Читать книгу It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Breakup Buddy - Greg Behrendt - Страница 16

Dear Greg

My boyfriend and I broke up almost a year ago and it still hurts! We were only together for a year and a half, so shouldn’t I be over this? They say it takes half the time of the total length of the relationship to get over it, but that equation hasn’t worked for me. I swear it hurts as much today as it did a year ago. I still think about him every day and think of all the great memories we had together, and it makes me so mad that he just threw that all away. How long is it going to hurt and how do I get over this?

Lauren

Dear Time Stands Still,

I do believe that someone did say that it takes half the time of a relationship to get over it. There’s another formula, though, that may be more accurate; if your pet hamster dies, you count the number of years it was alive, divide that by its number of paws, and find the square root. OR maybe mathematical equations do not apply to the heart. I think the time it takes to feel better about a breakup, Hot Stuff, is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself. When you feel bad about yourself, you replay loops in your head. You replay great moments you guys had together so you can reassure yourself that you “blew it.” You go back over mistakes you made: “If only I’d been skinny, sexy, whatever” to “What about that time I set his car on fire…” (Uh, okay, some things may have been a factor.) So you sit around and devalue yourself. You think about what you could have said or should have done—or what you might say if he comes crawling back—instead of being present in the moment and working toward a new and better future. It’s called a breakup because it’s broken. It can’t be fixed, so you have to let it go, and only then will your pain begin to subside. The hard part about time is that it actually takes time. Sorry.