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Alcohol

When can my son drink alcohol legally?

In the UK, the legal drinking age is eighteen. This means your son can purchase and drink alcohol without an ‘adult’ being present. If he’s sixteen, he can have beer, cider or wine in a restaurant or a pub with an area set aside for meals, as long as the alcohol is served with food and he is accompanied by an adult. The rules are different for consuming alcohol on private premises, in other words, your home (see page).

What happens in Europe?

European countries typically have a legal drinking ages of sixteen or eighteen. For example, in the Netherlands, Germany, Switzerland and Austria, you have to be sixteen to buy beer or wine and eighteen to buy distilled alcoholic beverages (spirits).

What happens in the US?

In the US, the legal age for purchase or possession (but not necessarily consumption) in every state has been twenty-one since the passage of the National Minimum Drinking Age Act in 1984. Many states specifically allow consumption under the age of twenty-one for religious or health reasons or with parental approval. In Canada, the legal drinking age is eighteen in the provinces of Alberta, Manitoba and Quebec, and nineteen elsewhere.

At what age is it safe for children to drink small amounts of alcohol (at a celebration, for example)?

In the UK, serving a child alcohol in your own home is legally allowed from age five, but not recommended for health reasons. For one thing, even a small quantity of alcohol impairs judgement, and very little is required to become ‘drunk’ at such a tender age. Moreover, many doctors recommend that children under eighteen should not drink alcohol at all, because their bodies are still developing – in particular, the liver, which breaks down alcohol, is not fully developed until the age of about twenty-one. This is also the age at which the hypothalamus, the part of the brain most affected by alcohol, matures. Drinking before this age increases the risk of addiction; in fact, studies show that countries that allow youth drinking have a much higher incidence of adult alcoholism.

Having said that, a thimbleful of wine or champagne at a family celebration is unlikely to do any long-term damage. It’s worth noting, too, that parents who adopt an open policy about alcohol use, and take the time to educate their kids about the potential dangers while offering supervision, are less likely to have children who drink subversively – and over drink! After all, a child is less likely to get ‘drunk’ while a parent is around and if alcohol is not regarded as a forbidden fruit, it’s less likely to tempt kids, particularly in periods of rebellion.

What are the recommended safe levels of consumption?

It is certainly worth bearing in mind the recommended safe levels of alcohol consumption for adults and be even more cautious where your children are concerned.

Experts advise that men drink no more than 21 units of alcohol per week and no more than four units in any one day. Women should drink no more than 14 units of alcohol per week and no more than three units in any one day. One unit of alcohol is equivalent to a small 25 ml measure of spirits, 125 ml glass of wine or half a pint of ordinary strength beer.

When can you take a child into the pub?

You can take your child to the pub from any age, but he must be supervised by someone over the age of eighteen. He will not be able to enter the ‘bar’ of a pub, unless it has a children’s certificate, and if it does have a certificate, he can only go into parts of licenced premises where alcohol is either sold but not drunk (for example, a sales point for consumption away from the pub), or drunk but not sold (for example, a garden or family room).

Between the ages of fourteen and fifteen, your child can go anywhere in a pub, as long as he is supervised by an adult, but he may not drink alcohol. After the age of sixteen your child can buy or be bought beer, wine or cider to drink with a meal, if he’s with an adult. Otherwise, it is against the law for anyone under eighteen to buy or drink alcohol in a pub.

Children cannot go to the pub alone until they are sixteen.

When can my child have a glass of wine with dinner?

Theoretically, you can serve a small amount of wine with dinner from the age of five, but for obvious reasons this is not ideal!

Having said that, many children begin to experiment with alcohol outside the home between the ages of ten and fourteen, and a 2006 survey found that nine out of ten teenagers drank alcohol by the age of fifteen. The average age for drinking a whole ‘drink’ is twelve and a half.

One survey, published by the Centre for Public Health at Liverpool John Moores University, suggests that parents should teach their children to be sensible with alcohol by letting them have a glass of wine over dinner – from pre- to early teens. Researchers claim that teenagers who buy their own alcohol are more likely to be binge drinkers.

