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With this, the all-new, sixth edition of The Joy of Cooking Internationally, we extend our sincere wish that a world of fine eating come your way!

We hope this volume will allow you to appreciate what the various ethnic groups have to offer the true gourmet of cuisine international: their varied temperaments, from those spicy Latin dishes (chapter 12) to those salty New England chowder heads (chapter 9), as well as their attitudes toward your desire to serve them–in their own natural juices, which, incidentally make excellent soups and stews (chapter 3).

Don’t miss such tempting world-famous favorites as Swiss Steak (page 23) Blacks’ Eyes Peas (page 345), Jewish Wry Bread (page 67), Chilean con Carne (page 112), and a delicious Turkish Taffy (page 98).

Finally, we hope this book will give you new ideas on serving the people whose guts you’ve always hated, but never knew how to prepare. Bon appétit!

— The Editors

The Joy of Cooking Internationally

Irish Stew

2 cups potatoes, peeled and cubed

2 cups carrots, chopped

1 cup onions, diced

1 hod peat moss

1 large Irishman

2 fifths cheap whiskey

Wash Irishman thoroughly in strong disinfectant. Place in cold oven with whiskey and allow to marinate. Remove bottles and set oven to 325 degrees. Place vegetables into a large pot of boiling water and simmer for thirty minutes. When a fork leaves clean holes in Irishman, remove from oven and chop–and don’t ye be talked out of it! Add Irishman to vegetable stock and simmer ‘til the cows come home, or about two hours. Serve on paper plates and garnish with a pinch of damp peat moss.

Baked Alaskan

1 yellow cake mix

1 quart vanilla ice cream

3 cups fresh fruit

1 fresh-frozen Alaskan

Thaw Alaskan for forty-five minutes in the ’fridge. Clean, bone, and skin. Track and shoot a wolf from a helicopter and make oven mitts from its hide. Bake yellow cake in a greased sheet pan according to package directions. When cool, cut in four inch squares. Place thawed Alaskan in blender and set on “chop” function for six minutes. Top each cake square with Alaskan, ice cream, and fresh fruit. Warm in 225 degree oven, about four minutes.

Scotch Broth

pot of boiling water

1 Scotsman

Prepare one large haggis according to the recipe on p. 76 and then discard. Render Scotsman down in boiling water. Skin off fat and reserve. Save bones for soup. Ladle into dishes and serve piping hot with croutons and warm ale.

German Chocolate Cake

2 tsp. vanilla

1/4 lb. melted butter

1/2 cup sugar

4 eggs

4 cups flour, sifted

2 cups chocolate, semi-sweet

1 German, medium size

Trick German into taking his clothes off by telling him it’s time for a shower. Salute German and pin a medal on his chest, if desired. Place in food processor and puree, about six minutes. While humming “Ode to Joy,” slowly pour German puree over flour, sugar, eggs, butter. Melt chocolate with a flame-thrower. Fold into mixture. Grease two nine-inch round cake pans with an Italian’s head. Pour batter into pans–don’t spill!–and bake at 400 degrees for one and a third hours exactly. Remove. Allow to cool thoroughly before icing.

French Fries

cooking oil

16 ounces dry Chablis

salt and pepper

4 good-sized Frenchmen

With great finesse, heat oil to 400 degrees. Untie, clean, and slice Frenchmen into one-inch strips. Float slices in a dry Chablis for twelve minutes. Season to taste and place strips in oil, retreating from the spatter, as needed. When they float, they’re done! Drain on absorbent paper and serve on either side of the plate, as a side dish, or by themselves on celery.

Noodles Romanov

2 pounds fresh egg noodles

1 cup diced onions

2 cups sliced mushrooms

a member of the Romanov family

Prepare noodles according to package directions. Sauté onions and mushrooms in butter. Dance around the kitchen with the Romanov and get him or her staggering drunk. Pound with a wooden mallet until tender. Sear in a large frying pan and slice when brown. Add three tablespoons cooking sherry to sautéed onion and mushrooms. Add slices of Romanov. Simmer mixture twenty minutes, stirring occasionally. Drink half a bottle of cooking sherry, then pour Romanov and sauce over well-drained noodles. Serve by candlelight with balalaika accompaniment.