Читать книгу Mustard Seeds - Melissa Levi - Страница 35

The Show Must Go On

3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

Romans 5:3-5

All three first grade classes crowded into Miss Milligan’s classroom excited to hear the decisions for the roles in the upcoming PTA Parent’s night play. I sat on the rug, legs folded beneath me, fingers crossed and sweaty with excitement. I hoped that this time I would be chosen for a real role, I was done with being trees, daffodils and rocks. I was ready for a part with meat! Finally, the forest fauna and animals had been cast. Would I be banished to the chorus, or was there a role for me this time? I squeezed my already blood starved fingers tighter in their cross and repeated my mental mantra, “Let me get a part, let me get a part!”

My heart pounded as the excitement mounted.

Then the teacher announced. “The part of the “Ugly Duckling” goes to Missy Levi.

“Yes! Yes!” I screamed in my brain. Finally, I had a real part! I would stand center stage before the entire PTA. My character would morph from the ugly duckling to the beautiful swan. I would strip away the yellow mundane costume of the duckling and expose the pristine white feathers of the swan. There before the whole elementary I would be the Swan! The sole occupant of the spotlight! They would gasp at my beauty and the auditorium would erupt with applause as people scrambled to their feet. Roses would pile up around me and the cheers would ring for me. My mom would be so proud the other girls would weep in jealousy it would be the greatest production of The Ugly Duckling my elementary or any elementary had ever seen!

“And finally the part of the Beautiful Swan goes to Stephanie Warner!”

What? What did she mean the beautiful swan would be Stephanie Warner? I was the star! Me! I was the duckling that got to become the swan, me not Stephanie Warner!

I cried a lot over that play. I did not want to do it. I tried to get my mom to tell Miss Milligan I could not do it. I did not want to participate at all. In fact, I asked mom if I could change schools. I would have done anything to keep from having to be the ugly duck of the first grade.

Miss Milligan’s first grade class was a long time ago, but the lesson from that experience has stuck with me. More than once through the years I have had a path chosen for myself and it was disrupted. Loss of loved one, loss of job, dissolved marriage, illnesses, foreclosure, lost pregnancy, lack of money, broken relationships and I could just keep typing the tragedies. Tragedies many of you have endured as well.

It is not easy to accept alterations of our plans. We are disappointed, angry, and sad, confused and bitter sometimes. However, we must continue on through the tears, through the insomnia, the embarrassment, the ridicule of others and frustration.

The show must go on.

My mom made me do the play. Even if I did not understand why she did at the time she knew that if I could not handle doing the play how I would ever be able to stand up to a life that is full of disappointment. She put together a cute duckling outfit with a huge orange bill that strapped to my face. I sat in the plastic pool in front of the assembly with kids dressed in tree and flower costumes behind me, the chorus kids to the left and I quacked as the narrator read the story. I left the stage and Stephanie Warner burst forth in her swan outfit.

It may not have been my debut, but it was a lesson that I think of now and again. We may have grand plans for ourselves, but that is not always the plan of our Father. He knows the paths and plans that are best for us. His paths lead us to a closer relationship with Him, people we may have never met along our own trail and opportunities to share His love and mercy with others.

Though times can be painful and we just do not want to face them, we must with the assurance that He is there with us, guiding us and making something great through it all.