Читать книгу The Men Commandments - Christian O’Connell - Страница 40

I have also noticed women really don’t like that way we whisper among ourselves and then laugh really loudly. If you’re ever asked what you were laughing at, always lie. Don’t tell them the truth. No matter what they threaten you with.

Last Christmas my refusal to rat out myself and my brother-in-law about what we found so funny got me the stink eye (see Men and Women) for a few hours but it’s a rap you have to take. No one likes a snitch. It’s like Steve McQueen as ‘The Cooler King’ in The Great Escape – you do your time. However, I wasn’t allowed any ball games to pass the time.

Between you and me, my brother-in-law and I had discovered that you can instant message each other on a Nintendo DS. (Well, the kids had shown us – we didn’t discover it. The boy is the father of the man.) Hey presto, within seconds of finding this out we were sending vulgar messages to each other on them while sitting among relatives.

I’d imagine this happens at those UN meetings. Gordon Brown sending Sarkozy a note saying ‘Check out the baba jangers on the babe from Slovenia!’ or ‘Don’t fancy yours much’ and nodding at the delegate from Albania.

It transformed the dreaded post-turkey slump into playground fun. My brother-in-law laughed too loudly though. Schoolboy error.

It drew attention to us and the game was up. To this day it’s recalled frequently by my wife. I’ll take the content of those vulgar messages to my grave. Giggling.