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5. Bedroom Bondage & Restraint

Physical restraint is the trademark of BDSM. It can be achieved via a variety of bondage gear, including wrist and ankle restraints, collars, chains, ropes, arm binders, leg-spreader bars and suspension equipment (see #29 and #34). These items bring intense visual impact to sexplay, as the dominant can bask in the novel sight of his or her partner in powerless and perhaps humiliating positions. At the same time, the submissive can savor the sense of being erotically exploited and sexually controlled. BDSM beginners may wish to invest in a bondage kit that comes with some of the basics, such as handcuffs, a whip or paddle and a blindfold.

An even better choice to begin your BDSM collection is to purchase a restraint system that discreetly fastens under the mattress. These usually come with adjustable straps and four restraints, for wrists and ankles. These systems accommodate a variety of restraint body positions, from spread-eagle to tightly bound limbs, which in turn allows for unlimited BDSM sexplay options. Under-the-bed restraint systems and “bedroom bondage kits” are available at larger or specialty sex shops, as well as many online sex shops.

To make a smart purchase, read a number of online user reviews before buying this or any sex toy or product. You should also check into the product’s composition and where it was manufactured. North American and European products are, generally speaking, made of the safest and highest quality materials. Online purchases often arrive more quickly than you might expect and are usually packaged discreetly.

If you don’t want to invest in a “professional” bedroom bondage system—or you’re too shy to face the knowing grin of a sex shop cashier—you can improvise a low-cost, under-the-bed restraint system as follows:

 Purchase four lengths of cotton rope from a hardware store or home renovation center. If you have a king-sized bed, each length should be around eight feet long. Cotton rope is soft, flexible and least likely to cause severe rope burn, which is why ranchers usually use it for handling livestock. If it can hold a bucking bronco, it can hold a squirming submissive.

 Secure the four ends of the rope together by tying them in a knot.

 Remove the mattress from your bed and lay the rope on top of the bed frame with the knot square in the middle. Spread each length of rope to the four corners of the bed frame.

 Replace the mattress.

 Bring each of the four lengths of rope up over each corner of the mattress. The end of each rope can now be tied to the submissive’s wrists and ankles to secure him or her in the spread-eagle position.

This makeshift under-the-bed restraint system will do in a pinch; however, if you have the benefit of both a headboard and a footboard, it may be simpler to secure each length of rope to those to hold a submissive in the spread-eagle position.