Читать книгу Clouded Judgement - NICHOLA HARVEY - Страница 11

HAVING SPENT THE MORNING running around in the scorching heat, I thumped down in the chair and leaned back, grateful for the cooling vent above as it fanned my overheated face. “It’s bloody boiling out there.”

“I feel sorry for anyone who doesn’t have the luxury of air-conditioning,” Emily rambled, slouching in her seat and propping her Roman sandal-clad feet up on the desk.

“I’m glad I have it, as well as the pool, which I’ll be jumping into the second I get home.” I sighed and took a sip of water from the bottle I’d purchased from the café downstairs on my way back. “Do you mind if we have lunch downstairs today? This awful weather is making me feel nauseous, and I don’t feel up to walking too far.” Strangely enough, though, I was starving. Pregnancy was weird that way.

“Sure.”

Considering I was hungry, I picked. Instead of eating my choice of salad, quinoa and brown rice with grilled salmon, I pondered, blocking out the noises flowing around me. Chattering became indistinct as did the clatter of dishes and the scraping of chairs. Emily too became a victim of my vague state. Mind you I think I’d switched off well and truly before she began eating her Thai beef salad amidst prattling on about a guy she’d started dating only a few weeks prior to my disclosure. She might have possibly told me. But I surmised the preoccupation of my past, present and future may have caused it to slip my mind.

Although time had passed since giving full disclosure, the drama consequently following still weighed heavily—likewise, the bothersome tension brewing amongst Ari’s immediate family. A discord I’d triggered, and equally, it ran along the same parallel lines as my morning sickness, persistently annoying as well as arduous.

Ari’s family wasn’t the only it seemed as Emily suddenly vexed her frustration at my lack of attention, making me bear witness to a temper she’d never shown before.

Startled by the fork slamming onto the boho patterned ceramic plate, I jumped in my seat. “Was that necessary, Emily?”

“Have you heard anything I’ve said? At all?”

My brows furrowed as I met her blazing gaze. “Honestly, no. I must have zoned out there for a minute.”

“Oh, it’s great to see you’re interested in whatever I have to say!” she chastened, hurt marring her voice.

“I wasn’t doing it intentionally!” I shot back defensively, dropping my cutlery either side of my plate.

She scoffed. “What, just because my life isn’t as exciting as yours, it’s not worth listening to in your eyes?”

“I’ve always shown an interest in your life!” I argued, deliberately lowering my voice at the realisation our intense argument had attracted attention. “And simmer down, people are staring at us.” I winced. I sounded like the one person I never wanted to aspire to be; my mother.

Emily’s aggrieved gaze glanced around the café. “Yeah, so. They should learn to mind their own business.”

“Don’t be petulant, Ems,” I scolded. “I do listen to you, and I’m sorry I wasn’t earlier. I’ve just got a lot going on right now, no excuse I know.”

“You’ve been distracted for months now. I thought we talked about everything, and lately, you’ve refused to share anything with me.”

Sighing heavily, I picked up the napkin in my lap, twisting it between my fingers as I contemplated. But it had become clear that Emily’s patience had grown thin with me as she noticeably huffed at me.

“Well, are you going to enlighten me, or are you going to continue treating me like my feelings don’t matter to you?”

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply; count, Teddy, and just breathe.

In the end, I concluded giving her the briefest of explanations was better than nothing. “Something terrible happened to me when I was fifteen, and now…” I swallowed noisily. “…it’s reared its ugly head. I don’t want to go into any detail, as it’s not pretty. So, can you trust that when the time comes, I will tell you more?”

A defeated Emily held up both hands. “Fine. I’ll accept that for now. Just remember I’m here for you too, okay?”

Nodding stiffly and wordlessly, I quietly grasped the fork and resumed my salad.