Читать книгу The Good Behaviour Book: How to have a better-behaved child from birth to age ten - Martha Sears - Страница 72

You can often correct a child without saying a word. I have noticed that master disciplinarians use a look of disapproval that stops the behaviour but preserves the child’s self-image, a type of “I mean business” look. Martha, after disciplining eight children, has mastered “the look”: head turned a bit, eyes probing, just the right facial gesture and tone of voice to convey to the child, “I don’t like what you’re doing, but I still feel connected to you. I know that you know better.” Remember, your eyes will disclose what you are really thinking and feeling. If you are feeling anger or contempt toward your child, that’s what she will read in your eyes. If one or both of you recognize this is happening, you will have to apologize for the harshness of the feelings communicated toward her person by “the look”. Be sure that stop signs and stop sounds stop the behaviour and not the growth of self-worth in your child. Your child should understand that you disapprove of the behaviour, not the child. Follow the look with a hug, a smile, or a forthright explanation: “I don’t like what you did, but I do like you.”