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11. Pain & Pleasure

The classic BDSM cocktail is a spicy blend of pain and pleasure. Typically, the dominant partner is aroused by sadism, or the act of inflicting pain on another. The submissive is aroused by feeling pain, a quality of masochism. In good BDSM, there is a perfect balance of giving and receiving pain within the context of sexual activity. In so doing, the physical and mental sensations of sex are maximized. The body is exploding with intense feeling and the mind is reeling from the power imbalance between dominant and submissive. Lovers who wish to incorporate elements of pain and pleasure into their sex lives must discuss their desires and limits, as well as any safety concerns or precautions, in advance (see #2).