Читать книгу It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Breakup Buddy - Greg Behrendt - Страница 13

Dear Greg

I’ve been seeing this guy for about eight months. At first we were just hooking up, but then we started really dating, exclusively. We were practically living at each other’s houses, rarely spending even one night apart. He even gave me a drawer at his place and a toothbrush! So a few weeks ago he started acting weird, and I asked if something was wrong. He said that things had moved along faster than he’d anticipated, and that even though it freaked him out, he was really happy with the way things were going and cared about me more than he’d expected to. I thought, Great! Then he’s suddenly too tired to come over or has to get up early the next day so he doesn’t think I should spend the night. So we went back to only seeing each other a few nights a week. Not great. When he got really distant, I knew something was up, so I checked his e-mails on his Sidekick when he was in the bathroom. It was clear from all the e-mails between him and TamiLynn78 that he’d been seeing someone else. So I confronted him about it and he didn’t deny it, so I told him we were O.V.E.R. and stormed out of his apartment. Now, this is the part where he was supposed to come running after me—but he didn’t! He just let me go, and I haven’t heard from him since. What’s up with that? I really want him to want me back and feel remorse for hurting me. Is that too much to ask?

Linda

Dear Yes It Is Too Much to Ask,

First of all, I think it’s great you checked his e-mails instead of talking to him. Sounds like you had a great, open, trusting relationship in which you dug around in his personal business while he cheated on you. Why did it have to end? I’m going to say this and it’s going to suck (but understand where I’m coming from). He broke up with you months ago and let you do the dirty work. It’s a weird, passive-aggressive trick that men have perfected for centuries. Chances are he didn’t want to hurt your feelings, so he behaved in a way that would make you break up with him. I call this the “Backhanded Breakup.” Men (and women) have done it for years. Not only that, but he had an escape plan involving another bed to crash on. What a scumbag! I’m sure he’s getting right on that remorse you were hoping for. The only thing he has done right is not contact you. You should gladly accept this radio silence because your relationship has been broken for a while, and get on with your grieving because you are moving on to something better.