Читать книгу Jelleyman’s Thrown a Wobbly: Saturday Afternoons in Front of the Telly - Jeff Stelling - Страница 11

It's at this time that we put our already flimsy reputations into the hands of the goggle-box gods and set up a live interview with one of the many managers making their final preparations around the country. Now, in TV we always say, ‘Light, action, sound!’ but on Soccer Saturday we can get light, action, too much (or too little) sound! I remember we once managed to convince Sir Alex Ferguson to do a live post-match interview with us, which was absolutely unheard of. He never does interviews and we knew we had to be absolutely ready to go when Fergie gave us the green light to talk. Typically, the sound went down as Fergie stepped up to the microphone.

When a manager is talking to us in the studio, they can't actually see anything. They're just standing there, usually helpless, looking into a camera and listening to our questions and comments which are being piped in through their headphones. It's a nightmare for them. Thus Alex couldn't hear anything either, which added to his confusion. I could see he was getting a bit frustrated, and he began flashing us the sort of look usually reserved for card-happy referees. After a while, the technical creases were ironed out and we were away. With our questions in place, I could begin the interview.

‘So, we're happy to have Sir Alex Ferguson with us today …’ I said as an ear-shredding PA system at Old Trafford boomed across the stadium for a fire drill. Once again, Sir Alex couldn't hear a thing, which really didn't help his mood. For some reason, this was the moment I chose to ask a question about Wayne Rooney's temperament.

Sir Alex's face started to darken. ‘Ach,’ he grimaced. ‘You usually ask sensible questions, not rubbish like that. Who's telling you to ask these questions?’

I panicked like a frightened schoolboy. ‘Er, Charlie Nicholas actually, Sir Alex,’ I stammered. It was a blatant lie, and I think Charlie saw the funny side, but Sir Alex certainly didn't.

Then, of course, the pitchside sprinklers tend to get turned on when we go live, soaking cameramen, crew and the already disgruntled Premier League manager. I'm not sure if the ground staff are watching and waiting for their moment, but it happens with a suspicious regularity. I remember Sam Allardyce was spectacularly soaked once (which would serve him right for referring to me as ‘Stirling’ for a joke, on air). Later, when Gordon Strachan was at Southampton, he was splashed as well. Can you imagine the look on his face? Actually, it's probably best if you don't - you probably won't sleep for a week.

Gordon is difficult to get onto the show at the best of times because I don't think he enjoys doing live interviews. This time, we'd convinced him to talk to us. But as he came onto the camera, the first thing he said was, ‘I don't know why I agreed to do this.’ Moments later, I could see his point - the sprinkler systems splashed into life and he had to make a dash for the sidelines.

Our old mate Harry Redknapp was actually struck by a football while doing a recorded piece with Soccer Saturday. He was at the Southampton training ground. As he spoke to the camera, a ball came out of nowhere and struck him on the back. He was furious. Harry turned around to see who it was and in a heartbeat shouted out, ‘No wonder you're in the fucking reserves.’ Priceless.