Читать книгу The Yummy Mummy’s Family Handbook - Liz Fraser - Страница 30

Running a family is an expensive business. So expensive, in fact, that many people decide not to have a family at all, because they don’t think they can afford it. This is extremely sad—unless, of course, they are mean, ugly, child-hating bastards who would rather spend their pennies on spa-breaks and a wine cellar, thus making the rest of us jealous.

There are two facts about the average amount of money families in the developed world spend every month of which I am certain: one, it is colossal; and two, it doesn’t need to be.

If you need confirmation of either of these facts and have nothing better to do on a Saturday morning then pop down to your local Big Supermarket and take a look at the trolleys being pushed by puffing, panting, frowning parents towards the extra-large parking spaces reserved for those unsexy, environmentally catastrophic family cars. You will notice that these trolleys are piled far higher than can be deemed even remotely safe or elegant, with plastic bags literally bursting at the seams with stuff. Food, drink, clothing, electrical goods, garden tools, hoover bags, hair accessories, cleaning products, DVDs and nappies all fight for space before being loaded into the aforementioned Family Transportation Vehicles and ultimately consumed by starving and needy family members back at home.

And that’s just the supermarket. It’s a similar story in toyshops, clothing shops, DIY stores and—my personal favourite—interiors shops. Just look at all the stuff people are buying to keep every member of the family happy! It’s shocking, fairly sickening and it makes one wonder just how people survived before they were able to buy themselves into £30,000 worth of credit-card debt. Poor them.

No: poor, stupid us. We have somehow convinced ourselves that not having everything we desire is tantamount to failure and that a family without a newly fitted kitchen, a fridge full of fresh pasta and organic prawns, three holidays a year, enough clothes and toys to fill several large warehouses, a designer sofa, two flat-screen televisions and hot water on demand is a family that is letting things slip.

There are, of course, two schools of thought on running your finances. The first is to say ‘I am going to spend less than I earn, and save the rest for a rainy day, or for a time when I am buying something frivolous and pretty that will make up for the fact that my boobs are getting so saggy.’ This is the school I attend, and it is rather dull and safe, but it means I know there’s something in the bank should I need it. When I get paid less, I spend less. If I hit a particularly cash-rich phase, I spend a little more. Usually on shoes.

The second way of looking after your money is to say ‘You only live once, and what I want I shall have. When I die, somebody else can pay off the debt.’ Credit was invented for people who think this way, and the almost £1 trillion worth of debt in this country seems to indicate that there are quite a lot of them. On the face of it, it’s a wonderful way to live: ‘What the lady wants, the lady shall have’ has always been a dream of mine.

But there are obvious drawbacks. Being in debt is very expensive. Credit-card companies don’t just lend you the money, after all—they want it back with a little sweetener, in the form of interest. That holiday didn’t cost you £1,000, more like £1,200 and a lot of worry. Living beyond your means is risky, and any kind of risk brings with it the biggest wrinkle-producer after a week in Majorca: stress. However much fun people may seem to be having, spending all that non-existent money on designer kids’ clothes and new sofas, they are living under quite a lot of stress, and this can become so bad that families crack under the strain and no amount of Botox can fix the furrows.

Of course families are expensive, but they needn’t be cripplingly so. There are simple ways of reducing the monthly bills that don’t require you to move into a yurt and wear shirts made of old bits of sacking cloth. Try some of these and you should have some pennies left over for treats for all the family. Just not too many, mind…

Go Green. There is a full list of all the Green things your household could, and probably should, be doing on page 403, and most of them not only help to save the planet but can also save your wallet from being permanently empty as well.

Spend cash. Few people carry much, if any, cash any more, but if you want to cut down on family spending then try only paying in cash for a month. You’ll be amazed at the number of things you don’t buy because you haven’t got the dosh to hand, or because handing over all those notes hurts too much, and which you never miss at all.

Compare prices. This applies everywhere, of course (why pay £4.99 for a T-shirt which is only £1.99 down the road if it’s going to get wrecked within a month anyway?), but especially to your utility bills. Oh, it’s so boring and dreary, but if you can be bothered to do a little research you might find you’re spending much more than you need be. And that extra cash means treats for you all, Mrs Economical. Try www.moneysupermarket.com or www.pricerunner.co.uk.

Use leftovers. Leftovers have an element of suspense and surprise that eludes the boring ‘Here’s something I have prepared from start to finish’ dishes: you never know what you will find hiding in there, and with a little imagination you can rustle up something truly unique—and free! Leftovers are also essential for late-night hunger pangs: cold curry, straight out of the box, is to die for at midnight. Put larger quantities of leftovers straight in the freezer, so it doesn’t go off if you forget about it—as you invariably will.

Shop late. Supermarkets are always desperate to get rid of stock that is about to go off, and you can pick up some real bargains in the evenings. As most manufacturers err on the side of super-caution when it comes to best-before dates, even something that is best before today is still pretty damned good most of the time. I sometimes go at this time if I’ve been stuck in the house with kids all day, and just fancy getting out for half an hour. Be warned, though: doing this regularly is bound to lead to some kind of late-night-shopping crush on that gorgeous student who comes in every Thursday to buy more coffee and cheese. Go home, fast.

