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#6 Don’t Leave a Message

This is a weird one, contributed by my nineteen-year-old son Joe. Only old people leave voice mails, says Joe. Young people, accustomed to communicating by mobile phone rather than landline, figure that their missed connections will see their number in missed calls and return the call if they want or need to talk. Urgent message? Send a text.

Since discovering this tip, I and several other old people of my acquaintance have tried it with amazing results. Before, when I had something important to tell a student or an assistant or a child, I’d leave a long, detailed voice message on her mobile phone … and never get called back.

Then I tried leaving a short, detailed message: ‘Call me as soon as you get this.’

Maybe three days later, I’d hear from her – when I’d forgotten why I called in the first place.

Then I started using the magic technique. Say nothing. Just hang up. And like magic, the young people in my life started returning my calls instantly.

What this tells us:

 Unlike you, when a young person doesn’t answer his mobile phone, it’s not because he a) didn’t hear it, b) forgot to charge it, or c) left it in his other bag. When a young person doesn’t answer his mobile phone, it’s because he saw your name and number on the screen and didn’t want to talk to you.

 If you leave a detailed message, she’ll be so annoyed that she won’t listen to the message, nor will she call you back because she’ll be under the illusion that she’s already talked to you – or, more precisely, that you’ve already talked to her.

 If you say nothing, you’ll be speaking his language (see #77: Don’t Fear the Silence). Plus, he’ll get nervous that what you have to tell him is so bad or so good you couldn’t leave it on voice mail. Plus, he’ll be curious. And he’ll call you back.