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ОглавлениеYour Personal Agreement
It’s time to be really clear on what it is you want and why. Take a few minutes to complete this Personal Agreement.
On a separate sheet of paper or in your journal, write out the answers to the blanks below. The answers will help you get started and stay motivated.
1) I resolve to commit to this 8-week 8 to Your IdealWeight Course so that…
2)My extra weight has been challenging in many ways, including…
3) These challenges have resulted in more problems and issues such as…
4) I am ready and willing to be coached because I have found that the old ways have not worked. This has resulted in feeling…
5) Without help, a year from now I will still…
6) I am ready to reach and maintain my IdealWeight with this program, which will result in my feeling…
7) This will benefit me in so many areas of my life, including…
8) To summarize my Why for choosing this new lifestyle in just a few words, it would be…
9) To do this I am willing to…
10) I deserve and welcome abundant happiness and health because…
I am making this 8-week commitment to myself to Get Real, Get Healthy and Get Empowered in order to live my best life, to release my sugar addiction and guilt about food forever, and to learn to truly love my body and myself.
This is the first day of the best of my life.
| ___________ | ___________ |
| DATE | SIGNATURE LINE |
Congratulations! Keep a copy of this commitment form in sight for the next 8 weeks. Read it regularly until it’s a part of who you are.
The Power of Release - The Goodbye Letter
Ideals, our spirits have been hungry. We have been hungry for acceptance, for love, for respect, for happiness, for forgiveness, and for a sense of worthiness and honor. We have looked for these things in our jobs, our spouses, our children, our parents, our bank accounts and our mirrors, but we still found ourselves starving…for what they could not give us.
We are lovable and we are loved. That is the truth that can nourish and refresh us whenever we remember it. With this knowing, we can courageously confront the lie of not enough - that thief that has stolen our joy and kept us from living our best and sweetest lives.
We haven’t just been duped about sugar over the years, but also about our innate worth. If someone told you that you were a genius, would you believe them? Most of us would say, “No.” Yet how many of us believe the opposite when someone labels us that way?
The fact is that you are a genius. One of the definitions of genius is “a natural ability.” Admit it. You have special gifts that no one else on earth has. Your unique life journey, intuition and connection to your Higher Power have given you insights, wisdom and power that you have never fully acknowledged.
Like Simba in The Lion King and Elsa in Frozen, we have been running away from acknowledging our wisdom and our courage, yet these very gifts have been with us all along.
It’s time to use that courage to come home to ourselves - to acknowledge that we have allowed our body and spirits to be abused by sugar, and that sugar has isolated us and made us feel unlovable. Today the abuse ends as we say goodbye to our extra weight and our old habits.
Sugar Was My Abusive Partner
Chelsea, a wife, Mom, speech therapist and 8 to Your IdealWeight Coach saw abuse as a pattern in her life. One she’d never seen in herself…
As I went through the 8 to Your IdealWeight program, I realized how much sugar reminded me of an abusive partner.
Growing up I had a friend who always seemed to pick the worst guys. They were losers who would treat her awful 90 percent of the time; and the other 10 percent when they were half-way decent, it was just to get what they wanted.
Once the abuse started, mentally and physically, I would beg her to stop seeing them. Unfortunately, all I could do was be there for her when she would need comfort after a rough patch. I would tell her over and over how she didn’t deserve this, but she always went back because somehow the addictive actions and words of those men were able to get into her head more than I was. It wasn’t easy to watch, but I always hoped one day she would get angry enough to stop the cycle.
I can see now that sugar has been an abusive boyfriend to my mind and body. The headaches, body aches, and extra weight were evidence of a sick love affair with sugar - much like bruises from a violent relationship. It treated me badly, and I kept going back because, for a minuscule amount of time, it felt good. The other 95 percent of the time I allowed it to do horrible things. My mind and body have cried out with signals like pain or illness begging me to protect them.
Nowadays I am befriending myself and loving my body. I am learning I deserve so much better and will be so much better off without sugar addicting my body and tainting my amazing mind. I am kicking out my abusive partner.
I have finally broken the cycle of sugar’s abuse. The journey this program has taken me on is one for which I am, and will be, eternally grateful.
- Chelsea Phipps,
8 to Your IdealWeight Coach
Facing Ourselves
Your life is about to change. If you have a smartphone or camera, take a “before” selfie of your full body with your clothes on. (In the mirror may work the best.) It will feel good to look back at your “before” pictures down the road. If you feel uncomfortable keeping it, you can always delete it or throw it away.
A Goodbye Letter to Your
Extra Weight
There is nothing as powerful as our own words, and it’s time to put yours on paper in the form of a goodbye letter.
If you don’t have a journal, get some writing paper and a pen. Find a quiet place to sit with a writing surface where you won’t be disturbed. If you can, prepare yourself for this writing time by listening to an inspirational song like, “Brave” by Sara Bareilles, “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten, or the gently powerful “Try” by Colbie Caillat.
