Читать книгу Spirit is Talking to You: True Stories of Signs, Wonders, Inspiration, Love and Connection - Joan Doyle - Страница 17

Unique Expressions

By Joan Doyle

My eyes were filling with tears as I made my way down the sidewalk of the main street of my village toward the supermarket. When I reached it, I could not go inside in the emotional state I was in, so I veered off toward the outskirts of the town. There I knew I would have no witnesses but the cows, who taking a cursory glance would return disinterestedly to munching the lush Irish grass. The emotion of leave-taking was surfacing and would not be contained! My parents had lived in this village for over 50 years and my childhood had been spent among its people and its beautiful countryside. I had gone away to boarding school when I was twelve, and since then had only spent two more years living there. But those short years growing out of that earth, years of belonging and identity, had kept drawing me back and had grounded me like nowhere else on this globe over the decades to follow. And now, after 15 years of living in Los Angeles–which might as well be an alternate universe to this location–I had brought the love of my life to my home place.

We married in the presence of my family and those of his who had been able to travel. It had been a most happy and emotional time. Justin had returned a week before me and now it was my turn to leave. As usual I was desolate.

I often compare this transplantation of my body to my second home in America to an organ transplant. On returning to LA, there is the possibility of rejection of the new country within the first week! And no matter how often I go through the process, there is always that transition time. But now, for the first time, I was returning to my husband. And this did change things. My heart held the happiness of my return to him and the sadness of my leave-taking simultaneously.

As I walked, teary-eyed, my sadness dominant, I thought of asking for Justin’s patience and understanding on my return. I would ask that he not be offended if I was blue for a day or two, that I was happy to be back but that I needed to let go gradually of my home and family. It was when having this thought that I found a penny! I stooped to pick it up off the old stone paving and smiled, feeling reassured. Justin would sometimes quote his Dad, “When in doubt, communicate.” Justin was teaching me much about communication, and this penny was saying, “Yes, talk about it.” Holding things back can lead to misunderstandings. I knew as I looked at this shiny Irish penny that there would be times in our marriage when our separate life experiences could lead to misunderstandings, but that if we could communicate, everything could be worked out.

Two people, no matter how close, or in tune, or in love, are completely separate individuals and won’t always understand each other. But if there is a willingness to share, especially when we feel vulnerable, and a willingness to listen lovingly to our partner without judgment, I feel that the relationship can grow and flourish. Allowing the other to simply be a witness to our personal processes, we allow the other to give us the gift of love in the form of their healing presence. I believe this ability to be there for each other is more powerful than we can imagine. This is the safe place that Justin and I have agreed to create, and it draws us forever to each other.