Читать книгу You Can Win Your Ex Back: With the Right Plan You Can Repair What Broke Down So Well That Your Ex Will Come Running Back to You - Leanne M. Shine - Страница 8

By now you will have two lists. One that details all the things you think you said or did, or didn't, that harmed your relationship. The second list takes everything from the first and flips it over to its reverse creating a list of all the things you know you should have done better and will from now on.

Now, screw up the first list and throw it in the bin. Taking this action sends a clear message to your subconscious mind that the items on that list no longer matter.

You see, the problem with creating a list like the one you just threw away is the tendency you'll have to blame yourself for everything on the list. Throwing away the list is also a step in respecting the truth that blame is completely irrelevant now. You can blame yourself until you're blue in the face but that won't change the fact that your ex has left you. Or, you can blame your ex, and again, nothing will change. All blame gives you is negative feelings, thoughts and emotions that do nothing to help your cause.

Right now, say out loud:

"Punishment ends now. I won't punish myself or my ex for what has happened from this point forward. I won't blame myself, or blame my ex for anything that happened in the past. From now on, the only thing that matters is to think and act constructively, now and in the future."

If necessary, repeat this aloud many times until you can repeat it without reading it.

Was the breakup your fault? It doesn't matter. Was it your ex's fault? It doesn't matter. What matters is this: that you learn from what has happened so that you can take control of yourself to ensure it doesn't happen again because of anything you do or say.

Don't skip over this advice lightly for it is the very approach you need to stave off arguments, end future fights, and put yourself in a powerful state of mind to move towards attracting your ex back. Any kind of statement or action that revolves around blame or punishment is destructive to your goal of winning your ex back. From now on you must keep your mind on nothing but the task at hand - winning your ex back - and to succeed you must remain in a constructive frame of mind. The first step to doing that is to get past blame, guilt or the need to punish whoever was responsible.