First decide what or who you will write to. You may write it to your extra weight, acknowledging the purpose it served, and saying a respectful farewell, or you may write it to a particular food that you turned to for comfort in the past.
It may feel uncomfortable at first. Let it. It’s perfectly normal to feel anger, sadness, fear, regret or anything else. Just allow your feelings to flow through you as you write. To feel is to heal.
When you’re finished with the letter, you can share it with your partner, coach or small group, and then burn it, or burn it immediately. Either way, letting go will help you start this journey with a clear resolve and a heart that’s free.
Here is an example of the power of release from an Ideal who eventually released 50+ pounds and reclaimed her freedom:
Dear Extra Weight,
You have been surrounding me and covering me with your soft, jello-like form. On sad days and lonely nights you were all I had, and at the time it seemed like you were my only solace. As I lived with your comforting ways you grew and grew and GREW. Your growth alarmed me and I chose to handle it by not looking in the mirror, telling myself at my age it didn’t matter because I had no one in my life to impress anyway. I tried to shrink you and make you go away, but you hung on for dear life and continued to grow. I saw that I had made a huge mistake inviting you in.
You kept me from going out. I was embarrassed to see old friends, knowing they would wonder why I let you join me. I was embarrassed to meet new friends knowing they would not be able to see the true me as you surrounded me so completely that my true identity was hidden. You made me cry…a lot.
Then by a (blessed) chance I met a stranger who told me of a plan that just might send you out the door. That’s why I’m giving you a swift kick! Out of my life Extra Weight! I’m releasing you! This is a one-way ticket, no returns! In the next 8 weeks I am going to see your sorry behind disappear for good! I will see you melt away like Frosty the Snowman did on that sunny day. Good riddance and O Happy Day!
- Hanni H.
Now it’s time to let your heart speak its truth.
The Butterfly Meditation
Once you have completed and burned your letter, honor the sacred moment of transformation with a deep breath, and if it feels good, spend a few minutes in a cleansing meditation such as this one:
Close your eyes and see yourself stepping into a cocoon that closes around you. Take 8 slow, deep breaths. With each breath, say “I love and accept myself unconditionally.” Slowly feel yourself transforming inside the cocoon and experiencing the miracle of metamorphosis into a beautiful butterfly.
Then imagine yourself breaking out of your cocoon, spreading your wings … and soaring!
Mirroring Your Power -
The Mirror Mantra
“My husband just posted this under our photo in our church directory, ‘Dale loves Debbie.’ I know our renewed romance after all these years is because I finally love me.”
- Debbie G.
Next it’s time to start your daily Mirror Mantra.
In the past, our relationship with mirrors has not always been affirming, and often we avoided them because of the pain they awakened in us. It’s time for that to change.
From now on, each morning when you first get up, look yourself in the mirror and take a deep breath. Then, while looking into your eyes, say the words below aloud. When you reach the third phrase, fill it in with a word that feels good to you that day, such as“enough,”“amazing,”“powerful,”“worthy,”“courageous,”“committed,”“strong,”“transforming,”“resilient,”“awesome,”“my hero,”“phenomenal,” or“beautiful.”
As you speak this daily mantra, feel the shift of beliefs within you as the days go by. Feel the power of your words as they change your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions.
What you think
Determines what you feel
Which determines what you do
Which determines who you are
Speaking Your Power:
Freedom Phrases
As we experience with the Mirror Mantra, our words are powerful. Here are some re-phrases that will refresh our spirits and renew our hope. As you replace the old phrasing with the new, you will reboot how you think and how you feel.
Replace “I lost weight.”
(You don’t want to find it again!)
with “I am releasing my extra weight.”
Replace naming sugary food items such as,
“I was tempted by the birthday cake.”
(When we picture it, we often want it.)
with the word “sweets.”
Replace “I can’t seem to….”
(Your brain believes you!)
with “I haven’t yet….”
Replace “I need to…”
(You are all that you need already.)
with “I am going to…”
”Replace “Fat…”
(We’re releasing this painful word from our vocabulary.)
with “extra weight.”
Replace “I’m on a diet”
(Diets are temporary.)
with “I love my Get Real Program for life…”
Replace “I’ll try…”
(The mind hears the word as struggle.)
with “I will…” or “I’ll do my best.”
Replace “He/She makes me so…”
(No one can make us happy or sad.)
with “I feel a little ___ when she/he/you…”
Replace “I should”
(Don’t should on yourself or other people.)
with “I could…” or “I’m going to…”
Replace “This is hard.”
(It’s as hard as we believe it is.)
with “This is new.”
Soon you’ll be saying “This is easy.”
Remember this:
If you wouldn’t say it to a friend,
don’t say it to yourself.
Willpower vs. Willing Power -
Trusting Your Coach
“These days, not only are the scales measuring my success, but so is the mirror - I can’t stop smiling!”
- Melva N.
You have stated that you are ready and willing to be coached. It will make all the difference in your results.
Think back for a minute. Who have been your greatest coaches?
