Читать книгу It’s Just a Date: A Guide to a Sane Dating Life - Greg Behrendt - Страница 9

Women always have and always will continue to date a man’s potential instead of his reality. We can’t help ourselves. It’s in a woman’s nature to be hopeful and to see the possibilities, the greatness that people possess. Hooray for us, aren’t we lovely? We are, but dating someone’s potential is probably the biggest mistake women make in relationships and certainly the one that leads to our romantic downfall. That’s because there are three types of men: the ones that find our faith in their potential to be appealing, the ones that find our faith in their potential to be a burden … and the ones that find it appealing at first then are crushed by the burden of their un-reached potential and resentful of the woman they once adored for that very faith.

The problem is that we don’t know which of the three the man of our dreams is going to be until it’s often too late. Once you’ve unintentionally crushed a man’s ego (read: once he decides that he doesn’t want to reach the potential you have for him) it’s hard for him to be excited about you anymore. Then it’s just a matter of time before the sex starts diminishing, there’s bickering where there wasn’t any before and the distance between you begins an expansion that is unwieldy.

More often than not, dating a man’s potential is the long road to disaster—so listen to who he says he is and take him at his word. If you can love who he is now and not have your attraction be based on who he might become then you’re in good shape. If you’re not, well then you best keep looking because most people have different aspirations than you might have for them.

Love isn’t swimming upstream.