Читать книгу The Men Commandments - Christian O’Connell - Страница 34

On to some more interesting happenings in our history. Napoleon Bonaparte, the scourge of Europe, invading Italy, Spain, Holland and even Russia. As I said earlier, just being a great figure in history isn’t enough to be included in this book – you have to have contributed to man history. Sure, Napoleon ended feudalism in Europe, laid the basis for modern French law and was probably the greatest battlefield commander that ever lived, but what did he do for men?

Napoleon, by simply uttering three little words, challenged one of the great injustices that is suffered by men every single day. He was the first person brave enough to say ‘Not tonight Josephine’ to his wife. It’s fine for a woman to decline sex with her husband, and rightly so, but if a man decides he’s not in the mood, a big can of worms is opened.

The woman automatically assumes that they no longer find them attractive and that they’re probably having an affair. They also think: I’m better looking than this jerk, he’s lucky I’m even giving him a chance. It blows a woman’s mind when a man says he just wants a cuddle and does just want a cuddle. Without the usual stab in the belly. They don’t understand it.

You’re a red-blooded man with a penis and you’re saying you don’t want sex? The man maths just doesn’t add up. ‘Have penis must use it’ is how they think we are. They deduce all that even though it’s probably because we’ve just had a big meal and feel a bit bloated. Suffering from a PMT for men. Post Meal Tiredness. Napoleon was the first man to draw a line in the sand and for that we should get down on our knees and kiss his feet, even though he was French and apparently wore over a litre of cologne a day. Probably to try and hide his smell of Frenchness.