Читать книгу The Men Commandments - Christian O’Connell - Страница 33

I’ll now fast-forward again and channel-hop to the bit of man history that gave us something we love to this very day. Who actually invented the car? There is much speculation about who can lay claim to being the one that gave us the four-wheeled love of our lives.

We do know that in 1769, the very first self-propelled road vehicle was a military tractor invented by French engineer and mechanic Nicolas Joseph Cugnot. He used a steam engine to power his contraption. It was used by the French army to haul artillery at a whopping speed of 2.5 mph. I’m guessing, it being the French army, this was in reverse.

The following year Cugnot built a steam-powered tricycle that carried four passengers. There are few details about whether this was the first ever road trip with the Cugmeister and his entourage going cruising for ladies. Arguing like all men do about who has to sit in the back and who gets the all-important role as wingman up front.

A year later Cugnot drove one of his road vehicles into a stone wall, making him the first person to get into a motor vehicle accident. Were there the high-visibility jacket-wearing wombles putting lane closures all around him? I haven’t read his insurance claim but what’s the guessing he was distracted by something, say a woman. According to a recent survey, men are more likely than women to get distracted while driving. No shit Sherlock. It even said killing insects was a hazardous distraction for men. It’s true. We do get very upset about midges on the windscreen. The windscreen is one of the few surfaces a man will try to keep meticulously clean. Work surfaces in the kitchen not so much.

So Frenchie invented the automobile. Or did he? Petrolheads will get very worked up and tell you it was the Germans who were there first. As always in life, the perennial towel on the sun loungers of history. Saying that, Karl Benz did create the first gas-powered vehicles, which are closer to the cars we know today. I’m going to leave it there as I’m beginning to get bored by all the men bickering about cars.