Professor Mark Bellis, who led the study, feels that parents should adopt a ‘Mediterranean approach’, where youngsters drink in moderation. He says sensible drinking is a ‘life skill’ and that ‘the ability to drink alcohol sensibly is not a gift people are born with but one that must be learnt’, confirming that ‘a Mediterranean approach to alcohol consumption, with food and with restraint, is unlikely to ever develop in the UK unless parents demonstrate such behaviours and help develop them in their children.’

My son wants alcohol served at his birthday party, because all his friends apparently serve drinks at their parties. He’s only sixteen. Is he old enough?

Drinking in a private home is acceptable from the age of five; indeed, it is legal for anyone over the age of five to drink alcohol. The age restrictions apply to purchasing (under eighteen years old) and location – on licensed premises or in alcohol-exclusion zones. So, theoretically, yes, you can legally serve alcohol at your son’s party.

There are, however, other factors to consider. The first is that you have a duty of care to children in your home – and if there is a problem with overdrinking or an accident caused by drinking, you may be held liable. What’s more, other parents may not actually have the same approach to teen drinking as you do, and will object to having their child served alcohol under the age of eighteen or outside their home.

If you feel comfortable with a small amount of alcohol being served, and the parents of his friends are in agreement, consider the following tips:

Make it clear to your child and his guests what is and is not allowed.

Act as barperson yourself, or ask another responsible adult to do so. Not every teenager is responsible or mature enough to make the right decisions about intake.

Limit what’s on offer – allowing, say, a beer or two per guest, or one or two glasses of wine or alcopop.

Don’t allow guests to bring drinks to the party (even soft drinks, as they may have been spiked with alcohol).

Offer plenty of non-alcoholic drinks so that kids don’t feel pressured to drink, and have an option when they’ve drunk their fill.

Make non-alcoholic drinks attractive and ‘fun’ if possible – a juice bar with plenty of ice, fruit, juices and fizzy drinks can make this option more appealing.

Avoid punches if you can – these are easily ‘spiked’ and it’s also harder to control who is drinking what.

Offer plenty of food alongside any drinks, to soak up the alcohol.

Make sure that all your young guests have a safe means of getting home.

How old does my daughter need to be in order to buy alcohol legally?

In the UK, your daughter can buy beer, wine or cider in a pub from the age of sixteen, as long as she has a meal alongside and is with an adult. She can purchase any type of alcohol from the age of eighteen, from any premises.

What is the law in Europe?

In Europe, legislation is much more relaxed. Most children will be served alcohol with meals in restaurants if they are accompanied by an adult; most parents serve alcohol at home with meals and at celebrations. The legal drinking age for purchasing alcohol and consuming it on licensed premises ranges from sixteen to twenty, with eighteen being the most common age limit.

What happens in the US?

Don’t expect to have a sniff of alcohol until you are at least twenty-one. Not only is it almost impossible to buy without an ID card stating your age, but there is a strong anti-alcohol ethos that encourages abstention until twenty-one.

How do I know if my son is drinking too much?

Unfortunately, binge-drinking is a part of today’s youth culture. It’s not social drinking as we know it, but more like an ‘extreme sport’ – where you drink until you pass out or vomit. Chances are that if your son is drinking, he may well be drinking too much. A few drinks a week may be acceptable for an older teenager or a little alcohol with meals, but his health (in particular his liver and brain) can be affected if he is drinking large quantities regularly. It is important that he learns moderation, and that you keep tabs on what is going on. Remember that most kids don’t worry about alcohol and its dangers, because it’s part of their culture, they see deaths or alcohol poisoning as freak accidents, and they think they are immortal.

If your child is drinking too much, it’s important that you talk to him (see page), to explain the risks and find out why he feels the need to drink excessively.

