Читать книгу The Yummy Mummy’s Family Handbook - Liz Fraser - Страница 40

I come from a family where this condition is rife, and I really, really hate it. Everyone sets out to out-exhaust everyone else, citing all the tasks they’ve had to do, how little sleep they’ve had, how stressed they are, how ill they are, and how their life is just so much harder and more exhausting than anyone else’s! It’s nothing more than a big, childish quest for sympathy, attention and cuddles, and it doesn’t work: it just pisses everybody off.

If you feel yourselves slipping into such a scenario, then learn from someone who has lived with it for years, and try to make changes as soon as possible:

Identify why it’s happening. Whether it’s you or your partner, try to think of why there is such need to explain how much work is being done or how much you/they are suffering. It’s almost certainly due to feeling down, lacking attention or being in some way jealous of each other’s life. Silly, I know, but very common.

Stop it. This kind of behaviour is very hard to stop once you get into the habit, so stop as soon as you feel it coming on. If it’s been going on for a while, then you’ll have to get help with it, so get the whole family involved: ask your partner or children to point out when someone is starting out on a ‘my life is so hard’ rant, and have a chat about what’s the matter instead. Often someone just needs a bit of love and some help with some chores, and they feel much better.

Listen to yourself. Nobody can sound anything other than pathetic, miserable, attention-seeking or self-obsessed when listing all the things they’ve done, saying how tired they are or moaning about the amount of work they still have to do. If you can hear how awful you sound, you might snap out of it.

You are part of a team. Families are a bit like teams, and the whole point is to work together to support and encourage one another. Banging on about how hard you have it immediately causes a rift in the team, usually resulting in bad words in the dressing room and studded, muddy boots being thrown. Don’t. You have to work together and not compete against one another.