Читать книгу Yes, Please. Whatever!: How to get the best out of your teenagers - Penny Palmano - Страница 32

One of the first noticeable differences when your children become teenagers is their need for privacy and you will be showing your respect by allowing them this. Boys especially can spend hours on end in their room. However hard it is to accept they will suddenly want to spend time alone in their room, with their music, the very last thing they want is a parent barging into their room unannounced. Even siblings barging in will get shouted at, but your teenager will be far less impressed if you show up unannounced.

The respectful way is to knock on their door and announce who it is and ask if you can go in. WAIT for a reply – just because you have knocked does not mean you

Respect their privacy

can enter. They will usually reply, ‘Yes,’ or ‘Just a minute.’ If the reply is ‘No,’ and you need to speak, ask if they could come to the door and say what you need through the gap. Don’t start whining, ‘What are you doing in there that I can’t see?’ or ‘Why can’t I come in?’ You asked the question, respect the answer. But if you can smell smoke or dope, ask them to come and see you (privately) in five minutes and then discuss it – don’t bother to mention what it concerns as they will have time to invent replies.

Make sure all siblings know this house rule and obey it. And, of course, you should expect the same courtesy if any of your children want to come into your bedroom.

Sam: ‘This can be a real issue and every teenager wants their privacy. I have many friends who get into huge arguments with their parents when they step in unannounced or knock and just barge in. It is totally disrespectful and kind of gives the impression that parents don’t trust you. This is a really unnecessary cause of arguments.’