Читать книгу 8 Strategies for Successful Step-Parenting - Nadir Baksh Psy.D. PsyD - Страница 10

Becoming a step-parent means that you are going to have to walk boldly into your new role with confidence, forgiving yourself for past mistakes, applauding your achievements thus far, and, regardless of the speed bumps you are likely to encounter as you and your step-children learn about each other, do your best to stay aware of the ways you allow someone else to define you. Your identity is unique. Good, bad or otherwise, you need to own it before you can improve upon it or delight in it. You are not just someone’s wife or husband, someone’s friend or parent, a good cook or a poor housekeeper. You have hopes and dreams, you have innate talents, you see the world in a way unique only to you. There are no rules to being an individual, with the exception that individuality means that you cannot be the clone of someone else and expect your spirit to survive.

Before you lose yourself in the mix of children and step-children, spouses and former spouses, external family members through bloodlines and marital lines, you can move toward being centered in yourself. Once you have become familiar with who you are, who you have become, and who you strive to be, you will be surprised at the new-found confidence that accompanies this knowledge. You are less likely to waver when you feel overwhelmed; you will not be so desperate to fit in to your new family that you give away all your values; and you will not be so insecure that you cling to old habits that never really worked anyway. This is your moment to shine. This is your moment to take the step into adulthood where your stories, your laugh, your intellect, your wisdom and even your blunders are welcomed.