real and the occurrences were unpredictable. I’d go months to almost a sometime year without one! Then unexpectedly, out of nowhere would come that most horrible repetitive nightmare! And with vivid color palette so real, it burned its spectrum onto my long damaged retina!

What would a woman blind since birth know about that? I read about it in Braille! I couldn’t really convey what color looked like until the dreams…

Every time lightening struck me,

I saw more color, more object forms.

Shouldn’t this have made me eager in life

to pursue all lightening storms?

A more sensible person would have held a large umbrella with affixed conductive metals dangling. They would have stood under a tree in a storm in a puddle with metallic shoes on. I’ll now admit that I wasn’t quite normal! Oddly, having visited the dreams so much,

I knew red appropriately described anger

and blood lost by countless soldiers lying down.

I imagined fields blanketed in that color seeing

arrested tears in the eyes of dead on the ground.

On a brighter note, red could have implied passion’s heat!

Thinking about it that way made me feel hot

in a place read about, never actually seen

but I’ve washed most definitely in that spot!

I’m blushing. Give me a brief

moment to collect myself…

I must think of another color

storing that one high up on a shelf…

Blue was as calm as it sounded but conflicted.

It represented peace of mind, tranquility

cloudless skies, bottomless clear seas.

That color also had such great utility.

On the other hand, its weight

got you down making you

drag depressed, despondent.

Conflicted, was the color blue!

Many others had symbolically contrasting meanings:

Yellow implied cowardice

but also being happy and bright,

it lent its restorative gifts

powered by Heaven’s sunlight…

Black signified demonic things.

Yet every business man

desiring a business in the black,

sought out a strategic plan!

White meant purity with references to

heaven used interchangeably by some.

But when afraid turning this color

enticed those same believers to run!

I could go on but I know you must get my point. Why did I know such colorful things born with a history of literal actual sight?

Hence, I was frightened

by vivid dreams,

of thunder’s thumps,

of lightening streams.

My psychiatrist couldn’t explain it.

Thought working overtime, she’d try.

Scientist probing must produce answers

lest losing patience, patients might die!

Paradoxically, every time the dream came, colors vividly hurt blinded eyes! Too loud thunder jiggled my internal organs jiggled when it struck. I’d had this dream for countless years. My long time Pastor, confidant and friend said it was possibly a premonition and that I shouldn’t have taken it in the literal sense. Admitting some dreams had meanings, he delivered up a small sermon along with various interpretations:

“My child you could be the instrument

God’s getting ready to use

detailing man’s soon punishment

soon to be revealed on the news.

Possibly, you’ll be gifted the ability to see.

Though still blind as from birth,

A kind of vision will be yours representing profound sight

where you’ll peering in souls, determining their net worth.”

Between wannabe helpful friends,

an investigative doctor, my seer pastor,

I felt nervously helpless to deter

some yet known pending disaster!

My dream suddenly ran into me while awake rendering me unconscious! There came mountains of social, other media buzz and hype about me… a mere blind woman surviving lightening’s contact:

“Today a formerly life long well adapted blind woman

was near fatally, horribly, helplessly struck down by lightening!

Miraculously not dead rendered unconscious, she can see!

Here’s Dean for with the story for further enlightening…”

I awoke in an ambulance

dazed fully sighted!

“What, when, where…” were questions

sudden vision ignited.

Confused, upset, scared,

I asked God, “why here, why now?”

I needed, wanted answers

while not asking Him how.

Remembering my last realest dream

experienced just two long days ago,

I heard of upcoming storms forecasted.

Setting the stage for perpetual darkness to go!

Speaking candidly with God, saying with trembling lips and the apex of my chin pointed towards heaven:

“Lord, spare me unsolicited, unwanted vision!

Will I keep my trusted old natural born gift?

You can the new back for the old in exchange -

visual sight for blind insight’s constant lift.”

You now see why I used to suffered from Astrapophobia?

Doctors, clergymen, government officials

hounded, tested, probed studied, annoyed me!

Apparently, I became a modern day miracle!

If they only knew the depths of what I could see

That, I was afraid to reveal.

They’d brand me a “super hero” for sure!

Excited, scared, I tried my new gifts out concluding

”divine” electrocution brought four sense more….

I wasn’t talking about “common” and “nonsense” either-

Most earthly men boasted abundant ownership of those.

Still asking: “Why mess with a content me, Lord?

Why not someone else, why gift a gift I never chose?”

I could teleport, teleconnect.

I had foresight and could prevent things or let just let them be.

These new senses gave me strengths, energies

I never imagined I’d possess, let alone- I’d ever see!

I could literally communicate with God

receiving His direct earth shaking orders.

He told me to brace myself, not be afraid but being thankful

better, clearer sight rendered clarity, tumbled down borders…

“Sighted woman, the time will come

for all to know what your anointing is worth.

Until then stay quiet, learn your gifts

enjoying ripened fruits of this quickly rotting earth!”

I felt, see, knew man’s hourglass

now had its final grains of sand.

I knew the precise moment God would flip it over.

I was the chosen instrument operated by His hand.

I’m now astrapophobia-free unfortunately my trusted

psychiatrist, preacher now have fears of their own.

Cogently, I revealed some of my amazingly new powers.

They tried You-tubing the event utilizing a smart phone.

Knowing, my mind immediately intercepted sending

them both back messages bolded and highleighted in red,

“Naughty! I reiterate- revelation’s times not yet come!

Keep my discussions, evidences shared tucked in your head.

They are not meant to be shared

until Father’s given the word.

Why He’s chose only you to know,

you wouldn’t believe it if you heard…”

So brothers and sisters verily I release unto you

words not meant to evoke responses of fear:

“Be cautious of your actions around struck blind women!

That’s all I’m at liberty right now to safely share.”

From a formerly blind woman once fearful of thunder and lightening.

Peace out!