Читать книгу Jelleyman’s Thrown a Wobbly: Saturday Afternoons in Front of the Telly - Jeff Stelling - Страница 21

A few years ago, while buying a sandwich (from the aforementioned motorway service station café in fact), I was approached by a group of Forest fans who wanted to talk about The Good Doctor, or Kenny Deuchar, the one time Gretna and Northampton striker who was also a practising doctor. Like a handful of characters in the game, I'd made a point of referring to his trade whenever he scored - he was a man of medical science, after all - and given his quick thinking in front of goal, I found I was mentioning him quite a lot. It was apparent by the reaction of these lads that, purely by accident, I had created a cult hero.

But The Good Doctor wasn't the only one. Over the years I have name-checked the previously anonymous Adam Stansfield (‘Sister Lisa will be pleased’) of Exeter City, and Arbroath's Kevin Web-ster (‘Sally will be pleased’), not to mention Hartlepool wonderkid, James ‘I Feel Good’ Brown, who gets a mention - and a song -whenever he hits the back of the net. For those of you currently scratching your heads at these ‘gags’, you will be pleased to know that you're about to receive a thorough explanation of each one over the next few pages.

Anyway, I have to admit that in writing this book I've been forced to think of the impact of my jokes as ‘the incomparable ringmaster of Sky's six-hour slog, Soccer Saturday’ (the Independent) and ‘Ranting Jeff’ (the Northern Echo). Unlike broadcasting doyens such as Kenneth ‘They think it's all over …’ Wolstenholme and Les ‘If it's up there I'll give you the money myself’ Dennis, I don't have one single catchphrase to hinge my public image on, which is probably a blessing because on the rare occasions I am asked to sign autographs I can stick to a simple, ‘All the best, Jeff.’

Instead, I've amassed an armoury of silly quips, throwaway gags and ill-advised rants. Some of them have gathered a small amount of cult interest over the years. They also tend to appear on YouTube quite a lot. Maybe it's about time I explained the methods behind the apparent madness …