Читать книгу Yes, Please. Whatever!: How to get the best out of your teenagers - Penny Palmano - Страница 27

Teens who have a close bond with both or one parent and feel trusted, loved and supported, will usually have excellent relationships with their parents. (This fact has actually been proven by research into teenage behaviour.) These children will be able to experiment with their new independence and will develop and flourish within this supportive framework.

There are a few basics that every parent of a teenager should remember:

 Keep calm. If necessary, take several deep breaths before answering your teen’s requests. Above all, avoid shouting.

 Don’t be drawn into arguments, learn to bite your lip and walk away rather than have to get the last word in.

 Compromise and negotiate where possible to avoid using the word, ‘No’; when you have to say it, mean it, and don’t be bullied into changing your mind.

 Always try and use example to highlight issues rather than telling them outright.

 Avoid sarcasm.

 Keep a sense of humour, laughter is very de-stressing.

 Try and rephrase questions, such as, ‘Have you done your homework yet?’ to the less controlling, ‘How’s the homework coming on?’When the going gets tough: sit down with a glass of wine and remember how gorgeous they were at 5!

 Give them responsibility over their own behaviour wherever possible.

 Tell them you trust them to do the right thing.

 Try and be enthusiastic and positive about their friends, opinions and hopes.

 Avoid saying in any form, ‘I told you so.’ It’s smug and unnecessary; after all, you should know better, you are the parent.

 Remember they still need your physical affection, just never show it in front of their friends.

 Try and empathize with what’s going on in their head.

 Try and avoid constantly arguing with your partner in front of your children.

 Do not burden them with all your problems.

 Keep a supply of well-chilled wine in the fridge.

But above all, don’t be scared to parent your teenager, they need you now more than ever.