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Bedtime

What is an appropriate bedtime for a teenager?

While sleep requirements fall fairly consistently between the ages of two and twelve, with the average 12-year-old getting about nine or ten hours of sleep a night, sleep needs for teenagers do not continue to fall – and, indeed, in some cases they require more sleep than a pre-teen. Studies show that most teenagers get somewhere between six and eight hours of sleep a night by the age of eighteen, which is, apparently, not enough.

As kids enter the teenage years, physiological changes in the brain that regulate sleep and waking cause them to stay up longer and sleep later. Unfortunately, that’s precisely the time they must be at school. Add homework, sports activities, music lessons, TV and chatting with friends online, and most kids have little time to catch up on sleep. Not getting enough sleep can have serious consequences for learning, long-term memory and safety. REM (rapid eye movement) sleep is when the mind repairs itself, grows new connections, and ‘puts it all together’; this type of sleep occurs about every 90 minutes and gets longer as the night progresses. Between the seventh and eighth hour, we get almost an hour of REM sleep, so it’s critical that kids are getting at least this amount.

How many hours of sleep does a teenager need?

Research at the National Center on Sleep Disorders at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) in the US, shows that children who regularly sleep nine hours perform better in school, are happier, suffer fewer accidents, and are less likely to develop weight or emotional problems later on than those who try to function on less.

So count back. If your child has to be up at seven every morning, then aim for a 10 pm bedtime. It can be difficult to get some teens into bed; see page for a little advice.

When can children set their own bedtime?

Left to their own devices, many older children and teenagers would resist bedtime for as long as possible, which makes the concept of allowing them to set their own bedtimes potentially dangerous. We’ve established that teenagers need as much sleep, if not more, than a 12-year-old (see page). The importance of sleep needs to be made clear before any responsibility for setting bedtimes can be handed over to kids. If they understand their requirements, and are willing to act responsibly, then it is acceptable for them to choose when they go to sleep. In reality, it’s hard to enforce a bedtime after the age of about fifteen, so that’s probably a good point at which kids can be given the freedom to decide.

It’s worth, however, laying down some ground rules, the first being that you expect your child to get an average of eight or nine hours of sleep a night. Short-term sleep deficit can normally be made up; however, research has consistently supported the proposition that ongoing sleep deprivation results in decreased academic achievement. For instance, studies have demonstrated that children with later school-night bedtimes, more irregular bedtimes and shorter total sleep time on school nights, have lower academic achievement than children with earlier, more regular bedtimes and longer total sleep time. A large study involving thousands of students whose school systems delayed start-times demonstrated that students in such systems who have longer sleep times have better attendance records, increased continuous enrolment and a slight increase in grades.

Kids do need to learn how to manage their own time and energy, so you might like to institute ‘bedroom time’, which means that you expect them to be in their bedrooms by, say, 10 pm every evening. Reading, listening to music or other quiet pursuits can take place after this time, but TV, computers, phones and loud music – all of which disturb sleep patterns – are out. This is a compromise of sorts, with your child effectively setting his own sleep time, while you enforce the wind-down time.

Can bedtimes be later on the weekend and, if so, by how much?

As long as your child is getting the sleep he needs, there is no reason why a later bedtime on weekends isn’t possible. If he can make up the hours by sleeping in, he’ll get the sleep he needs. But beware! Many families find it irritating to have a teen sleeping till noon on weekends, after spending half the night watching TV or banging around the house. If your child has homework, household chores, a part-time job or activities on the weekend to fit in, midday wakenings are not conducive to a productive schedule. Once again, set a bedroom time (see above) of, say, 11 pm or midnight with the same limitations on activities in place. If your child has a TV in her room, make sure it’s not on all hours, and that a certain cut-off point is agreed (see page). Sleepovers, later evenings out and even one-off programmes on TV might call for the occasional later bedtime, and if you are flexible on these occasions, you are more likely to convince a teen that a reasonable bedtime on ordinary weekend nights is acceptable.

Should my child be allowed to listen to music while he falls asleep?

Many older children and teenagers find it difficult to settle (the result of a circadian of rhythms that goes awry with adolescent hormones), and tend to potter about doing the same things they enjoy throughout the day. Listening to music is often one of these. And while studies show that soft, soothing music has the ability to reduce stress hormones and encourage restful sleep, loud music does quite the opposite. Not only will it keep your child alert and awake for longer, but sleep itself will be disrupted by the impact on hormones and adrenaline. It’s a good idea to set some guidelines for when loud music is appropriate (stopping, say, an hour or so before lights out). Do, however, encourage soft music – if you can agree on what is genuinely ‘soft and soothing’ or simply your teen’s interpretation!

