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Our first brew

So, how do you make it? Do you want to try? Honestly, you would not believe how easy it is to come up with a good brew. Seven days, a bit of kit, and a lot of patience is all you need. Look in the directory at the back of this book for a list of top suppliers. The stuff you can get these days is way ahead of the pot noodle in a bucket they sold back in the 70s. Here’s what you need.

Brewing beer is as easy as cooking pasta. If you can boil a kettle and follow a recipe, you can make your own home-brew. The ingredients you need are:

1 Malt Malt is mostly made of barley. The barley will give the whole tone of the beer; it’s the canvas on which you paint your flavours. The colour of the beer is strongly linked to the malt from which it is made.

2 Hops Each type of hop adds a different level and variety of bitterness. Using more than one variety or type of hops add to the depth of flavour of the beer.

3 Yeast This is the ingredient that transforms the sugar in the wort (the liquid) into alcohol, so treat it with respect.

4 Liquor Traditional brewers call water ‘liquor’. And good liquor makes good beer. The most prized water contains happy balances of minerals, particularly calcium, and plays a vital part in brewing beer. At one time, Burton-upon-Trent was home to more than 200 breweries largely because the water supply made it ideal for the production of English ales. Breweries today can adjust almost any water supply to produce just the right balance of minerals.

You’ll also need some basic equipment: 25-litre plastic bucket with lid (the mash tun); bottles and caps; hydrometer (for checking sugars and alcohol strength); thermometer; measuring jugs which can hold more than 20 litres; siphoning tube; fermentation bucket; sanitisers.

Here’s our first brew recipe. And guess what, we thought it was fucking marvellous.

Morrissey and Foxy’s Blonde Ale

MAKES ABOUT 40 PINTS

Ingredients:
4,080g	Golden Promise malt
260g	Light crystal malt
39g	Styrian Golding hops
32g	Fuggles hops
10g	Irish moss
15g	Cascade hops
1	packet fast acting yeast

Method:

Add 23 litres of water heated to 77°C to the mash tun. Allow the temperature to drop to 72°C and add both malts. Stir to form a thick porridge. Maintain temperature between 62°C and 69°C for 1½ hours. Strain wort (the liquid) into a large pan very slowly. If the liquid is not clear, return to the mash tun and repeat until a clear wort is produced. Using a watering can, spray the leftover malt with water heated to 77°C. Continue to do this until a reading of 1005 is reached on the hydrometer. Top up the boiler to the desired level and heat to a rolling boil. Add the Styrian Golding and Fuggles hops and the Irish Moss. Boil vigorously for 1 hour. Add the Cascade hops and boil for a further 15 minutes. Cool very quickly and transfer the liquid only to the fermenting vessel. Add the dissolved yeast, cover and place in a cool (22°C degree) room for two days. Carefully siphon off the clear liquid into another fermenting vessel, leaving behind any flotsam and jetsam. Ferment for a further three or four days with an airtight lid. Siphon off the clear BEER and enjoy!