Читать книгу Healing Your Hungry Heart - Joanna Poppink - Страница 15

Almost every self-help book suggests some form of writing. You've probably had some experience in journaling or keeping a diary. You may even keep a journal now.

When you pour your thoughts and feelings onto the page, you are able to see them more clearly. The page holds your written thoughts and feelings, not you. You become free to read, observe, think, and feel something other than what you wrote.

This is particularly helpful when you are in the thick of an emotional storm or when you have a difficult decision to make. You can write your dilemma onto the page and then ask for what you want and need. You might be surprised to discover that after you write out your problem and ask for help, your own psyche, or the voice of your heart and soul, comes through with relevant answers. In your recovery work, you'll harness the power of journaling to help you clear entrenched false beliefs and automatic responses and behaviors so you are free to discover new and more self-caring options.

At this early stage in your journaling, you can write anything. You'll fine tune your writing later on. Right now your first step is to befriend pen and paper. Write at least three pages every day about anything you want. Complain. Fantasize. Write down your plans for the next hour or week or lifetime. Describe people in your life or the room you are in. Write at home, in the park, in your car, in a waiting room, at a café, on a bus bench. Just write three pages.

Think of your journal as a camera, writing descriptions of what you see, or a tape recorder, writing about what you hear.

In Appendix D, “Recovery Journal Prompts,” you will find additional topics to journal on. Build gradually toward journaling on these topics. Right now, simply free write and see what happens. Give yourself the gift of letting your heart and mind release what you've been holding, and give yourself room to breathe and be just as you are.

The chapters that follow will give you examples of the experiences of women living with and recovering from eating disorders, as well as exercises, stories, and meditations that will provide you with a lifeline to grow out of current painful and destructive ways.

Please pace yourself. Part of living with an eating disorder is wanting and grasping for immediate gratification. (One sugary doughnut or a dozen can knock out feelings. It's only natural that you would hope for a fast route to recovery.) Part of living with an eating disorder means you believe you are not doing enough, are not good enough or fast enough. This book is full of things to do. But you don't have to do them all, and you certainly don't have to do them all at once. Let your recovery unfold at a pace you can sustain. Recovery is not a sprint. You are going for the long distance of your life.

Please, proceed gently with yourself. Recovery comes in layers and stages, with pauses in between to settle. Think of the layering Rembrandt used in his masterpieces. (Yes, you are a masterpiece too.) He painted meticulously with oils. Then he waited until a layer was completely dry and absorbed by the canvas before he added the next layer. He gave himself and the painting time to breathe and acclimate to new stages. So must you.

Through gradual and regular practice, you will develop a strength and stability that you can't imagine now. As you proceed, you will discover how to be present and capable of coping with your challenges. Your fears will diminish as you progress on your recovery path.

Daily Exercises

Remember to pace yourself. The exercises and activities listed below and in Appendix B, “Additional Exercises and Activities,” will gradually expand as you gain strength. They will help steady and support you as we take a closer look at your life in the next chapter.

1 Follow your breath for five minutes at least three times a day.

2 Read or recite three affirmations twenty times each, at least three times a day. See Appendix A, “Affirmations.”

3 Write a minimum of three pages in your journal each day.