Читать книгу The Gentle Birth Method: The Month-by-Month Jeyarani Way Programme - Karen MacLeod Swan - Страница 31

Did you know that as a father you are also expecting? If you thought the bump/cramps/pain bit was the mother’s domain, think again. OK, so you’re not going to grow a bump, you’re not going to be woken with leg cramps in the middle of the night and, no, you don’t need to go through labour – but pregnancy is not something that just happens to the mother for nine months. Having a baby is a shared adventure.

You don’t suddenly become a father when the baby finally emerges. You’re a father already. From the moment you see the little shape on the ultrasound monitor and see the smile on your partner’s face, you can start bonding with your baby. The comic view of the expectant father is of a desperate man driving around at 2am trying to find pickled onions to satisfy the mother’s cravings and desperately trying to put up shelves in the nursery as the male nesting instinct translates into frantic DIY. But your role in pregnancy doesn’t just have to be practical stuff and ‘doing’ things.

Your body may not be engaged in pregnancy, but your heart and mind can be. Your baby, growing inside your partner’s belly, already recognizes and loves your voice and your touch. And for your partner too, your role in the pregnancy is absolutely crucial. Feeling looked after and cared for is a powerful tool in the mother’s emotional preparation for birth – the more she learns to trust and rely on you for support, the more she will instinctively feel safe surrendering her body and freeing her mind from the mechanics of labour.

So when your partner asks you to read to her a visualization that involves imagining the inside of her pelvis, or to help her build up an emotional dreamscape for her ‘safe place’, be enthusiastic. Knowledge is understanding, is empathy, is sharing, is bonding – is family.

You may know every last curve of your partner’s body but by reading this book you can also learn about how she is growing your baby. Become an expert, a connoisseur of her body. Read its messages, anticipate its demands; love, nurture, cherish it – and in so doing, you love, nurture and cherish your baby. Whatever your relationship history up until this point, pregnancy is a new chapter that offers opportunities to be a better partner and the best father.