Читать книгу How Not to Act Old: 185 Ways to Pass for Cool, Sound, Wicked, or at Least Not Totally Lame - Pamela Satran Redmond - Страница 10
Оглавление#4 Don’t Fear the Waxer
Listen, you can have all the work in the world done. You can get Botoxed and Restalyned till you’re smooth as a balloon; you can have your boobs lifted to your chin and your tummy tucked into your backbone.
But if you don’t wax down there, anybody who gets close enough – and that includes the entire changing room at the gym – is going to know you’re old.
Waxing is one of the major differences between young and older women. We came of age feeling it was sacrilegious to so much as pluck one hair; they decided to shear most of it off. And even when we thought maybe we’d surprise our husbands for our twentieth anniversary, we were nervous. We saw The 40-Year-Old Virgin, after all. We knew it was going to hurt, plus be embarrassing, plus who knew what kind of diseases we might pick up.
If you’re a Waxing Virgin, don’t be afraid. It’s not that bad. And the alternative is even worse: old below the belt.
40-YEAR-OLD BIKINI-WAXING VIRGIN? 9 THINGS TO EXPECT
1 The waxer will be waaaay more comfortable than you. After all, she’s done this lots of time before.
2 While it’s not strictly necessary to trim your pubic hair before you get waxed, waxing is easier if the hair is shorter to begin with, so you may want to get a head start.
3 If you’re getting an American wax – which is just a basic clean-up – you can leave your panties on. The waxer may twist and/or knot them to leave the sides of your groin area exposed for waxing.
4 A French wax is, technically, when you take most of the hair off, leaving only a ‘landing strip’ down the centre front, which can be anywhere from a thin line to a couple of inches wide.
5 A Brazilian, which you’ve undoubtedly heard about, is technically getting it all taken off – though you can also specify a Brazilian with a landing strip, which some people call a (yuck) Mohawk.
6 The varying terminology means you can’t just resort to some euphemistic shorthand such as ‘I’d like a Brazilian’ and be sure you’re not going to walk out of there looking like a plucked chicken. Unfortunately, at least the first time, you’re going to have to spell it all out.
7 Does it hurt? Yes, though a couple of aspirin taken a half hour before can help. Lotion or baby powder and wearing a soft pair of tracksuit bottoms instead of stiff jeans home from the salon is also advised.
8 The big question: Why do it? Sex, baby. Assuming you’re not parading around regularly in a string bikini, feeling sexier – and looking hotter – is the only conceivable rationale for a bikini wax.
9 The bigger downside: if you like it, you’re going to have to keep doing it. How often? As frequently as every three or four weeks. Ouch!