My “Willing” Decision
When my counselors at the shelter told me not to so much as mention my husband’s name for four weeks, it was hard. But I reminded myself that if I knew better than they did, I wouldn’t have landed myself there.
I noticed the other women in the program ignored the rule, and spoke of their exes every chance they had. As it turned out, I was the only woman out of the seven of us that did not return to a violent relationship. The fact that I was willing to be coached made all the difference.
We always have a choice - with any coaching resource - to trust or not to trust the advice we’re given.
When you trust the process in this book, it means that for 8 weeks you’ll be all in. It means you’ll see me as your Personal Coach and be coachable.
How a Coach Benefits Us
A Coach invites us to do things we would otherwise not do. She challenges us to do things we believe at first we cannot do. With our Coach we step into a new level of courage, first to trust their lead, then to trust our own inner wisdom.
A Coach calls us to commit, to make a promise to ourselves and keep it. Her main concern is not to make us comfortable, but to move us to a new level on the playing field of life, which is often uncomfortable. She knows that real progress takes commitment and perseverance, and that once achieved, it will bring us to a feel-good place that lasts a lifetime.
I have been coaching people of all ages for the past 25 years, and take my responsibility as your coach very seriously. From the days in my 30s as a weight-loss program lecturer, to having trained over 2,500 people as trainers for my 8 to Great and 8 to Your IdealWeight process, I am excited about getting to coach you now.
The Benefits of a Small Group
If you decide to join the online 8 to Your IdealWeight Community, you’ll be part of a small group of 8-10 under the direction of a Certified 8 to Your IdealWeight Coach and select or be assigned a partner within that group. Your weigh-in will be with the Coach instead of your partner.
The advantages of small group membership are numerous. It brings with it a feeling of normalcy. As you hear the stories of others, you’ll know you are not alone. You’ll share daily encouragements and weekly celebrations. Our Coaches are personally living this program and are as committed as you are to your well-being and success.
In addition to the weekly check-ins with your partner, you’ll also receive:
A day planner/journal
Daily check-ins with your group on Facebook (see below)
Two live Conference Calls each week
Optional 1-on-1 Coaching with your Personal Coach
An optional Alum Facebook page and weekly newsletters for one year following the 8 weeks
More information is available at www.8toyouridealweight.com, or by calling 828-242-9033.
Bottom line: whether I am your only Coach, or you reach out to a Certified Coach and small online group for additional support, your success will depend on your willingness to trust.
The Daily Partner/Small Group Check-in
Each day for these eight weeks, email or text your partner with a Y (Yes) or an N (No) for five accountability goals. To help remember them, they’re in alphabetical order:
F for First meal if you ate breakfast with some protein. N if you did not. There are many on-program breakfasts in the Resource Section of this book.
F for Fitness if you moved more than you did before starting this program. This could be as simple as taking the stairs instead of the elevator or walking around the block after dinner.
F for Food program if you followed the Real Food S.A.A.B. guidelines.
F for Freedom if you released your excess stuff, items such as clothes, household items or old magazines. *
G for sharing 3 new Gratitudes each day with your partner via email, text, FB messaging, phone or in person. (More in High-Way 7).
* In all my years of coaching, I’ve never known someone who wanted to release extra weight that didn’t also need to release excess material things as well.
Remember to share your Y’s and N’s with your partner through email or text every day for these 8 weeks. (In the online class, you’ll share them with your entire small group and coach each day.)
First Meal (Eating Breakfast)
Fitness (Moving Our Bodies)
Food Program (Releasing Sugar Addiction)
Freedom (Release of Excess Stuff)
Gratitude (Sharing 3 New Gratitudes Each Day)
Heartwork in Preparation
1. Watch the documentaries, “That Sugar Film” and “Fed Up” (the version with narrator Katie Couric). Both are 90 minutes and both can be found on iTunes or Amazon.
2. Clear your cupboards. If your family will prefer to keep off-program foods around, put them on a separate shelf in the refrigerator and in a separate cupboard if possible.
“I always cook for my family on the 8 to Your IdealWeight plan. (I haven’t told them and they haven’t even noticed a difference - 4 months now!) I regularly get comments from my husband like, ‘restaurant quality meal,’ ‘best meal so far,’ and ‘this is my favorite.’ He now has many favorites and I’m so happy about that.”
- Ann S.
Partner/Reflection Questions
For your initial partner sharing, reflect and/or journal answers to these questions. Then discuss your responses with your partner and/or Coach.
1. Start your first call by discovering 3 things you have in common other than that you’re in this program.
2. Where and when do you feel (have you felt) most powerful?
3. When and to whom do you sometimes give your power away?
4. Share your answers to these questions:
How will your testimonial read once you successfully reach your IdealWeight?
How will your IdealLife feel at your IdealWeight?
5. If you’re willing, share your Goodbye letters with each other.
“I can only be loved as much as I allow myself to be known. As long as I hide, if someone says they love me, my ego whispers, ‘They wouldn’t say that if they really knew you.’ And then we don’t let love in.”
- John Maxwell,
author of “How Successful People Think”