OBVIOUS SIGNS OF OVERDRINKING

Bloodshot eyes

Slurred speech, giddiness, dizziness

Unusual fatigue

Repeated health complaints

Personality change

Sudden mood changes

Irresponsible behaviour

Irritability

Poor judgement

Depression

General torpor or lack of interest

Argumentative

Withdrawing from the family

Secretiveness

Drop in grades

Absence at school

Truancy

Discipline problems

Changes to less conventional styles in dress and music

Sudden increase or decrease in appetite

Not coming home on time – or calling at the last minute to say they are staying elsewhere (they don’t want to be caught)

Not telling you where they are going

Constant excuses for behaviour

Spending a lot of time in their rooms

Lying about activities

Reduced memory and attention span

TIPS FOR KIDS

If your child has begun drinking, it’s worth giving him or her some advice about how to approach it in a sensible fashion. For example:

Don’t start drinking if you are angry, anxious or depressed. Alcohol can easily become a crutch.

Become aware of when you need to stop drinking – when your speech becomes slurred, when your memory is affected, when you find yourself being a little too open or brave, when you become dizzy or giddy.

If you drink too quickly it is impossible to monitor how intoxicated you are getting. Slow down and let the effects spread over a long enough period of time.

Eat when you drink whenever possible – it slows down the absorption of alcohol into the bloodstream.

Remember that a true friend will never let a friend drink and drive or to drink dangerously. In other words, good friends look out for each other.

Remember the dangers of alcohol – drinking a small bottle of spirits (or the equivalent in wine or beer) over an hour or two gives you a one in two chance of dying, according to the Emergency Services.

Don’t allow anyone to bully or intimidate you into drinking too much – or binge-drinking. No one who really cares about you will do this.

Should I allow alcohol in my home if my kids are under age?

This is a similar question to allowing drinks for celebrations and a little wine with dinner. There is clear evidence that children who grow up accustomed to moderate, restrained drinking with meals are less likely to binge-drink or to develop alcohol problems in later life. Therefore, there is something to be said for giving them a regular taste of the ‘forbidden fruit’, in order to dispel its potential power. You must, however, ensure that your children are supervised at all times, and that the amount drunk is strictly regulated. One small glass of wine or beer with a meal is adequate until the age of fifteen.

Your children may have friends who bring alcohol to parties or get-togethers. Whether you choose to allow this is up to you and your personal family policy on under-aged drinking.

What are the legal implications?

If your child or anyone in your care is under the age of sixteen, you are responsible for their health and safety. A houseful of drunk teenagers can not only lead to tragedy, but to criminal prosecution. You are well within your rights, therefore, on a legal basis, to deny drinking in your home. If you do consent, it would be sensible to ask permission from the parents of any child who will be present.

When should I educate my children about alcohol?

Young people who have access to alcohol – drinking at parties, friends’ houses, in the park – quite often drink to get drunk. The number of teenagers trying drink in their early teens is growing, often influenced by peer pressure and the media. The worry for parents is that it can also be linked to risky teenage behaviour such as unprotected and early sex. Several studies indicate that kids regularly drink from about age twelve, so it’s worth discussing the dangers of alcohol with them well before that time. In reality, discussions about alcohol can be a part of family conversation from a very early age.

What is safe drinking?

When kids get older, you can give them tips on safe drinking (see page), and also explain the effects of alcohol. Kids like facts because they can spout them when they feel cornered by peers.

Top tips

Talk openly about the potential dangers – from health to safety – in a practical way so they don’t tune out.

Remember your own behaviour will influence them. Be honest about the reasons why you or people in general like drinking as well as the negatives of alcohol.

Talk about how they may feel or what they may do under pressure – whether it is deciding what they do if they are offered a drink, or if a friend offers them a lift home after drinking.

Encourage your child to stick to lower-strength brands and not to drink too quickly.

Agree rules on parties and be around if your child has a party at home.

Make sure your child has a way of getting home safely at night.

Be wary of late-night changes of plan (staying at a friend’s at the last minute) – chances are your child is hiding something. Try to avoid this type of secretiveness.

Make them aware of the danger of drink-spiking and not putting themselves in vulnerable situations. Encourage your children and their friends to look out for each other.

Explore how alcohol affects people in different ways, and how it can make some people aggressive and up for a fight. Talk through ways of keeping safe and walking away from trouble.

Encourage your teenager to make sensible choices, by stressing the health risks involved rather than laying down the law or giving ultimatums.