Check the label. Compare prices per unit as well as actual packet prices: often you are paying more per unit for, say, nappies, than another make, because it’s not clearly marked. They like to catch us out.

Tantric shopping. I do this with most of my purchases over a tenner. If I see something I desperately want (usually because Kate Moss has worn something similar or because InStyle says it’s this season’s ‘must buy’), I’ll look, yearn, and walk away. If it’s still there when I look a second time, maybe a few days later, I salivate for a while, and maybe even try it on, but I leave wanting more again. Finally, when I can stand it no longer, I’ll check one last time, and if it’s still there in my size, it was meant to be: I reach straight for the G-spot in my wallet, and leave with a big smile on my face. This kind of delay tactic can save you a fortune, as the joy of buying often lasts no longer than a day, after which we’d rather we hadn’t spent the money. Giving it a day or two to be sure avoids all those ‘Damn, why did I buy that?’ irritations.

Buy in bulk. There are precious few positive things to be said about the big, out-of-town supermarkets, but if you are trying to economise then they can help. Buying larger sizes, economy packs, buy-one-get-one-free and other ‘the more you get, the more you save’ promotions do make a big difference to your monthly bills. Buy local for fresh items such as meats, fish and vegetables if you can and for occasional top-ups, but for the big monthly shop a big super-duper-market is cheaper.

Going cheap! As you cannot fail to have noticed, vintage is the biggest style must-have so far this millennium. What this means in non-fashion circles—i.e. for you and me—is that anything old, cheap and utterly bargainous is hot, hot, hot! This is the only trend I have ever been way ahead of: I’ve been buying clothes, toys and furniture at car-boot sales, jumble sales, second-hand stalls and flea markets for years, but not because I am stylish—merely because it’s cheap. Why spend £80 on a child’s bicycle when you can pick up a perfectly good one for under a tenner? Start thinking like this and you’ll be rolling in it.

Grande skinny overdraft. The explosion of the coffee culture in the UK over the last ten years has, on one level, had a positive effect on many people, who now take ten minutes out of their hectic day to sit, read the paper, meet friends, or just think and watch the world go by. Ahhh. On most other levels—the terrifying amount of caffeine we consume, the enormous wastage as gallons of milk and piles of cups and packets of sweetener are thrown away etc.—it isn’t quite so wonderful. And on our wallets it can be catastrophic: even if you buy only four coffees a week, which is far less than many people do, that’s almost £350 per year on coffee! Throw in a few muffins and pastries and you are well on the way to drinking away a weekend break and a new school PE kit.

Look after the pennies. It shouldn’t be surprising that many filthy rich people use second-class stamps, get their shoes mended rather than buying new ones, and know where to buy the cheapest pint of milk. Being penny-wise is a habit that can be hard to adopt, but once you’re there, and can see that the pounds really do look after themselves, you will be grateful for the new outlook. They didn’t get rich by frittering it away on clothes and take-aways, did they?

Sell your unwanted items. Good old eBay. Once upon a time selling things you no longer wanted—or never really wanted in the first place—was a nightmare and required enormous amounts of time, dedication and disappointment. Nowadays you can sell almost anything you could ever imagine, in whatever used, worn, tattered or stretched form it comes in, with less effort than it takes to put it all in bags and drive to the local charity shop or rubbish dump. Somebody out there wants it, and all you have to do is put it online, sit back and wait for the ‘Congratulations!’ notice to appear. That’s one empty cupboard and £20 for the lady in the corner.

Eat in. Eating out is a luxury. It is not something you are entitled to, or need to do in order to get through a week, but a real indulgence. It is also very addictive—what’s not to like about having somebody else cook and wash up for you?—but sadly, in this country at least, it is also prohibitively expensive. Eating for two is bad enough, but bring your kids along for a couple of plates of food they won’t eat, and drink they will spill everywhere, and you are talking about at least £50 for a fairly stressful evening, and that’s without the service charge. Unless you are really raking it in then eat at home as often as possible.

Forget take-aways. When I say ‘eat at home’ I don’t mean ‘but still get somebody else to cook for you’. Take-aways are only marginally less expensive than eating in a restaurant, and they are often less healthy than anything you could cook at home for a fraction of the price. Of course it’s fun to do every now and then, but if you are watching the pennies—and the waistline—then more than once a month is asking for trouble.

Economy brain. People who manage not to fritter away all their money do so because their brains are hardwired to economising. It’s very annoying for the rest of us, who can’t walk past Zara without a strong, invisible force pulling us towards the door, but if you can start to think just a little bit sensibly about money you will soon find yourself buying three-for-twos without even realising it, and the family kitty will get heavier again.

Be a voucher vulture. Some of my friends are so good at this that they haven’t paid for a family holiday, trip to the cinema or meal out for years. Store reward points can be exchanged for everything from a meal to a trip to Legoland, and if you can be bothered to read all the options and save up then you can really win. Loyalty cards are also great for getting things for free, whether it’s a cup of coffee, a haircut or a DVD rental. Keep a lookout for such cards and start collecting!

Your back must be aching by now, so come on out of this tiny little cupboard and let us head somewhere much more exciting, noisy and spacious…