Читать книгу i am the love letter - lillian grace - Страница 8

ever since i came out as bisexual every other word

to come out of my mouth has been gay

it’s funny what being open about the person that you are can do to you

it’s funny how i can make gay jokes now

and people see that i’m not being offensive

i’m actually in a position where i’m joking about myself

it’s funny how no one had any interest in my dating life

until i said i was bisexual on a stage

don’t you think that’s funny?

september, fourteen years ago

my gayness is being her sneaky self

and hiding behind tall boys with bleached hair

and shorter ones who called me the love of their life

end of 7th grade, june

her pink, purple, and blue flag is found

waving from the top of every flagpole

her gayness was like a truckload of bricks

i took those bricks and shoved them right into my closet

where they lived for two years

april, freshman year

coming out was hard enough

i decided i, a dramatic theatre kid

would come out in a slam poem with the whole school watching

i’ve done plenty of spoken word pieces

since then, people have stood up

and left the room when i’ve started to speak

and yes, i’ve gotten tons of pity claps

because what does a fourteen-year-old

bisexual girl know about this world

because gay is an insult

right?

because our whole community definitely has enough space in the closet

right?

because who cares what people feel, there are only two genders

right?

because you gave us the right to marry who we love

and we need to stop asking for more, like basic human rights

right?

because electrocuting me

is going to rid me of the abomination that is me

right?

because wanting to kiss my girlfriend in a coffeehouse

on a Thursday night is too much to ask

because our love is a monster

right?

our love is a monster

right

we’re a monster

right?

i’m a monster

right?

see, i know my girlfriend

and if you told her she was a monster

she’d take it

she’d take it and use it as electricity in her veins

isn’t it funny how i used this poem

to ask her to be my girlfriend?

isn’t it funny how our love is love

and it’s as real as any other?

dear closeted queer young girls,

i’m always yours

because i was you

look at how far i’ve come

you’ll go so much further

love,

the older and way gayer me