Читать книгу Business Networking Simplified - Les Garnas - Страница 18

A lot of research has been conducted on how women and men develop patterns of interaction. One study became the basis of a best-selling book, You Just Don’t Understand, by Dr. Deborah Tannen, a professor of linguistics at Georgetown University. In tracing the socialization of boys and girls, Dr. Tannen points out that we start developing distinct ways of interacting with our friends during childhood. Girls play in small groups or pairs where intimacy is key and the center of their social life is a best friend. In games and other activities, rules are flexible, negotiable, and changed by group process. Boys’ activities and games are hierarchically structured, with a leader who tells others what to do. Their activities have winners and losers and elaborate systems of rules and procedure.

Although each individual is unique and no generalization will apply to every case, it seems that the patterns we developed in childhood continue to operate for many of us as adults. The implication is that women are oriented toward one-on-one, interpersonal relationships, while men get along with each other to achieve individual and group goals in the interest of team spirit.

Since the tips and techniques throughout this book were developed, tested and passed on to readers of this book from the perspective of a man, readers with a “feminine” interaction style need to make some minor adjustments in how they approach networking to fit their style: forming intimate relationships with a few trusted “friends.” This does not mean you have license to only network with a few people. It means it will most likely take you longer than it might take for others to build your networking cadre. All the well-established principles of networking apply, just at a different pace, if that is your comfort level.

Worthy of note: for both men and women, several factors influence how you approach networking. Certainly, your personality, interaction style and temperament play a big part. At opposite ends of the personality spectrum consider the “reserved” personality versus an “unabashedly outgoing” style. Generally, reserved people are relatively quiet in groups and hate going to events by themselves or talking to people they don’t know. They are likely to network by asking for referrals from people they already know and reach out to others reluctantly, unless there is a specific agenda initiated by another person. The unabashed outgoing type would call the Queen of England without thinking twice if it achieved a worthwhile goal. So if you find me suggesting a technique that you can’t imagine yourself doing, don’t do it—yet. There’s always another route you can take. The point is to do something to get you started and keep you moving. Over time, you will need to think about stretching and pushing yourself a bit. And after a while, I hope you will gain the confidence to try those networking moves you never thought you’d be able to do.

The next attribute we need to discuss is your networking energy.

“How will you go about achieving your desired results? The answer to this you can call strategy.”

–William E. Rothschild, Corporate Strategist