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THE DOGS AND THE FLEAS.

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CHAPTER I.

Canisville.—Founded by Rebel Dogs from Kyhidom.—Prosperity and Happiness of the Early Canisvillians.


THERE was once a time when dogs were dogs and dwelt together respectably in the respectable town of Canisville. Canisville was situated on the west side of a big fish pond, from the east side of which the forefathers and foremothers of the dogs had come, driven out by the dogs of Kyhidom, the great city of those parts, because they had dared to say many most grievous things about the folly of dogs allowing fleas to settle on them, to boss them and suck their blood.

For be it known, the dogs of Kyhidom were great idolaters with very small heads, who had been easily taught to reverence and worship fleas in general, and their own in particular, as having been ordained of God to suck their blood; and when these rebel dogs with preposterous, new fangled notions about the rights of dogs, got loud-mouthed in their remarks, the good, orthodox, divine-right-of-fleas dogs were scandalized and said that the rebel dogs were committing the sin of doubting the wisdom of things that were and had been, and were flying in the face of Providence; and as they were there to protect Providence at all hazards, those dogs must either cease flying in the face of Providence or fly from the country. So the rebel dogs, not being able to stop flying in the face of Providence aforesaid, did fly from the country and paddled their own canoe to the other side of the pond, where they founded the new town of Canisville.

Nevertheless, this same Providence, who, on that side of the pond, apparently could not bear to have his face flown in, did seem to mightily bless and prosper them on this side thereof; and they became a well-to-do community and were guided, ruled and advised by a wise and venerable patriarchal chief of the name of Bull McMastiff, who taught them various wise maxims and laws. Every morning he would call them to a conversazione, and after admonishing them of their sins, faults, mistakes and transgressions of the day before, would advise them of the way wherein they should trot to-day; and he always dismissed them with this particular bit of advice: “My children, your enemy the flea goeth about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. He loveth dogs, and neglecteth no opportunity to take possession of one, particularly the lazy one. But remember, I pray ye, your forefathers and foremothers; how they refused to hump the back for fleas to ride upon; how they gat themselves up out of Kyhidom, out of the House of Bondage, and came into this land flowing with milk and honey, where ye have grown to be a mighty, prosperous and free people undevoured of fleas. Therefore I say unto you, be vigilant, and diligently beware of the flea.”

And so it was that while they continued to hearken unto the barks of the good chief McMastiff, they dwelt in safety and put away from amongst them all those who had the itch and the mange and the scab and the botch.

And they searched diligently all through the camp, and whomsoever they found scratching with the hind leg, or viciously biting himself, they incontinently hauled up before the judge and made confess where he had caught his flea, or rather where his flea had caught him; and when they had taken the flea and caused it to be put to death, they sentenced the culprit to be cleansed every day for a month; but if the offender offended again, they worried him to death and cast out his carcass.


The Dogs and the Fleas

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