My son often falls asleep in front of the TV in his bedroom – will this affect his sleep?

Unfortunately, yes. Many experts frown upon TVs in bedrooms, and this is one of the main reasons why. In a recent US study, researchers found that some TV viewing habits were particularly strongly associated with sleep problems. These included: the presence of a television in a child’s bedroom; the child’s use of the TV as a sleep aid; and the amount of TV viewed daily. In fact, a television in the child’s room was the most powerful predictor of overall sleep disturbance and bedtime resistance in the analysis the researchers performed. The study also found that television viewing at bedtime and overall heavy television viewing caused children to resist going to bed, to have trouble falling asleep and to sleep less than the recommended eight or nine hours. TV viewing habits, such as falling asleep in front of the television, seemed to cause sleep disturbances in 25 per cent of children.

ADOLESCENTS AND SLEEP

Adolescent sleep has become a topic of great concern, spawning a number of world-wide conferences to address the problem. As a group, adolescents appear to be among the most sleep-deprived in our society. Why does it matter? Sleep deprivation can impair memory and inhibit creativity, making it difficult for sleep deprived students to learn. Teens struggle to learn to deal with stress and control emotion – sleep deprivation makes it even more difficult. Irritability, lack of self-confidence and mood swings are often common in teens, but sleep deprivation makes it worse. Depression can result from chronic sleep deprivation. Not enough sleep can endanger their immune system and make them more susceptible to serious illnesses, and interestingly, it is a precursor to obesity. Judgement can also be impaired, and given that many teens are for the first time making their own decisions, and driving cars and bikes on the roads, this can pose a serious safety risk. Adolescents are involved in some 55 per cent of all traffic accidents, and most appear to happen when they are on their own, at night. Experts believe that drowsiness and inadequate sleep are at the root of the problem.

What can you do?

Keep an eye on your child’s activity levels. If he’s playing sports every day after school, practising an instrument, has a part-time job or takes part in too many clubs, you may need to encourage him to drop something. Stick to a reasonable schedule that allows time for homework, fun and adequate rest.

Make sure your adolescent is part of the family routine – eating regularly, enjoying some free time and going to bed at an appropriate time. If his bedtime is running later and later, strike up a deal and let him choose a more appropriate bedtime.

Keep an eye on his diet. If he’s drinking coffee or a lot of cola in the evenings, his sleep will be disrupted and he’ll find it difficult to get to sleep.

Intense studying or computer games before bed can be stimulating.

Avoid arguing with your adolescent just before bedtime, which can make him feel stressed, under pressure and less able to sleep.

Keep the television and the lights off when sleeping, and open the blinds as soon as the morning alarm goes. This can help to create a more acceptable sleep/wake cycle.

Don’t discourage weekend lie-ins, but limit them to no more than two or three hours later than the usual wakening time, or the body clock will be disrupted.

When should we agree to stop the pre-bed bathing?

Let’s face it, most adolescents are too tired or behind schedule to jump into the shower in the morning, so a night-time bath isn’t just a luxury but a necessity. Moreover, kids who are highly pressured by school work and various activities will do well to bathe at the end of the day. Various studies into stress show that night-time bathing encourages restful sleep and relaxes the body (a too-hot bath or shower has the opposite effect), and has the psychological effect of ‘washing away’ the day’s problems. Kids who have always had an evening bath before bed will probably continue this as part of their normal routine; encourage it where you can and implement it if not. If you have a reluctant bather, give your child choices in their personal care products to get them interested.

When should I stop reading a bedtime story?

Once kids can read on their own, the bedtime story is resoundingly dropped. So, by around eight or nine years old, kids no longer enjoy a bedtime read with parents. Is this too young? Several experts believe so. Reading together, whether you take turns reading a chapter, letting your child read to you, or giving them a treat by reading to them, should ideally continue until age twelve or even later. In fact, one study found that children who are read to into their teens not only develop a greater love of books and solo reading habits, but they do better at A-level. Obviously an older teen will think you are mad if you suggest a bedtime story, but there’s no reason why you can’t spend time reading together, perhaps reading aloud an interesting snippet from a magazine or newspaper, or commenting on a nice use of words. One study found that some 92 per cent of children enjoy reading books for fun, but their reading time takes a steep dive after age eight. It can be no surprise to find that this is the average age at which kids stop being read to.

Interestingly, too, if you make a bedtime story part of your child’s sleep-time routine, he is more likely to continue reading to himself at bedtime.