Читать книгу The Men Commandments - Christian O’Connell - Страница 38

Much has been devoted to our relationships with women, which we will come to in good time. But men’s relationships with other men, their buddies, mates and old muckers, are rarely discussed. They are full of unspoken weird rituals, rules and codes. And there are serious repercussions for breaching them.

It’s a constant mystery to women what we actually talk about when we get together with our mates. ‘Not much’ is usually the reply. I sometimes think they feel we are planning a secret man uprising, an escape committee like Steve McQueen and Dickie in The Great Escape. The very idea of a man uprising is stupid. There’s far too much organising and effort involved for a start. Plus it can’t be this Tuesday as the missus has her yoga class and I’m looking after the kids. How’s next Monday?

Women think we bond with each other over endless boring sports chats, booze and bottom coughs. What they don’t know is that, like them, we also chat about our other halves. Just not with the same level of intimacy or detail. What they also don’t realise is that men operate under a series of complex rules and codes. We all know they exist, the unwritten rules, and I have recorded them here for the first time in history.

As we get into relationships and start families, actually getting to see your mates gets harder and harder. Most women immediately fear, distrust and even hate your mates.

They edge them out and restrict your visiting times, or even worse, come with you when you go out with them. She might as well hold your hand or put your balls in her handbag. Your man card* has been revoked.